Marvin Quotes

“Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," said Marvin.
"And what happened?" pressed Ford.
"It committed suicide," said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“The first ten million years were the worst," said Marvin, "and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Having solved all the major mathematical, physical, chemical, biological, sociological, philosophical, etymological, meteorological and psychological problems of the Universe except for his own, three times over, [Marvin] was severely stuck for something to do, and had taken up composing short dolorous ditties of no tone, or indeed tune. The latest one was a lullaby.
Marvin droned,
Now the world has gone to bed,
Darkness won't engulf my head,
I can see in infrared,
How I hate the night.
He paused to gather the artistic and emotional strength to tackle the next verse.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
Try to count electric sheep,
Sweet dream wishes you can keep,
How I hate the night.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“Sorry, did I say something wrong?" said Marvin, dragging himself on regardless. "Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God I'm so depressed. Here's another one of those self-satisfied doors. Life! Don't talk to me about life.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Don't blame you," said Marvin and counted five hundred and ninety-seven thousand million sheep before falling asleep again a second later.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Marvin was humming ironically because he hated humans so much.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Why should I want to make anything up? Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent any more of it.”
― Douglas Adams

“Marvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning. "...and then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side..."
"No?" said Arthur grimly as he walked along beside him. "Really?"
"Oh yes," said Marvin, "I mean I've asked for them to be replaced but no one ever listens."
"I can imagine.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“It's part of the shape of the Universe. I only have to talk to somebody and they begin to hate me.”
― Douglas Adams

“Benim mutluluk kapasitemi bir kibrit kutusuna sığdırabilirsin. Hem de içindeki kibritleri bile çıkarmadan.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“This is Marvin," he says. "He eats everything and yells like a distressed baby to get attention. I'm goat-sitting him this summer.”
― Chelsea Fine, Best Kind of Broken

“Life! Don't talk to me about life!”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Funny", he intoned funerally, "how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy: A Trilogy in Five Parts

“I mounted the stairs to my pavilion and sank onto Hlidskjalf, the magic throne from which I can peer into the Nine Worlds. The seat cradled my posterior with its ermine-lined softness. I took a few deep breaths to focus my concentration, then turned to the worlds beyond.
I usually begin with a cursory look-see of my own realm, Asgard, then circle through the remaining eight: Midgard, realm of the humans; the elf kingdom of Alfheim; Vanaheim, the Vanir gods’ domain; Jotunheim, land of the giants; Niflheim, the world of ice, fog, and mist; Helheim, realm of the dishonorable dead; Nidavellir, the gloomy world of the dwarves; and Muspellheim, home of the fire giants.
This time, I didn’t make it past Asgard. Because goats.
Specifically, Thor’s goats, Marvin and Otis. They were on the Bifrost, the radioactive Rainbow Bridge that connects Asgard to Midgard, wearing footy pajamas. But there was no sign of Thor, which was odd. He usually kept Marvin and Otis close. He killed and ate them every day, and they came back to life the next morning.
More disturbing was Heimdall, guardian of the Bifrost. He was hopping around on all fours like a deranged lunatic. “So here’s what I want you guys to do,” he said to Otis and Marvin between hops. “Cavort. Frolic. Frisk about. Okay?”
I parted the clouds. “Heimdall! What the Helheim is going on down there?”
“Oh, hey, Odin!” Heimdall’s helium-squeaky voice set my teeth on edge. He waved his phablet at me. “I’m making a cute baby goat video as my Snapchat story. Cute baby goat videos are huge in Midgard. Huge!” He spread his hands out wide to demonstrate.
“I’m not a baby!” Marvin snapped.
“I’m cute?” Otis wondered.
“Put that phablet away and return to your duties at once!”
According to prophecy, giants will one day storm across the Bifrost, a signal that Ragnarok is upon us. Heimdall’s job is to sound the alarm on his horn, Gjallar—a job he would not be able to perform if he were making Snapchat stories.
“Can I finish my cute baby goat video first?” Heimdall pleaded.
“No.”
“Aw.” He turned to Otis and Marvin. “I guess that’s a wrap, guys.”
“Finally,” Marvin said. “I’m going for a graze.” He hopped off the bridge and plummeted to almost certain death and next-day resurrection. Otis sighed something about the grass being greener on the other side, then jumped after him.
“Heimdall,” I said tightly, “need I remind you what could happen if even one jotun snuck into Asgard?”
Heimdall hung his head. “Apologetic face emoji.”
I sighed. “Yes, all right.”
― Rick Riordan, 9 From the Nine Worlds

“For their was no finer family than the one you had chosen yourself.”
― M.A. Kuzniar, Upon a Frosted Star

“You know, birds always find their way home, no matter the distance. Perhaps you will, too.”
― M.A. Kuzniar, Upon a Frosted Star