Jesse Q. Sutanto > Quotes

“Meddy, how can you say that? Your aunties coming over, so late at night, coming to help us get rid of body, and we don’t even offer them any food? How can? Oh, we have dragon fruit, good, good.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties

“I’m basically driven by a mixture of caffeine and familial guilt.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties

“You're not a mess. You just kill by accident only. Bad luck. Can happen to anyone.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties

“People always say that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life, but honestly, people should try solving murders more often.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

“I look at the ceiling. Pretty sure that when Glad was planning their marketing campaign, they didn’t think their target market would be a bunch of middle-aged Chinese women arguing about how to best dispose of a body.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties

“Maybe you do something slightly bad, so what? Now you learn from it. You have a better judgment now. Better morals, because you learn from your personal mistake. This what life is about, Riki. No one is perfect, making right decisions all the time. Only those who are so privileged can make right decision all the time. The rest of us, we have to struggle, keep afloat. Sometimes we do things we are not proud of. But now you know where your lines are. You are good boy, Riki. You have good heart. That is all that matters.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

“I hear about this kind of Internet scam before. Is called goldfish.” “Catfish,” I say. “No, I’m sure is call goldfish. Because pretend got gold, but actually just a fish.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties

“My eyes fill with tears. All these years, I have never seen it that way, but Ma’s right. I did grow up with four mothers, and it really has been amazing. There’s been so much love in my life that I took for granted.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties

“If only every bad thing in life could be removed just by mopping it away.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

“You don't describe your job like that," Vera scolds. "Is a small job, hah! Can you see men saying that? No, men will talk it up with bullshit, that is why they get even bigger job next time. There is no such thing as 'small job.' And don't say in that silly tone, oh so apologetic, I am just silly woman having a small job. No!" Her index finger shoots up and points at Julia's face like a sword. "You go and do this job proudly.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

“I told you to buy Glad brand. Haven’t you seen their ads? Glad bags will hold his cut-up body just fine, no leaks!”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties

“Don’t leave your big day to chance, leave it to the Chans!”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties

“Or maybe the business is dealing coke. Or human trafficking. Wow, I have a low opinion of my family.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties

“The woman’s eyebrows are statement brows, and the statement is: I am fucking fabulous and don’t you forget it.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

“Generations of Chinese mothers have perfected the art of sniffing out guilt, and Vera can practically see waves of guilt churning out of the young people gathered before her.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

“Destiny, Vera thinks, is something to be hunted down and grabbed tightly with both hands and shaken until it gives her exactly what she wants.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong's Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

“In her experience, it’s best to nod and agree with what people say before doing exactly what you wanted from the very beginning.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

“Some of the aunties in Dial A for Aunties speak the sort of broken English that my parents’ generation does. Their grasp of the English language is not a reflection of their intelligence, but a reflection of the sacrifice that they have made for us. They are, in essence, trilingual, and I am so proud of this heritage.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties

“They band together and reduce us to kids having a tantrum, dismissing our words so we can’t pierce their armor. Part of me wants to kick crazily at the floor and scream until they listen, but of course that’ll only confirm their belief that I’m nothing more than a silly child.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties

“Yes, you right, more respectful". She pats me on the cheek. "I raise you so well".

Hysteria rises from deep in my stomach and I have to swallow it. Trust Ma to take pride in my etiquette when I've just shown her my date, whom I've killed, in the trunk of my car.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties

“Nothing personal, Tilly,” Vera says, “is just that you a very ugly baby.” “Yep, nothing personal about that, Ma.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

“I am mother too. Actually, I am Chinese mother. You can’t get better than that. We raise the best children in the world, you just look at any hospital, all the surgeon are Chinese.” Vera beams with pride, as though she has personally been responsible for all the surgeons in every hospital.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

“Yay, global warming,” I cheer weakly. Bad for the environment, good for killers.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties

“Chinese family meals aren’t complete without everyone serving food to everyone else, because doing so shows love and respect, which means we all need to do it in the most attention-seeking way possible.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties

“Lord help me, we are literally talking about fridging the dude.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties

“Who drugged you?” Sheriff McConnell roars. “I mean, I don’t know. I’d like to know, that was some good stuff—er, I mean, yeah, that was really uncool, drugging us like that,”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties

“She takes a quick moment to send a text to her son, reminding him that he’s sleeping his life away and should have been up and at it before her. He is, after all, a young man with a whole world to conquer. Late mornings, Vera believes, are only for toddlers and Europeans.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

“Vera ignores him. She’s gotten very good at ignoring people over the years, especially when they say things like “You can’t do that” or “You’re not supposed to do that.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers

“What? What is it?” Big Aunt says. “He sound like very nice boy, offer to cook eggplant for you.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties

“How do I describe the particular shade of purple? It’s as if flamingo pink and electric blue had a baby and then that baby snorted a line of coke and proceeded to punch you in the face.”
― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Four Aunties and a Wedding