How can self-compassion help you build confidence by overcoming perfectionism and self-criticism?

Perfectionism and self-criticism are common obstacles to building confidence. They make you feel inadequate, unworthy, and anxious about your performance and appearance. They also prevent you from learning from your mistakes, accepting feedback, and celebrating your achievements. How can you overcome these negative habits and boost your confidence? One possible answer is self-compassion.

1 What is self-compassion?

Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and support, especially when you face challenges, failures, or difficulties. It is not about self-pity, self-indulgence, or self-esteem. It is about recognizing your common humanity, your imperfections, and your emotions, and giving yourself the same care and respect that you would give to a friend.

Add your perspective

Sinead Sharkey-Steenson

💥Coaching women to leadership success in business & sport | Peri/ Menopause Leadership Expert💥 🛑 On a mission to stop the menopause talent drain | 🔴 TedX Speaker | 🎤 Stand Up Comedy | 🥶 Perimenopausal sea swimmer
It’s also about balance. We’re really good at the critical, because our brains are trained to catch the negative as a faulty survival mechanism. Practicing self compassion is key to introducing balance. For our brains to function well, we need to open up to the positives and recognising our strengths and being kind to ourselves will support that. It’s only then can we get in our zone, be at our most resourceful and creative. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. We actually perform better, we feel better, and therefore can greater appreciate what we do well.
Like
Report contribution
Jamie Perry

Non-residential House Parent @ The Worthgate School | Youth Mentoring
Self-compassion is the art of loving oneself. Not the kind of self-love that prevents one from seeing the pain and hurt in others but coming to the place of realisation that's it okay to hug yourself; it's okay to forgive yourself for mistakes you make that you would forgive others for. Self-compassion should birth compassion for others; if you love yourself freely then compassion fir others will flow easys.
Like
Report contribution

2 Why is self-compassion important for confidence?

Self-compassion can help you build confidence by reducing the harmful effects of perfectionism and self-criticism. Acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses without judgement or comparison, embracing mistakes as opportunities for growth, responding to feedback constructively, appreciating your achievements and efforts, and managing your emotions are all ways to practice self-compassion. Doing so can help you take criticism without becoming defensive or aggressive, as well as cope with stress instead of suppressing or avoiding it.

Add your perspective

Jamie Perry

Non-residential House Parent @ The Worthgate School | Youth Mentoring
Talking to the inner you will build confidence, " I can do"; I will get through this." , " I'm good enough" and " I'm loved" will defeat the committee in your head. Coaching yourself is a by-product of self-confidence bred by self-compassion.
Like
Report contribution

3 How can you practice self-compassion?

Self-compassion is a skill that can be developed and improved with practice. To do so, use positive and supportive self-talk instead of negative and harsh words. Be mindful of your feelings and thoughts, rather than judging or ignoring them. Show yourself kindness and comfort, rather than punishment and blame. Additionally, connect with people who can empathize and encourage you, rather than isolating or criticizing you. With practice, self-compassion can improve and ultimately lead to greater self-acceptance.

Add your perspective

Katrina Williams

Psychologist | Life Purpose Coach | Consultant
Another way to add to your self compassion is the imagine your inner child and speak as if you are addressing them. Sometimes strong feelings can arise which show you blocks to compassion. Through deep breathing and gentle speech to your inner child you can release blocks. With time this practice comes with more vulnerability and ease.
Like
Report contribution
Sinead Sharkey-Steenson

💥Coaching women to leadership success in business & sport | Peri/ Menopause Leadership Expert💥 🛑 On a mission to stop the menopause talent drain | 🔴 TedX Speaker | 🎤 Stand Up Comedy | 🥶 Perimenopausal sea swimmer
To be compassionate to ourselves we need to recognise the negative voice of our inner judge. Until we do that we tend to accept it as fact…your judge is a liar! When you hear that negative self talk, that’s your judge, so label it as such. It will help you distance from it. You can even acknowledge that it’s trying to keep you safe but you’re likely not at any life threatening risk. Then you can ask yourself ‘what would my best friend say to me?’ Friends tend to be much more compassionate to each other than we are to ourselves!
Like
Report contribution

4 What are the benefits of self-compassion?

Self-compassion can have a powerful impact on your confidence and well-being. It can lead to an increase in self-confidence and self-worth, as you learn to appreciate yourself for who you are, not what you do or how you look. Additionally, it can reduce anxiety and depression, as you develop better coping strategies for negative emotions and thoughts. Moreover, it can enhance motivation and performance, as you strive to reach realistic and meaningful goals with enthusiasm and persistence. Finally, it can improve relationships and communication, as you become more assertive in expressing your needs and feelings, as well as more empathetic and constructive when listening to others.

Add your perspective

5 How can you overcome the challenges of self-compassion?

Self-compassion may not come naturally or easily, especially if you’re used to being self-critical and perfectionist. You may face some challenges, such as fear of being seen as weak, selfish, or complacent; resistance to change; and lack of support or understanding. To overcome these challenges, challenge your beliefs and assumptions about self-compassion and replace them with more positive ones. Commit to practicing self-compassion regularly and consistently, and celebrate your progress. Additionally, seek out supportive and understanding people who can reinforce your self-compassionate attitude and behavior. Joining a self-compassion group, finding a mentor or coach, or sharing your experiences with a friend or family member are all great ways to do this.

Add your perspective

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

Add your perspective

How can self-compassion help you build confidence by overcoming perfectionism and self-criticism?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 What is self-compassion?

2 Why is self-compassion important for confidence?

3 How can you practice self-compassion?

4 What are the benefits of self-compassion?

5 How can you overcome the challenges of self-compassion?

6 Here’s what else to consider

Confidence Building

Rate this article

Thanks for your feedback

More articles on Confidence Building

More relevant reading