MAUREEN CALLAHAN: Jill Biden would never admit it, but she and Melania Trump are more similar than you'd think. And in a First Lady face-off, there's only one Valentino-clad victor
Dr. Jill Biden may have the Vogue cover – but Melania Trump just did her one better.
Prior to hosting a hugely successful Republican fundraiser on Monday night — bringing in $1.4 million — Melania strode through Manhattan in a sleeveless, figure-hugging red Valentino sheath and six-inch Louboutin heels.
She was alone. But she looked undeniably happy.
For a woman who communicates primarily through clothing, Melania projected many things at once: Strength, defiance, fiery determination, and an allegiance to her husband's candidacy.
This, despite not having been seen with the former president since their son, Barron, graduated from high school in May.
Jill, meanwhile, has been busy literally holding up her elderly husband, whispering commands in his ear, and, most indelibly, leading him off that CNN debate stage after his disastrous performance — only to drag him out to a campaign rally later that same night, speaking to him pitiably.
Dr. Jill Biden may have the Vogue cover, but Melania Trump just did her one better.
Jill has been busy literally holding up her elderly husband, whispering commands in his ear, and, most indelibly, leading him off that CNN debate stage after his disastrous performance
'Joe, you did such a great job!' she condescendingly enthused. 'You answered every question!'
Melania, by all accounts, never wanted to be First Lady. In fact, she reportedly cried the night of the 2020 election, presuming — along with most of the media and nearly every pollster — that her husband would never win.
Perhaps that's her superpower: Melania doesn't seem to care about the presidency.
She gives the impression of a woman who knows exactly the kind of man she married, who will not be used as a political prop, and who doesn't consider fame a source of oxygen.
Jill, on the other hand, has become the Dems' new Norma Desmond. She refuses to gracefully exit stage left, grasping desperately to her husband's power and all it affords her.
If she weren't so unlikable, so callously engaged in what looks increasingly like elder abuse — even uber-liberal filmmaker Michael Moore said as much this week — one could almost feel sorry for her.
For what will Dr. Jill do when her husband is no longer president? She has little to offer, no obvious reinvention or second act. The memoir will doubtless be vague, high-gloss and without teeth.
So it'll be back to community college for our First Lady, who recently told Vogue that she doesn't assign books to her English and writing students, only articles. Cheaper and easier, she explains.
What a metaphor for the Biden White House.
And that's assuming she has the time to teach. Eldercare is expensive, and the Bidens, as we recently learned, are mortgaged to the hilt. Hunter has mounting legal bills.
Who thinks Jill will be content tending to a declining husband — eight years her senior, but seeming so much older — and living out her days in obscurity, the matriarch to a shameless, sordid stepson and deeply troubled daughter?
And what of her friends? Those A-list stars now fleeing in disgust – the Clooneys, Michael Douglas, Rob Reiner, Stephen King – may never return. Same with the billionaire and millionaire donors.
Now comes word that the Obamas are turning. A scathing report Thursday, by Politico, suggested George Clooney sought approval from good pal Barack about his incipient New York Times op-ed, published Wednesday and calling for Biden to step aside.
Barack, remember, is no die-hard fan. 'Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f*** things up', he memorably said of his former Vice President in 2020.
This follows an Axios report last month claiming that Michelle Obama — by far the most popular, and perhaps most influential, Democrat — won't campaign for the Bidens because she is outraged over the family's treatment of her friend, Hunter's ex-wife Kathleen.
Melania, by all accounts, never wanted to be First Lady. In fact, she reportedly cried the night of the 2020 election, presuming, along with most of the media and nearly every pollster, that her husband would never win.
Jill, on the other hand, has become the Dems' new Norma Desmond. She refuses to gracefully exit stage left, grasping desperately to her husband's power and all it affords her.
All of the Biden family's 'weird s***', as Barack reportedly once called it, may no longer be tolerated.
So of course Jill's going to squeeze every last bit of power and celebrity out of being First Lady while she can.
The country's safety and security will just have to come a distant second for now — anything to stave off what will doubtless be a grim post-White House life.
Melania, meanwhile, has raised Barron – her only child – in near-total privacy and, to her credit, with hardly a whiff of scandal.
That said, she certainly made mistakes as First Lady.
That infamous 'I Really Don't Care, Do U?' jacket, worn while visiting a children's migrant detention center, was appalling – as was the hot pink pussy-bow blouse she wore to support her husband at a TV debate following the leak of his 'grab her by the p****' tape.
But she seems to have learned her lesson.
We've heard no complaints from Melania's camp over Anna Wintour icing her out of Vogue (unlike her GOP predecessors Nancy Reagan, Barbara Bush and Laura Bush, all regally styled and photographed).
Nor have there been public gripes about the incessant media mockery of her 24-year age gap with Donald, her Slovenian origin story, even her holiday decorations – while the press gave the Bidens a pass for excluding their little granddaughter, Navy Joan, from those Christmas stockings otherwise hung with care.
And Melania gets no credit for being that rarest of political wives: One who has deviated from the playbook.
Melania had not been seen with the former president since their son, Barron, graduated from high school in May.
Trump allegedly had his affair with Stormy Daniels just four months after Melania gave birth to Barron.
Hillary Clinton may have sat by Bill and aided in the so-called 'nuts-and-sluts' tarring of his other women, but Melania sat out Trump's recent trial and conviction over his hush-money payments to a porn star.
Trump allegedly had his affair with Stormy Daniels just four months after Melania gave birth to Barron.
Was she humiliated by this summer's court case? Of course. What woman wouldn't be?
But Melania is no one's victim.
Before joining Trump for his first term in D.C., she reportedly renegotiated her pre-nup.
She is also said to have signaled that if Donald wins in November, she will not be living in the White House.
For all their ostensible differences, it seems that Jill and Melania have more in common than not. Both are strong, formidable women who have sacrificed much of themselves for their husband's vaulting ambitions, and who serve — some say — as top advisors to their husbands.
No less an authority than former Attorney General Bill Barr called Melania 'elegant' and 'intelligent' in his 2022 memoir, writing that he 'always thought [she] was smarter than the President'.
But while Jill is unwittingly ushering in another Trump presidency, Melania seems rather unbothered.
For what will Dr. Jill do when her husband is no longer president? She has little to offer, no obvious reinvention or second act. The memoir will doubtless be vague, high-gloss and without teeth.
At 54 years old and a soon-to-be empty nester, one gets the impression that she'll spend the next four years her way: shopping, dining, and lounging poolside in Palm Beach.
Melania is something of a Rorschach test, so enigmatic that supporters and detractors can project onto her whatever they like.
What must Jill project onto her predecessor and likely successor? One senses she may find Melania — married to a wealthy, powerful man who affords her the freedom and independence she craves — quite enviable indeed.
Nor does Melania appear to need fame for attention or validation. We never see her holding court with celebrities or gloating on social media. There's a dignity in that.
Is her marriage partly transactional? No doubt. But as the saying goes: When you marry for money, you earn every penny.
Does anyone think Jill married Joe thinking he'd only be a low-level public servant his whole life?
Melania doesn't need to be First Lady; for Jill, the position has become her entire identity. How lonely, how terrifying, to now face life as a debtor's wife and a fallen ex-public servant who forgot the basic premise: It's the American people who hire and fire you, not the other way around.
Melania has no nickname; Jill is now 'Lady MacBiden'.
Jill's political obituary, if she doesn't make the only correct move soon, will surely cast her as the modern era's most craven First Lady.
Melania, on the other hand, may be remembered as the most underestimated.
