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Samantha's Reviews > The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
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Am I supposed to feel bad for Tom? I don't. He reports that he murdered a farmer, children, and raped a woman in a village in Vietnam to "cope" with the loss of his platoon. I don't understand why he was never criminally charged for this? Being traumatized doesn't give you free reign to do whatever you want. The author even seems to blow it off by saying something like, "I understand why this happened. Men have been getting revenge like this since Homer's time".
Now, Tom is actually parading around as a lawyer in the United States. I guess if you kill and rape in another country it gets forgiven? Are their lives worth less than American lives?
The author even brings up a certain case Tom got very excited about being involved in; finally "felt alive". He was defending a murderer, and he won. I'm not sure how the author missed the fact that in Tom's brain he was actually defending himself in a desperate attempt to justify his actions in Vietnam. I'm also not sure how the author seems to miss the fact that he seems to be empathizing with a very problematic, asshole, rapist, homicidal combat veteran in an attempt to become closer to his own father's memory.
Hardly a mention of Tom's wife, who is seemingly unawares that she is married to a man who committed these atrocities. There is not a serious consideration for the safety of her or their children, despite the fact that Tom is "prone to violent outbursts".
I'm quite upset over this portion of the book and the lack of empathy shown by the author towards Tom's victims. He even mentions Tom and his friend chasing around "Vietnamese bar girls" in a weird "boys will be boys" way, blatantly ignoring the trauma that led those women to that situation to begin with. Oh, and again the fact that Tom had a significant other at home during that "good fun".
This isn't worth my time to finish. It borders on misogyny and is very tone deaf. I'm actually pretty disgusted by it. People like Tom are the main cause of all of this bullshit in the first place.
Shelving.
Now, Tom is actually parading around as a lawyer in the United States. I guess if you kill and rape in another country it gets forgiven? Are their lives worth less than American lives?
The author even brings up a certain case Tom got very excited about being involved in; finally "felt alive". He was defending a murderer, and he won. I'm not sure how the author missed the fact that in Tom's brain he was actually defending himself in a desperate attempt to justify his actions in Vietnam. I'm also not sure how the author seems to miss the fact that he seems to be empathizing with a very problematic, asshole, rapist, homicidal combat veteran in an attempt to become closer to his own father's memory.
Hardly a mention of Tom's wife, who is seemingly unawares that she is married to a man who committed these atrocities. There is not a serious consideration for the safety of her or their children, despite the fact that Tom is "prone to violent outbursts".
I'm quite upset over this portion of the book and the lack of empathy shown by the author towards Tom's victims. He even mentions Tom and his friend chasing around "Vietnamese bar girls" in a weird "boys will be boys" way, blatantly ignoring the trauma that led those women to that situation to begin with. Oh, and again the fact that Tom had a significant other at home during that "good fun".
This isn't worth my time to finish. It borders on misogyny and is very tone deaf. I'm actually pretty disgusted by it. People like Tom are the main cause of all of this bullshit in the first place.
Shelving.
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Reading Progress
February 4, 2021
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Started Reading
February 4, 2021
– Shelved
February 4, 2021
– Shelved as:
too-horrible-to-finish
February 4, 2021
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Finished Reading
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Adakhc
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Apr 17, 2021 04:50PM
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Perfect review, and you couldn’t have concluded it any better.
I think you may not understand the role of a therapist. It’s not his job to say what is right or wrong but to help the person in front of them heal. While I agree that he is not super thoughtful with many of the examples in this book, he’s correct in how he views his role in that scenario. If we actually knew how to deal with the trauma we endure, we wouldn’t have to cope in such terrible ways.
Wow, thanks for the review. I was going to buy this, but now I'm taking it off my "to-read" shelf. It sounds disgusting.
I was going to read this,I can't count the times I've heard this book mentioned or spoken about in a positive way. But seriously after reading this review, this has ticked me off, ppl use abuse or trauma as a way if justifying inflicting pain on others. What crp. This totally dissolves a killer for killing. Like saying, oh so you had trauma as a child, well that killing is understandable. ERRRRR NOOOOO.
Let's take the stats of how many abused children, actually exist in today's world. I'm taking server s/abused children over a long period of time.
Then let's calculate the amount of them that go around bumbing ppl off.
Tom is the typical the abused becomes the abuser. How dare this gets portrayed in this manor and used as excuse.
Coming from a long term s/abused person, all I have ever done is feel others ppl pain and help ppl at the detriment to myself. I kept silent for ever, when I did speak about it my family turned against me, protected the abuser and abused me the victim even more. They all knew about my abuse from their father, as Soon as I spoke about it, my life went down hill, their mental cruelty to me sent my life in a dwn ward spiral. Now I'm homeless. I'm a surviver tho, but yet don't feel I need to go and murder someone to feel better.
This is book shouldn't be recommended as it's an archaic way for ppl who inflict pain on others to use trauma as an excuse, as a get out of jail free card.
PLAIN AND SIMPLE WE ALL KNOW WRONG FROM RIGHT.
I feel this does more harm to ppl who don't murder others, yet have so much trauma and yet have struggled. I don't feel there will be any help in my life time, as it's been proven server childhood trauma shortens the life by up to 20 yrs. I don't want to suffer any more.
Where gyn friendly tom when you need him. At least he can put another killing dwn to his trauma.
SICKENING
People like Tom need help; otherwise, they will keep hurting other people. They won't get empathy, at least from me. But the role of a therapist is not to be a lawyer or a judge and send him to jail. It is like asking a doctor to let someone die... but even worse.
Nothing can justify what Tom did in Vietnam. Hopefully, the people hurt by him can receive all the support they need to thrive. But, the perpetrator could continue on it if they don't seek help too.
Best review. I couldn't agree more.
You should not be a therapist, but that doesn't make this a bad book, lol
I just started the book and I was thinking the same
I wish I’d read more reviews like this before I bought the book but I’m at least very glad I did before I read the book. I can only imagine how triggering that would have been. You saved me a lot of pain 💜
The person in question obviously had severe mental problems. This does not condone his actions. The author is trying to help people with severe mental problems and trauma. He is not there to judge, he is there to help and if you read the rest of the book you can see that he does indeed help individuals from many walks of life. Just because you don't like what one person in the book did, does not mean you have to give the book a poor review. I found it a fascinating insight into how many people carry trauma in society, how this plays out and why we aren't doing enough to help them and how they can be helped.
It doesn't just border on misogynistic, it IS misogynistic.
Interesting how all of the people opposed to your review are men presenting lol
The way things are going, in a few years the institutes of psychiatry and psychology will resemble an asylum run by inmates.A psychologist‘s job is not to judge, and he does not have power to lock someone away. His job is to break the cycle of traumatisation, of victims becoming perpetrators creating victims. Tom is a link in this chain of abuse, and intervening there is one of the possibilities we have at breaking that chain. To do so, we need to be able to understand - not condone, but understand - the perpetrators.
The author is a psychologist talking from his experience. He has worked with Tom and can only talk about Tom and his work with him. He cannot talk about the experiences of the unnamed victims, doing so would be fiction and serve no purpose in the context of this book. His job is not to give moral guidance to the reader (we already know murder and rape is bad), and one of the major tenets of western psychology is that the practitioner should never judge.
This is a book written by a psychologist for an audience of psychologists as well as interested laymen. It is not meant to be a self help book or a guide on how to treat your own ailments. It has also not been written to help win arguments, push a political/social agenda or enhance victim cred. That should’ve been communicated more clearly.
I don’t personally feel that the tone of the book was that of support for Tom and being fine with what he did. To me, this seemed like information presented on Tom and what he ended up discovering about him related to his war trauma. I feel like the author wanted to present all the facts giving understanding to what motivated people to do horrible things by these examples and also sharing their inability to have close relationships in their family due to the shame they feel over the things done while triggered in the initial trauma. He goes on to give other peoples stories and testimonies of trauma which doesn’t appear to hold any bias between man or woman. This is simply presenting information for better understanding of trauma and it’s effects and methods of treatments.
this made me rage. thank you for talking about this <3
I do not understand this criticism at all. He’s a doctor and his job is treating the patient. What is he supposed to do? He can either help this man and help reduce the suffering he is experiencing and causing those around him, or… what? Tell him he’s a terrible person and refuse to treat him? He’s well aware of that, hence the therapy. If more bad people sought therapy, the world would be a much better place and these cycles of abuse would be broken. Attacking the authors patient for seeking help, and attacking the author for doing his job and treating his patient, is not a valid criticism of this book whatsoever.
You’re forgetting that those are also mid 20th century. Times were different and the author may not want to mention their biases regardless. This isnt a political book. Added, you wouldnt want to be judged in the therapy seat, that is unethical. You are there to cure people not to cause more issues for the individual no matter who they are. As the author mentioned, people are complex, we dont understand the brain and how it fully works, but what we do know is that humans are violent creatures but we also have the capacity for complex means of social order and control.
Understanding why horrible things happen, doesn't mean accepting or approving that they happen. Or did I miss something..?
Psychiatrists aren’t there to judge what people have done. They are there to resolve peoples’ mental health difficulties and support recovery. Not at one point does the author condone what his patients have done, but is pointing out how trauma leads to problematic behaviours and how to break those cycles. The author is discussing the cause, effect, and recovery of trauma..not blaming and judging and criticising those he’s supposed to be treating. How you feel about the perpetrators of rape mentioned shouldn’t distort how important and groundbreaking this man’s research is into preventing these issues from continuing..
where did the author say we supposed to feel bad about tom???
If you are blessed to not be exposed to the horrors of war and the reactive responses to that then a dash of empathy maybe therapeutic for you. Imagine being in front of a death camp (pick any in any war) seeing the absolute loss of humanity and tell me that reciprocating violence is not on the menu. You missed the point if you want these people to get your version of justice. It seems to simply be vengeance which is not unlike the veteran's. And I understand your bias being female.
"People like Tom are the main cause of all of this bullshit in the first place." 1000% right
I didn’t take it as that we are suppose to feel sorry for Tom but instead we are meant to see the connection between those who are abused who go on to abuse others. It’s a vicious cycle. Similar to how a child who is victim of physical abuse from their caregivers, may go on to do the same thing to their own child. It is important to recognize this pattern.
