How can you effectively negotiate with someone who is difficult to read?

Listen to them. Get them to talk. Like the saying goes, "God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason" listen twice as much as you talk. If they dont want to talk, they may not be your customer.

We all run into potential clients who are difficult to read. If you haven't yet, you will! I research their company, key staff on LinkedIn and their Activity, any news releases or current publicized projects. I first want to feel that I know what's going on in their firm, particularly how THAT person is involved or interacting. Armed with that intel, I feel more confident heading into conversations whether over the phone, Zoom, or in person. Patience is definitely a key point: being too inquisitive or over-anxious can work against you; but being able to offer thoughtful commentary or questions will likely give a lasting impression, leading to a more positive result.

If you are standing on hard floor and know your strengths, unique attributes, and your “Must Haves” and “Can Give Ups”, there is little to negotiate - just communicate.

Read yourself first. What are you bringing to the table? If you bring value, that's all. Relax and go with the flow. Everyone is looking for value, you have that, it's the other person's job to have you with him.

Why is the other person difficult to read? Are they negotiating in good faith or pursuing a hidden agenda? Both sides must be interested in and actively involved in bringing the negotiations to a successful conclusion. Building trust requires open communication, not concealing some ulterior motive. Depending on the topic's importance, cutting one's losses and walking away might be better.

Open-ended questions are great, but it's critical to watch the other person's responses including body language. They may answer in a way you're happy with, but were THEY happy with the question or their own answer? Do they give off vibes of answering because they want to or they feel they have to? Does their body language or tone of voice jibe with their answer? Active listening is all well and good, but not if the other person shows signs of being uncomfortable. Finding out the WHY of that is critical.

Body language is typically not a good format for reading someone who appears to not be fully focused on your efforts to communicate your sales strategy. When you are in this kind of position, I recommend using "Active listening" techniques in a way that fosters communication. Ask an "Open-Ended" question and then make sure you are listening. Wait for the pause that will come and use what effective conversation. At the pause, state, "Let me make sure I understand the information you just provided." This technique works. Each time there is a pause change the statement just a little to let the prospect know that you are genuinely interested in the information they provided. More times than not, you will seal the deal then and there.

My go-to strategy is the 80/20 rule. I let the other person do 80% of the talking while I stick to 20%. I steer away from simple yes-or-no questions, opting instead for open-ended ones that encourage them to share more. I've found that staying silent after asking a question often prompts them to reveal more than they intended. I also make a habit of playing dumb at times, asking for clarification or further explanation to gain deeper insights into their perspective. By actively listening and asking follow-up questions, I create an environment where the other person feels comfortable sharing their thoughts, helping me navigate negotiations more effectively.

Body language is overrated as humans are capable of making a multitude of gestures, many of which are hardly noticeable. Unless one is an expert & is intensly focusing on the other person, the understanding of cues will not be possible. One may lean forward just because they are medically advised to move a bit while sitting. Hence, a generalization is not very helpful. The most effective approach would be to be genuine, open and transparent in negotiation discussions so that we may have a possibility to open the door of reciprocal gesture from the other side. Many a times, they say, never make the first offer. That is not universal. If you have a tempting offer for the other side, make it. It may excite the other person to open up.

Body language often gives away more clues than we think. Very often you can see the disconnect between body language and spoken words - so become a master at reading the signals.

As I mentioned above, body language and tone of voice carry more weight than mere words can. There's a well-known estimate of how important these three elements -- words (7%), tone of voice (38%), body language (55%) -- are in establishing true alignment. But I prefer to keep things simple, so my 3 numbers are words (10%), tone of voice (35%), and body language (55%). For me, it's not about the exact figures; it's all about the biggest one, which is body language! Too often we neglect to pay it enough attention, and are sadly surprised at a negative conversation and/or result.

Be authentic! 🌸 “There are several other benefits of being authentic. Trust and respect: When you're true to yourself, you not only trust the judgments and decisions that you make, but others trust you as well. They'll respect you for standing by your values and beliefs. Integrity: When you're authentic, you also have integrity .” Which will show in your posture.

The tone of voice is the second highest of the three but I believe it carries more weight. One of our first ways of learning is through voice. When we left the wound, we needed a voice to guide us. We absorbed information and used it to learn. We can learn a lot about someone just by listening.

Perhaps the best way to understand what is holding them back from being transparent with you is to ask the same generic question in multiple ways in multiple contexts until you are fully understanding what they are trying to convey. The culture of the company may be a factor, their stature and experience may be at risk, the industry may have norms or constraints that are playing a role, and above all that, this person may just be unusual. I have found that once we make some headway, other impediments fall aside, so patience, open-ended questioning, and repeating your understanding of their answer while probing a bit further each time often opens doors. It's a process!

If you understand DiSC™ and the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator, you can be far ahead of others! While neither "test" is perfect, there are many cues / clues others often exhibit without realizing it that we can use to help any negotiation go more smoothly. Anyone who knows DiSC™ can easily see which of the 4 types I am most like and which I'm pretty far from. I'm a true High I, meaning I'm a big-picture person most of the time, allergic to numbers and details unless they are part of my chosen work and can help me shine, and very susceptible to overdone praise. I tend to leap, then look. I tend to move very quickly without always checking all the boxes or finding out all the details I should. Just knowing that could make our convo work.

Leave with love: * Many people don't "care what you know, just want to know that you care." In other words, show up in unexpected ways. *Because love is an action word. If you deliver with love, people will feel it because we are emotional creatures.

Be completely present in the conversation. You will be able to pick up more subtle cues by being totally focussed on them. Listen for understanding rather than being caught up on what you want to say next.

1. Be ready with your data and evidence. 2. Be ready with solutions and ideas. 3. Articulate what would happen if the negotiation doesn't work . 4. Try to take a break in stagnant no bulge/high conflict point of negotiation cycle . 5. Try to remain very calm and non emotional . Taking things personally will not advance the conversation ever. 6. Be prepared with the mental understanding that you could be encountering extreme toxic behavior . Level set your own expectations. To expect that an unreasonable person will somehow magically become reasonable is not going to help your cause . 7. When negotiating on behalf of your organization, be extremely clear and understand from your leadership what can and cannot be given . All the best.

Find a common ground. There are many different aspects of which we can usually find in common with another person - this can be either on a professional or personal standpoint. For example; knowing a mutual contact or supporting the same football team.