Shirtless man with gold chain takes TikTok by storm as he is hailed by fed-up voters as better alternative to Biden AND Trump
In the wake of President Joe Biden's calamitous debate performance, it seems a new presidential candidate has risen as an alternative to Biden and former President Donald Trump.
Bruce Mahnken III, who describes himself as a comedian and an artist, recorded himself shirtless wearing a gold chain as he recited his campaign slogan: 'I'm runnin' for s**t.'
With the song Yankee Doodle Dandy in the background, Mahnken stood in front of his truck and made his first bold proclamation.
'Vote for me, because I'm not f****ing 95 years old, and I still remember where I park my truck,' the long-haired man said in a TikTok video that's already racked up over 11 million views.
Among the 47,000 comments and counting on the viral video, one viewer said: 'Best candidate I've seen in decades.'
Another wrote: 'Bro u had me at not 95.'
Bruce Mahnken III jokingly listed a wide range of policies he'd pursue as president, including making congressmen work in fast food
Other comments echoed this long standing sentiment among Americans that the candidates are too old.
A majority of Americans have repeatedly answered polls saying they did not want a rematch between Trump and Biden in the 2024 election, with many claiming both were too old or mentally and physically unfit to serve.
Americans have soured on the current president to the point that only 38 percent of voters think Biden will be alive at the end of a second term.
Like most Americans, Mahnken is aware of this, making it all that much easier to crack jokes at the current state of our presidential politics.
His next campaign plank was delivered in front of a motorcycle, as he seeks to bring internet tough guys to task.
'Vote for me, and I'll make it a law that if you talk s**t on the internet, you have to fist fight in real life,' he said, punctuating his speech with a wry smirk.
Another law of his though might prompt quite a few resignations from congressional members.
Former President Donald Trump and President Joe Biden pictured at CNN's debate last Thursday. The headlines were dominated Biden's shaky performance, characterized by forgetfulness, a hoarse voice and frequent trouble communicating his ideas
'Vote for me and I'll make everybody that's in the f***ing Senate and Congress work in fast food for the next eight f***ing years,' he said.
Next, he tackles foreign policy, mirroring his earlier proposal to have people fighting on social media duke it out in real life.
'Vote for me, and if we got a problem with another country, I'll catch a fair one with their leader, and it'll be f***ing done with. No more wars,' he said.
All throughout the video, he was wearing a tie dye hat with OKIE on the front, suggesting that he may be from Oklahoma.
Even though Oklahoma may not be a swing state, one commenter suggested Mahnken liven up his candidacy by picking the 'Hawk Tuah' girl from TikTok stardom as his vice presidential candidate.
Haliey Welch became famous for an interview she did on June 19 in which she used the term 'Hawk Tuah' to describe a sexual act
Like any tried and true political ad, he ended it with a still image of himself saying, 'This message is approved by Captain Motherf***king Isosceles'
Mahnken also responded to people requesting he do things as president.
One person asked him if the US could have a 4 day weekend.
His response: 'We only workin' Thursday and 1/2 day Fridays.'
Another person requested he bring music videos back to MTV and create a TV channel dedicated to playing Star Wars 24/7.
'Sounds doable,' he replied.
Arguably the most important question he received in the comments was from someone asking what name they should write in on their ballot in order to vote for him.
He wrote back: 'Bruce Hampshire Mahnken III.'
Like any tried and true political ad, he ended it with a still image of himself saying, 'This message is approved by Captain Motherf***king Isosceles.'
