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Thomas's Reviews > Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
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Thomas's review
bookshelves: nonfiction, own-physical, psychology, favorites, five-stars
Aug 25, 2018
bookshelves: nonfiction, own-physical, psychology, favorites, five-stars
Hands down one of the best Psychology books I have ever read. I love this book so, so much. As anyone who has read my blog knows, I grew up with pretty awful (i.e., abusive) parents, so this book validated my experiences in such a profound way. I appreciate how Lindsey Gibson honors the emotional experience of growing up with an emotionally immature parent through her immense empathy and compassion. She makes space for the suffering and the painful yet necessary transformation of a helpless child to a self-aware adult. She writes like a warm therapist or friend who stands by your side, as opposed to a cold or detached professional. Throughout the book, she provides a ton of important research-based information too, like the four types of emotionally immature parents and various findings about attachment patterns.
I most loved how Gibson provides specific, tangible strategies for improving your ability to handle difficult emotions as well as techniques to develop healthy, reciprocal relationships. I believe that everyone could benefit from reading these sections - and this book as a whole - as Gibson's insights apply to handling all emotionally immature people, not just parents. For example, she provides a thorough list of traits and behaviors of emotionally mature people at the end of the book that amazed me with its accuracy and understanding of humans.
Ten out of five stars to this gem. I know I will come back to it both for my personal life and for my work as a mental health professional.
I most loved how Gibson provides specific, tangible strategies for improving your ability to handle difficult emotions as well as techniques to develop healthy, reciprocal relationships. I believe that everyone could benefit from reading these sections - and this book as a whole - as Gibson's insights apply to handling all emotionally immature people, not just parents. For example, she provides a thorough list of traits and behaviors of emotionally mature people at the end of the book that amazed me with its accuracy and understanding of humans.
Ten out of five stars to this gem. I know I will come back to it both for my personal life and for my work as a mental health professional.
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Reading Progress
October 5, 2017
– Shelved
August 23, 2018
–
Started Reading
August 25, 2018
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Finished Reading
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Aug 25, 2018 11:29PM
Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this book. I'll read it after finishing Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters. I would recommend you Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving because it deals with the consequences of growing up in abusive/neglectful family systems (that leads the person to engage into toxic relationships in adulthood), and amazing real steps about how to overcome them. It was a game changer for me.
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Sounds like a really good book! Thanks Thomas, I'll try to get hold of a copy.
Yesss, I'm so glad you found this book as profound and insightful as I did. <3
This sounds like a really good book! I feel like this is a book I need to read. Thank you for your thoughtful review
Great review Thomas :) I‘m glad this book helped you. I‘m going to read it as well in the future.
Nina wrote: "Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this book. I'll read it after finishing Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters. I would recommend you [book:Complex PTSD: From ..."Thanks so much for your book recommendations Nina! Adding them all to my list now. :)
Vicky wrote: "Sounds like a really good book! Thanks Thomas, I'll try to get hold of a copy."
It is a really good book! Thank you for your bookish support and connection.
Bri wrote: "Yesss, I'm so glad you found this book as profound and insightful as I did. <3"
Thank you so much for your wonderful recommendation, you have fab book taste. :)
Salma wrote: "This sounds like a really good book! I feel like this is a book I need to read. Thank you for your thoughtful review"
It is a really good book, imo! Hope you find it meaningful if/when you read it. :)
Sabrina wrote: "Great review Thomas :) I‘m glad this book helped you. I‘m going to read it as well in the future."
Thanks so much Sabrina! Hope you enjoy it if/when you read it. :)
Maitê wrote: "I've been looking for a book like this and your opinion is pretty much gold so I'll give it a read."Awwww thank you for calling my opinion gold, I appreciate it! Hope you enjoy it if/when you get to it. :)
||Swaroop|| wrote: "Beautiful review, Thomas!"
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your consistent support of my reviews. :)
I read this last year (pre-GR) and had a very similar response as you.It actually took me by surprise with how on-point it was, and how skilfully it was handled. I also really appreciated that she used the term 'Emotionally Immature', rather than terms like 'narcissist', 'borderline', or any number of similar personality disorder labels, as it somehow took it beyond the static of speculative diagnosis and into the core issue underlying it all.
I'm so glad you reviewed this book because I just read it and felt so validated by the whole thing. Thank you!
Sj wrote: "I read this last year (pre-GR) and had a very similar response as you.It actually took me by surprise with how on-point it was, and how skilfully it was handled. I also really appreciated that sh..."
Glad to hear we had a similar response, and yes, I love how skillfully handled it was. And I agree that the use of the term emotionally immature was great. The topic of diagnosis merits its own huge comment or post or book, but yes, I like how she focused on the underlying characteristic that could then manifest as any number of diagnoses. So appreciative of your thoughtful comment and perspective. :)
Megan wrote: "I'm so glad you reviewed this book because I just read it and felt so validated by the whole thing. Thank you!"
Oh I'm so glad you read it and felt so validated Megan, I felt similarly! Yay for the power of books like these. Hope your healing and growth and all else is going well. :)
Great review; I’m looking for some specific types of books on this subject and found your review incredibly helpful. Keep on the good reviewing!!! Going to pick this book up now.
Hope you find it meaningful if/when you read it Cynthia! Thank you for your encouragement about my reviews and would love to hear if you read any other particularly good books on this topic.
I'm currently reading this. The intro chapter alone had me speechless with how accurately it captures my experience as an adult who grew up with parents who were emotionally distant. Sheesh.
Yes, it can be so stunning when a book or anything reflects your own lived experience to you. I hope reading the rest of the book is meaningful and goes well for you, Tramaine. :)
This book sounds as if it would be an excellent companion volume to "Drama of the Gifted Child," which I have read several times. It really hit the mark. The parents in the context of Gibson's book remind me of my late in-laws. I have seen their negative impact on both my wife and her two sisters. That may be good enough reason to read this book, as well.
I think I was fortunate to have good parents (or at least I think so). Would this book still worth reading? Would I still be able to relate with what's written? I'm trying to find ways to affirm myself on why should I spend time on this book. Thanks in advance!
Thomas, I was wondering about this book, and your detailed review has sold it to me. Thank you :)
As someone who feels lonely at home at really have emotionally immature parents, I can relate to this a lot, I’m currently still reading and it’s gives off 4-5 stars vibes, it’s so good! ( well if you can relate to the book that is.)
Hi all. I was wondering if this book provides any help on how to mend a relationship with a parent? I have a mother that at times is emotionally immature and it’s difficult to connect with her in those times. But I don’t want this book to only point out all the ways my mother is flawed; I’m also flawed in ways, we all are. My goal would be to look for ways to work with her difficulties. I’m just tired of cutting people of emotionally and or physically, when they become difficult. This is also not healthy, obviously.
Thank you in advance.
What is your blog? I'm interested. I have your parents.
I’m touched by your review and what you shared about your childhood. I wish you continued healing and thriving!
I'm sorry you had such unhappy experiences as a child, Thomas. It's great that you've made such progress in your life and possibly you will be able to understand and help others because of this. I wish you the best in your life and career.
