Issue 7: we should all be experiments...

“Anyone who isn't embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn't learning enough.” 

So says British philosopher and founder of The School of Life, Alain de Botton. I’m inclined to agree... because I feel embarrassed of who I am most days, let alone years.

But not in a bad way. In a great: “Ooooooooh I’m evolving! I’m improving!” kind of way.

Because we should all be experiments, really. Crying, walking, sleeping, talking, living experiments that try and fail and test and learn and know the only option is to keep on truckin’ even when the days feel hard and hopeless. 

I love experimentation. I run a creative experimentation company, so that’s lucky. 

But I’D ALSO LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO AN EXPERIMENT! 

YOU!

MY LINKEDIN FRIENDS!

On 28th September I’m running a two-hour workshop on the subject of weirdness, and I’d love you to come, because we’re also going to be attempting a live social experiment… 

Nothing scary, and I promise it won’t hurt (not least because it’s virtual) but I have a hypothesis that we’d all be happier if we allowed ourselves to be the weird versions of ourselves that we naturally are, and I have a couple of ways I want to test it out on a willing and interested group.

We're going to be talking about the science of weird and how you can harness your own; the power of doodles and daydreams and what we can learn from the world's weirdness people and rituals.

I can't wait! There’s only 10 spaces left so grab your tickets here https://www.speakeasy.com/e/weird-seance  - it’s £18 or $25 - and I promise you an enlightening and unforgettable time! 

As you’ve probably predicted, this entire newsletter is about EXPERIMENTS. My favourite ones. The good, the bad, and the totally unethical. 6 impossible experiments that will blow your mind, and probably blew a few people’s minds at the time, irreparably. 

1. Gum makes you cool. We have proof. 

Oh, I’m a sucker for a decent human insight. And this 2013 ad campaign for Beldent chewing gum back in 2013 did not disappoint. 

Chewing gum gets a bad rap, right? It’s noisy, dirty on the pavement, and in some countries (like Singapore) it’s even illegal! And with tasty minty chewy sweets that you can swallow growing in popularity, gum’s had its work cut out to remain culturally relevant. 

But you know what’s always culturally relevant? Coolness. So the marketing peeps at Beldent decided to run a social experiment to prove that chewing gum makes you cool. They found numerous pairs of identical twins and sat them in an interactive art installation, with only one of the pair chewing gum. Passers-by were asked (through a set of headphones): 

“Which one seems like they have more friends?” 

“Which one gets invited to more parties?” 

And various other questions that would suggest one is more socially desirable than the other.

Guess what. The identical twin came out as cooler every time. It’s terribly heavy-handed and the results were probably manipulated to high heaven, but what a lovely idea. Just like chewing gum, it’s superficially cool and great for sharing!

2. If everybody else jumped off a cliff… would you? 

I’ve never been one to follow the pack, but sometimes I can’t help it. You want examples? Well, if everyone started wearing blue lipstick, I would. If my companions at a birthday dinner all ordered espresso martinis, then I’d order one too. And if was sitting in a room with two other people and thick smoke started to fill the air through a vent, yet they remained seated, then I’d probably stay seated, too. 

WAIT. WHAT? 

According to science I would, anyway. The Smoky Room experiment is one of the most baffling yet irrefutable, given that it’s been conducted in different ways by many psychologists to prove the power of social pressure and bystander apathy. 

In 1969, the American Scientists B Latane & J Darley conducted an experiment in three rooms. 

In the first room was a single individual research participant. In the second room were three research participants. In the third room were three people, but one was a research participant and two were paid actors. Oooooh, sneaky. Everyone in every room was asked to complete a single questionnaire. But the questionnaire was a red herring.

While they were completing the questionnaire, every room filled with smoke, until the entire space became hazy; the air dense. Everyone freaked out! Or did they…? 

Nope. The reactions in each room were dramatically different. 75% of alone subjects calmly noticed the smoke and left the room to report it. BUT only 10% of the research participants in the room with two actors said anything at all. TEN PER CENT! And weirder still, in the room with three research participants, only 38% of them reported it. What the tiny hell was going on? 

We’re far more influenced by those around us than we’d like to believe. This experiment proves that when we’re surrounded by others we’re more inclined to follow their behavioural lead than if we were alone. Our desire to conform, to follow, to fit in, is powerful and in some cases, deadly.

The experiment was first conducted in response to a devastating incident in 1964: the murder of Kitty Genovese. Kitty was killed on a public New York street outside the apartment where she lived while 38 residents - her neighbours - heard and watched the incident, yet none acted to save her.

The Bystander Effect - and diffusion of responsibility - is a terribly dark, terribly serious process. We see it every day on tube trains, in offices; the more people there are watching, the less they’ll help. Somebody else will fix this: not me. Are you guilty of it, too?

If you want to learn more, I thoroughly recommend the book ‘Why We Act: Turning Bystanders into Moral Rebels’ by Catherine A Sanderson. 

3. Facebook made you sad on purpose

Like that boyfriend or girlfriend who gives you the ick (maybe they were rude to a waiter, or started getting balls of spit forming in the corner of their mouth) anything Facebook does feels grubby to me, these days. Even their virtual reality meetings make me cringe. 

Maybe it all went downhill when Mark Zuckerberg pretended he launched the platform to try and end world war. Maybe it was the bizarre political polarisation towards Brexit amongst my old school friends. Maybe it’s just crap and uninspiring nowadays. But many forget that Facebook was dirty even before your nan started sharing racist memes. Because they conducted a psychological experiment without anybody’s permission. 

We’re well aware of the addiction social media can cause, but there’s a wealth of data in them there Facebook feeds, relating to people’s reactions and emotions and general wellbeing. So for one week in 2012, Facebook’s data scientists looked at the growing number of suckers on the site and thought: “Hmmmmm…. Nice brain you’ve got there… would be a shame if someone were to… MESS WITH IT!” 

Very simply, they manipulated the newsfeeds of 689,003 users (what a sample!) removing either all the positive posts or all the negative posts, to try and measure the effect this would have on people’s moods. 

The study found that like all the best diseases, emotions are contagious. "When positive expressions were reduced, people produced fewer positive posts and more negative posts; when negative expressions were reduced, the opposite pattern occurred,” said Adam Kramer, the lead researcher on the project. 

Since then, our understanding of the role of emotion in social media has continued to grow. We also know that rage-fuelled content is likely to get shared more. But in an era when the mental health of the planet’s citizens is more fragile than ever, messing around with people’s minds is at best crass, and at worst... risky as hell.

This is yet another reason why in the history texts of the future, Facebook will undoubtedly be listed as one of the greatest villains of our time. Just wait and see. 

4. Fake memories and Mandela

Fiona Broome was sure that Nelson Mandela died in prison in the 1980s. She remembered news coverage of the event, and was even able to find other people who shared the same memory as her. In reality, Mandela left prison and went on to become the President of South Africa. 

This fake memory is the source of an interesting concept now named The Mandela Effect, which relates to distorted memories that groups of people - for some reason - seem to share. Sometimes it’s really basic, like the mass belief that shoe brand Skechers has a T in its logo (see below). BUT IT DOES NOT!  

Another baffling one is that the Monopoly man doesn’t have a monocle. But he does! I REMEMBER HIM HAVING A MONOCLE, DAMMIT!

Often this emerges as a result of a significant misquoting or mis-referencing that is mimicked so many times in culture it becomes normalised. But if you really wanted to (i.e. are a psychopath) you could actually plant false memories into somebody’s brain. 

In a strange, disturbing experiment conducted by Loftus and Pickrell in 1995, 24 participants were told four stories from their childhood (between 4 and 6 years old) but one of the stories was FALSE! The stories were provided by relatives of the research subjects, and were totally regular occurrences, i.e. nothing traumatic that they might have blocked out. The false memory across all of the participants was getting lost in a shopping mall. 

But here’s the twist: the participants weren’t told that one of the memories was false! They were then asked to write down which of the memories they remembered, and a week later had to do the same thing. Out of 24 people, 5 of them apparently recalled the false memory as one of their own. They truly believed they’d got lost in a shopping mall. 

There’s an important lesson in here… around 20% of people are complete suckers that you can brainwash to believe anything. Use that information however you wish. (It’s the kind of stat that Facebook would quite like, I'd imagine…) 

5. Can’t afford a lava lamp? 

Grab an empty bottle, put some food colouring water in it, a bit of oil, some aka seltzer, and hey presto. 

Oil and water never mix, because they have different densities, but If you crumble an alka-seltzer tablet inside, it reacts with the water, causing the coloured droplets to rise to the top, pop, release air, and sink back to the bottom. Try it yourself! Isn’t science beautiful. 

6. The ultimate experiment? We’re living in it, mate. 

I wouldn’t consider myself religious. I was raised a catholic, but primarily because the catholic school in my area was the best one. So, my parents made a pact with the father, son and holy ghost to provide me with the best free education possible in Thurrock, Essex. 

And whilst an extremely intense period of indoctrination wasn’t enough to keep me going to church, it’s definitely left me open-minded to the possibility that there’s something, anything, after all this. Or a higher power of sorts, whether it’s a god, the universe at large, or a dude sitting in his bedroom playing us like a simulation. 

In fact I love the idea of a dude sitting in his bedroom playing us like a simulation.

Experts say the chances of us living in a massive ever-evolving and mutating computer game are 50/50 (although I don’t know how you become an expert in something like that). Rocket Man Elon Musk is pretty sure that if you look at the pace of evolution in gaming and immersive worlds it only makes sense that virtual creativity will one day be so sophisticated we’ll live in it. As a theory, it's actually quite hard to argue against. Watch the video for slightly more (but not total) clarity. 

So this is what I choose to believe. And when you believe that you live in a massive computer game life changes, it really does. You take things less seriously… you become more focused on winning… and all of a sudden the idea of having a path, a distinct journey, makes perfect sense. 

I’m so obsessed with the idea I wrote a poem about it, that was published in the popular poetry magazine The Knight’s Library last year. It’s one of my favourites. And if you're wondering... "Is it melancholy?" The answer is: "Yes. Yes it is."

The thing about good poetry, I think, is that it's not necessary to understand every line. You just need to get a feeling. An urge or a pang or a sense of wonder.

Here's some homework: why not try experimenting with your own words? Write your own poems! They don't have to rhyme, they don't have to make sense, but they can be an amazing way of processing thoughts and emotions, without Facebook having to fuck up your newsfeed.

(I managed THREE Facebook digs in this newsletter! Not bad!)

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That's your lot, and THANK YOU for being willing participants in the ongoing experiment that is my life, and newsletter. I'll see you soon, and don't forget to get your ticket for my Weird Seance event on the 28th! Grab one here.