There are a lot of ways to eat corn on the cob. There's the typewriter method (moving horizontally across the cob, then making a loud "DING" sound when you hit the end). Then there's the rolling pin technique (keeping your mouth in one spot while spinning the cob). And while we fully endorse all of those techniques, there's another corn-related matter that we're a lot less flexible about: how to cut corn off the cob properly.
Why does that even matter? We’re glad you asked. Because we love to 1) chop those sweet, juicy kernels off the cob to use in nachos, salads, pasta, and chilaquiles and 2) spread our kitchen knowledge to the good people of the internet (you). You don’t need a special hack to do this. You don’t need to stand your cob in a bundt pan or fix it between two bowls. Here’s the Basically-approved way to slice those delicious kernels off the cob:
Rest the tip of the cob on a cutting board, and tilt it up at a 45 degree angle, towards you. Run the knife down the top face of the corn, slicing off the kernels off of the top side, toward the board.
Now that you have a kernel-less side, place that flat on the cutting board, so the cob doesn’t roll around. Remove the kernels of the next three sides in the same way, bringing your knife down the cob lengthwise. That’s it. Seriously, you did it.
That may have seemed simple, and that’s because it is. People are always looking for some kind of ingenious hack when it comes to these kinds of things, but really, there’s only one thing that matters: The kernels come off the cob. And this method achieves just that, keeping the kernels in tidy planks and dirtying minimal dishes, all without kernels flying across your kitchen.
So now, after you’ve pulled off this maneuver and served some tasty corn-topped chilaquiles to the squad, don’t be surprised to be crowned with some corn-based nickname. The Cob Commander? The Kernel? Cobert Deniro? The Cobfather? Eh, leave the naming up to your friends. We don't know you like they do. We’re just here to give you the skills you need to earn it.