Chantel's Reviews > Swallow the Ghost

** spoiler alert ** It is important to note that most of the themes explored in this book deal with sensitive subject matters. My review, therefore, touches on these topics as well. Many people might find the book's subject matters & those detailed in my review overwhelming. I suggest you steer clear of both if this is the case. Please note that from this point forward I will be writing about matters that contain reflections on violent crime, grief, murder, distorted body image, eating disorders, substance abuse, sexual-based violence, clinical distress, the death of an animal, & others.

Ample are the parameters, definers, symptoms, & faces of grief. The altruistic nature of the sentiment prevents the shadow of emptiness from hovering over a future horizon, perhaps never to be met by the sufferer. The quotidian rhythm of existence promises grief in the rise & fall of all that we do; there is no way to avoid loss. However, grief is not simply a loss. In its own beautiful way, grief speaks to something unknown; a splinter in the beast itself. Culture will define grief & will prevent it from growing tall; nipping it at the heels with the poignant hymn of truth. Yet, one must ask; What is the truth?

When I requested this book I knew not what to expect. This is perhaps a silly statement. Rarely do I endeavour into books that gift me a clear idea of what they wish to present. I have always been a reader who prefers the silent miss-matching of story & mind. The ambiguous clarity provided by a synopsis is one I usually forfeit altogether; I have done this too long not to read the shaded colours & stencilled shapes on the wall. In this particular case, I was glad to hold my ignorance. The format of the story is adopted primarily to sequester a reader in what might be a primal stance; to be victim, victor, or vanquished.

In essence, this story is about Jane. It appears trite to say that the story relies upon Jane’s disorders to reel the reader into submission but, this is the truth. The story opens with Jane’s redundancy. Her mornings see the consequence of dread filling her lungs after a night of being caught in the riptide of her illness (Bulimia Nervosa). She runs the city, scours her room, rides the train to work, eats a salad, occupies every free second with her best friend, hitchhikes her way home through pizza joints & doughnut shops, & repeats her dissociated dance of online activity & purges evidence of nutrition into the bellies of the toilet bowl.

Jane’s story is split into three parts. The first of which explores the first-hand experiences of Jane’s diligent & harmful cycle, as listed in the paragraph above. In between the sections that read like a malevolent tornado, Jane meets men; she sleeps with them, runs the pedestrian’s path with them, & works on literary projects with them. All the while, Jane remains essentially unknown to all the people around her. This first section is meant to act as both a cautionary tale & a reminder that the mundane sickness of life may not end us but, death is certainly around the corner. That is to say, Jane’s life is sad to take in.

Readers unfamiliar with the cycle of distress that accompanies an eating disorder may feel just as suffocated as readers who have felt the weight of horror in their bodies & bones. Montague works diligently to prevent the reader from forgetting who Jane is. Rather than stick to the mounds of dread, scratchy throats, & dirty bile; Montague reminds readers that Jane is a person misunderstood; she has likes & dislikes, passions & terrors. All the things that make the reader the essence of who they are also exist in Jane. This is what made her section both insightful & ruefully grievous. Through the pages of repeated daily activity, Jane becomes a person that the reader wishes to know. Some form of the fingers on the pages longs to intervene before it is too late.

Throughout this section, I found myself actively engaged in the anthropologist’s role. Would Jane be able to find peace? Which of the men in Jane’s life murdered her? Every morning run reminded me of the curious nature of life; our habits shape the day as we move through it, tedious as they sometimes seem. However, in so far as I found Jane’s section engaging, the narrative lost steam because we learned so little about her environment. This was most likely done intentionally.

Jane is the victim of a violent crime, her section could not be the length of a tome, she was nearing her final days & it was soon time that the reader shifted points of view to better understand the narrative at play. Regardless, I felt taxed as a consequence of a morbid existence, otherwise seen as being Jane’s life.

The redundancy of Jane’s life shifts to welcome a new character, Jesse. The second part of the story explores a tertiary point of view of the crime. The players the reader grew accustomed to seeing in the backdrop of Jane’s life become the villains; men with voices too loud to discern clearly.

Jesse’s role is as an investigator for the Defendant, Jeremy. In all sincerity, I preferred this section to the two others because it felt real in a way that is difficult to achieve in writing. Jesse’s life is flawed & hurtful; his days are wrought with anxiety & pain. His family life consists of hours spent guiding his mother through repetitions brought on by her Dementia & attempting to prevent her from losing hope in the darkness brought on by her mind. Jesse’s narrative was raw, earnest, pleading, ambitious, & genuine. His person brought realism to a plot that introduced the reader to people they might never understand & then, here came Jesse, a character who could also be their friend.

Notable in this section is how Montague wrote the turmoil of a terminal diagnosis alongside the finality of death at the hands of another. In both cases, for both women—Jane & Jesse’s mother—the end of their lives became a truth they were not privy to learning. While Jesse attempted to wander in the dark to find the pieces of his mother that might still exist in her mind, he also attempted to find the truth in the void left behind by Jane’s murder. The links between both women are ample & a diligent reader will piece together the ropes that tie them to one existence; that of a woman without agency.

I found Jesse to be amiable & warm. His earnest pursuit of the truth among all the shaded groves of different people & their experiences, helps the plot move forward but it also grants it the girth that it needs. In many ways, both the first & the third sections do nothing to speak to the reader & rather seek to isolate them from the narrative at play.

At times, the secrecy behind an intentional intellect—think a philosopher without any lived experience to rely on—confounds this story into a heaping waste of time. The legal aspects are not explored in the first & third sections; the grainy details of the crime of homicide are not brought forward by any of the characters & rather, these sections poise the characters to make everything about their person, forgetting the societal implications of selfishness.

This is, as I have said many times in my writing, not meant to be cruel. Rather, the author allows the reader to deduce that the real storyteller is Jesse. He is the driver of the story, the hero, & victor throughout all the chaos caused by two people who were egotistically overly involved in themselves.

This truth made Jesse more appealing. The links between the deterioration of the brain & the body as well as the reality that horrors succeed without humanity being capable of concluding rationales is the crux of what is bulbous, overwhelming, & distressing both in life & in fiction. However, upon reflection, I wonder still about the reality of the case.

Jane’s cell phone was found in the dumpster at her office building. Jane was having an affair with her boss, Tom, & she knew that he had the business appraised for an obscene amount of money. By the end of the second section, we learn that Tom was accused of the crime but was acquitted. Why is that?

It will not come as a surprise to anyone who knows their way around the legal system that the processes are not always correct nor are they efficient. If Tom did not murder Jane, who did? How would Tom have known where Jane ran? How would Tom have known that Jane would have heard him calling to her in the alleyway? Had Tom met Aaron? Did Tom know that Aaron usually met Jane down the laneway from where she was murdered? Had he accounted for the fact she might not be alone or that other people were awake during this hour of the morning?

There are so many variables that could & should be analyzed before concluding that the murder was committed by Tom. What is apparent & dull is that the justice system did not ask any of these questions.

In the state of New York, the Double Jeopardy, also known as the Fifth Amendment, prevents a person who has been acquitted of a crime from being tried again for the same crime. Therefore, Tom is a free man. I reflect on this fact because the logistics do not make sense to me. None of the men regarded as possible suspects in Jane’s murder were approached with dedicated caution. Jesse came across the evidence of Jane’s affair with Tom at random. Why was he not being properly investigated from the start?

Certainly, my questions are somewhat annoying because they will bring the reader no clarity. Though multiple characters claim that Jane’s schedule is meticulous, a murder in the morning is too risky to be well-planned. One can easily assume that Jane was not running in the dark of 4:00 AM but rather closer to 6:00 or 7:00 AM given the number of people out & about. This speaks to the personality trait at play as we know for a fact that Jane walked around the city alone at night between restaurants & bars. What I seek to highlight with these questions is not that the irresolution of her murder is flawed but that the story is not about the crime.

The third part of the book drives home my point as Jeremy is introduced via his own experiences as he interviews for a podcast. The desolate & lovely gore of the story is sadly lost entirely in the third part.

Perhaps the author sought to allow the vanquished man to hold his court & share his truth. In some ways, allowing Jeremy the chance to speak to his experiences as the accused feels just; his life will forever be altered by the suspicion that lingered on the cellphone tower. Yet, if one looks back to the perusal through the logistics of the murder, one is left wondering (again) whether the judicial bodies did any work in this case, at all.

Jeremy, like Jane, held a meticulous schedule & visited similar places, over & over again. The suspicion that he might have been responsible for Jane’s murder arises simply because his cellphone pinged off a tower near the scene of the crime. Of course, reading Jeremy’s section does nothing to incite confidence in his character; rather he reads as a very tedious liar but, I digress.

If one were to properly seek to understand the case against Jeremy, one would be left exasperated. Perhaps the author sought to include this final section to encourage the ambiguous ending; maybe, Jeremy did murder Jane. This leaves me asking what the point of the story is, if, in fact, the driving force is the men who do very little of anything worth reading throughout the entire story.

From a neutral point, one can accept that it is kind to allow Jeremy to close off the story. However, this story is not about him so the narrative feels as though has lost its essence. Is this the point of the book? Are readers meant to conclude that a woman’s truth is lost as a consequence of a man’s presence/involvement? I am not convinced that this is the moral of the story. Rather, I feel quite comfortable in concluding that the author was simply writing to write; the final section shows a flexed finger as Montague quotes great writers whose word use reinforces the burden of existence whereas her book simply showcases the lost causes that exist in between rumbling subway stations.

The dialogue between Jeremy & the podcast host did not insight knowledge into the story, nor did it create space for reflecting on what the story was actually about. Perhaps, because I was not a fan of who Jeremy was; after sections of blabbering about being a writer with talent & time; I found myself wishing for the book to end so that I was relieved of the boredom that accumulated around the third section.

Truthfully, had his character been set up as a man of men, a person with flaws but the ability to not be chauvinistic & rather daft, I might not have felt as I did. Unfortunately, looming in the centre of the cream egg was mould & I did not see the purpose in writing pages about a man who made clear who he was in each section of the book.

Ultimately, this is a good book & one I would recommend to other readers. I long to meet Jesse again & I hope that the sorrow of his life is healed. He was not a perfect person but he was a person in all his entirety, making him a man I grew eager to know.

Just as I have chosen a favourite section, other readers will meet the parts of the story they deem valuable & agreeable. One is left wondering if the purpose of transcribing human horror is lost on the three subcategories of readers who will approach this book as I have & then also, in completely different ways.

The burden of grief lays itself raw to the reader in the failed investigations & cruel characters that once appeared as best friends. The essence of a person is never quite lost as we live inside the story & reality that exists in the brains of others. Jane, a woman who was quiet & ill, was also mean & uninterested, while simultaneously being catastrophically numb to life, she sought out its warmth & excitement in any place she could.

In just such a way, may the reader find that each of the characters is more than they appear yet, not a lie of who they hope to be. Much of the burden of loss exists because the imagery we hold is no longer visible to us until we become one with the illusion that shelters our person from days that continue to move forward without the comfort of those who are no more.

Thank you to NetGalley, Mulholland Books, & Eugenie Montague for the free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!