Yes, an acorn squash could probably knock someone out if it hit them on the head. And sometimes figuring out how to cut acorn squash is intimidating, because let's be honest, we have no idea what that shape even is. A rhombus? High school geometry never prepared us for this grooved, teardrop-shaped...thingy. But what makes the process even more difficult is hesitation. To cut a squash both safely and efficiently, you have to be confident. You need some coaching? Sharp knives. Full hearts. Can't lose. That's right. We're the coach Taylor of squash. Now let's get out there, team.
For stability, slice ¼" off the stem end and base of the squash. Stand it up on one of those cut ends and chop it in half, from top to bottom. This provides a solid base that won't slip and slide around your cutting board. We don't need any hands coming in contact with that knife of yours. Squash only, please.
Scoop out all of those seeds. You've spent years perfecting your jack-o-lantern game. It's time to put those skills to use. Any metal spoon will work perfectly for getting all that weird, wet, stringy business out of the center. To peel the squash, use a vegetable peeler—not a knife. It's better to dull a $4 tool than your best kitchen blade, and once again, much safer. That said, one of the beautiful things about acorn squash it that the peel is edible—and quite tasty, if you ask us. Unless our end goal is a silky smooth squash soup or puree of some kind, we're not going to bother peeling the thing.
From here, you're home free. If you want to pick up your knife again to slice or cube, go for it. Grab that box grater, if you havegrating on the mind. You can treat your your beautifully cut vegetable any damn way you please. You are now a squash master. You know how to cut acorn squash. Use your powers wisely.