Chantel's Reviews > I Cheerfully Refuse

** spoiler alert ** It is important to note that most of the themes explored in this book deal with sensitive subject matters. My review, therefore, touches on these topics as well. Many people might find the book's subject matters & those detailed in my review overwhelming. I suggest you steer clear of both if this is the case. Please note that from this point forward I will be writing about matters that contain reflections on the death of a loved one, graphic violence, torture, forced confinement, the sexual abuse of a child, violent crime, lynching, grief, & others.

The good story begins with the voice of wonder speaking down from the clouds; sneaking blissfully through the wind; resounding like falling timber in the woods; offering the sounds of sonorous fantasia into the pulsing eardrum of the reader. The narrator may never be seen by the reader but for his resounding voice, which often feels too far away to chase & yet resounds with comfort, too close to release into the page.

Rainy’s narration is one of a man whom readers will love immediately. His story begins where all good stories do, with his heartstrings sewn tightly to the instrument he sets forward to play. As readers open the page to this chronology they will meet what defines the traveller’s furry; the incomparable emaciating infatuation of a story.

The cover art for this book gave me pause. I will always admit, with truth & compassion, that I judge books by their covers. I do not do this because my opinion matters more than the artist or the author whose time & investment crafted the joint nature of visual art. Rather, I do this because the beast's shell speaks to me or is silent.

I have been reading for a great many years, I state with certainty that I know when to listen to the tectonic murmur of a story & when to go on my way. This is not a science; sometimes books do not appeal to me or, in other cases, their colours seem to promise me the ruby & leave me empty-handed in the end. I enjoy reading so, it’s no love lost, either way. In this case, Enger chose wisely. The colourful painted world of his tale was brought to life on the cover & for this reason, I requested the opportunity to read what was held inside.

It was early in my reading experience that I realized that I could not eagerly run to the end of this book. It was too good to leave. I reached out to a friend, who will surely recognize himself in this section—rather what are friends for if not to support one’s adulation of reading? As it so happens, I knew he would love this book as much as me, yet, I was hesitant to tell him so because, at that point, I had only read about ten percent of the 300+ pages.

Every sentence reminded me of the joy I felt as a child, reading the adventurous series of books  « Amos Daragon : Porteur des masques » (2003) by Bryan Perro. As an adult, I felt that the years spent reading as a child shaped the world around me & I never stopped chasing the format that contained the stories I adored.

In adulthood, adventures & turmoil, hidden treasure, fantasy & lore, often disappear into the backdrop. Yet, readers of these genres, such as myself & my friend, often make our way indirectly to the origin of what was for us, the beginning of enchantment.

Enger welcomed me into his story after time away from such imaginativeness. The introduction will allow readers to ease their way into the milky sautéd waters of the Great Lakes which are home to me & my country’s neighbour. The story will be a dystopian nightmare, yet not ghoulish like the fanged villains who bomb the houses where children live, yet seething in a way that reminds readers why dreams of adventure are so deeply important.

In its essence, this is a story about death & grieving, & the ways in which our person dies a slow death waiting to rejoin those whom we have loved in this life. Rainy, the main character, is a man who is kind, he is tender & funny, smart & musically inclined. His narration of the story comes from a point in the future. The reader is unsure of why Rainy has chosen to share his recollections or if he knows that we are listening. However, these details are not as important as they may seem; Rainy has something to share & so he does. This excursion began when his beloved wife, Lark, was murdered in their home by a group of government bruisers who ransacked the house in search of a runaway prisoner.

I find this story difficult to review. I felt terribly sad when Lark was murdered & yet, I hardly knew her. In fact, Lark wasn’t a real person at all, she is a character in a book. Her character was warm, cunning, savvy & humorous, she was gentle & firm, empathetic & silly. Lark felt like the rain over dry crops; she was a person who brought life into the story by the mere mention of her person. It is no mystery to me why I felt so positively devastated by her untimely demise. Lark’s character enters the story & acts as the light that shines the way for Rainy. Their marriage is one that would make the most claustrophobic covet the cupboard to feel such snug warmth.

Lark was a keener of delicate & valuable books—readers will love her for this fact alone. She owned a shop in the town & roamed the country in search of estate sales & delicate treasures she may amass for her collection. In the world of this story, such treasures were rare & often miscategorized for their lack of immediate value, such as one would find in a tool or wire.

I suppose in some ways, I wanted the opportunity to visit Lark. I did not forget where I sat while reading this book nor did I envy the characters their world; a society in which rampant triads of gore shimmered in every horizon & sunrise. Yet, had the opportunity to visit her little shop of wonders been granted, I would have taken it. You see, I cannot pass up the chance to see what stories are beloved by another. Here we find ourselves at the heart of the story.

Though this book deals primarily with violence, the adventure of finding a person one has lost to death, & the trials of surviving in a gruesomely barbaric society; this story also teases the reader with sweets in the form of tales & first drafts, of chronicles that the bind knows the reader cannot pass up. The title of this book is the same as the one that Lark has pursued throughout her adult life. I am compassionate of her endless & tiresome travels, attempting to obtain the precious gem that has escaped her. When finally she finds it, her death follows soon after.

What is the purpose of this book? What is the goal when including a secondary author in the torment of grief that overshadows all other things? Readers may find that Enger confuses himself by encouraging Rainy to carry a book that Lark loved & yet never had the opportunity to ruminate on, throughout the months of his travels in search of her spirit reincarnate. Veteran readers, or readers who are people with days under their skies & dozens of meetings with the moon, will not begrudge Enger or Rainy their small comfort.

As referenced earlier, the goons who were responsible for Lark’s murder were chasing an escaped prisoner whose name was Kellan. His character is flawed, rather sullen, sulky & shy. However, Kellan is also patient, insightful, & kind. Though the reader never learns the details of Rainy’s age, they may come to look at him as a man in the middle; a person who has lived long enough to know the patterns & flow of life but who has enough spirit left in him to try something new & tempt fate, one more time.

The relationship that these two characters share is short-lived. Kellan runs away in the middle of Lark’s birthday party & Rainy sees him only upon arriving on the government’s prison ship. Yet, their time is well-spent & readers are given the layout of the viper’s nest that sits quietly in the tall grass.

Though I do not think it is my place—a reviewer’s place—to recap the story in its entirety, I hope this morsel suffices for readers who have yet to read the book, to engage their curiosity further by going to the source.  Enger writes a story that lingers in the mind. Every single character is a delight, even when they act as the antagonist to the melodramatic chants of the protagonist.

The feat of writing an adventure the likes of which rivals Homer’s “The Odyssey” (725 BCE), is incomparably difficult. Readers seldom forget themselves in their reading experience. Those who do are perhaps reading for escapism or are less critical of the world built around them; none of which are bad things. To be met with the dedicated talent of an author who understands their characters & the shadow figures of their imaginary world is a treat one savours upon encountering. Enger is an author whom I will seek out again.

What made this story so enthralling had perhaps less to do with the plot than it did with the characters. Rainy was not without his faults & none of the secondary characters were altogether trustworthy. In scenes, the reader meets people who are abusive, cruel, & tormented. The next chapters gently untangle a forgotten memory that Rainy wishes to share & it seems that the story is forgiven for the introduction of an annoying child or of a dirty malevolent predator.

Just as life is flawed & faulted by the very nature of its existence, so too was this story. The flow of the narrative captured what it meant to mourn a loss that was stolen; a thieved facet of what made life worth living.

The imagery presented throughout Rainy’s travels reminded me of home while also speaking to me in a language foreign to my understanding. The claim of this being a dystopian novel is factually correct, though I would hesitate to state that devourers of this genre of story will be met with their most beloved in this bind. Rather, this story appeals to readers because of its adventurous nature; wandering minds & analytic thinkers will have something to devour & deconstruct without necessarily stepping outside the confines of comfort.

The equation presented is one that a tired & true reader may have encountered before. In some ways, this reminded me of John Langan’s “The Fisherman” (2017), which is how I sold it to my friend, telling him that in this book he would find the classic storytelling of ancient philosophers & the clawing nature of the magistral beast that we both loved in Langan’s fantastical horror.

These points are not meant to discourage readers, on the contrary, I believe that one has certainly come upon a book that missed the heart of what their reader’s mind was seeking to find & I believe that I have been satiated by reading Enger’s book. Certainly, the storytelling style of a personal narration, mixed with memories, side notes featuring feelings, & characters the reader will never become acquainted with firsthand, may lead some readers to flounder; What is the purpose in so much detail?

While I reference my nameless friend so often it is not without purpose. There were times while reading when I wondered if my grasp of English was strong enough or if I had enough life experience to empathize with Rainy. On other occasions, I felt overexposed to feelings I kept locked away or memories that reminded me of my existence. Though I shall never come out & say the things that make me who I am & very rarely hint at them, the books that I appreciate—the stories that I love—do that for me.

To share such high esteem with another person is quite a vulnerable position. Rainy spends an entire novel speaking to the reader because they are a stranger. He knows how he may sound & he understands that he will come across, as sometimes shallow, & sometimes a silly dreamer, but he shares his experiences because this part of him has lived in his person for so long, & it has come time to set it free.

I knew I loved Rainy immediately & I rather bemoan myself for writing that sentiment here because I do not want you to know this. Rainy reminds me quite intimately of the hope I held a very long time ago. He remained nearly faceless throughout this entire story because, as all great love stories go, we met in the written word & we shall never have the chance to meet with eyes locked in understanding.

His deep-rooted admiration, tenderness, respect—his love—for Lark opened a soft spot for him in my mind & it was overwhelming to see him remain a man that a reader could trust, flaws & all. What kind of reader does this make me? Perhaps in the same way that Rainy sought refuge with the quietly gentle couple in the remote town near a Great Lake, so too have I tilted my head upward to meet the bear waiting for me in the forest.

Ultimately, as I wrote out my recommendation to my friend—a person who knows me well enough now to understand the grappling nature of sickness that cut off crumbs of paper for him to follow when it was his time—I remembered myself as a child, reading the great books that shadowed the hallways of the houses I frequented & the people whose minds they lived within.

A recommendation is a person’s way of saying; in this delicate treasure, you may find me, alongside the uncharacteristically earnest people who colour the ink. Perhaps, I feel brave because I read a story about a man who could not escape his grief. Maybe, in some way, this story was made magical because it reminded me of something else, or because the prose was more beautiful than a naturally grown rose, or the morning song of a bird waking one from slumber.

Certainly, the pilgrimage of grief exists alongside Rainy for the rest of his life. His story does not end as the reader closes the page to stare into silence. Rather, snippets of his joy, his cool water resounding mornings, his riddles & strums, the waves of his forearms & Ursidae heart, beat into the night like a drum whose belly is soft as the fur that once adorned it; tanned with the sorrow of a long & succulently devious life.

Thank you to NetGalley, Grove Atlantic, & Leif Enger for the free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!