Welcome to Delicious or Distressing, where we rate recent food memes, videos, and other entertainment news. Last week we discussed Logan Paul’s caffeine-heavy energy drinks.
A trio of self-anointed authorities on global water-drinking habits have declared that Europeans “don’t believe in water.” On TikTok—the only reasonable forum for this debate—three American tourists videoed themselves guzzling giant bottles of water, visual evidence of their Europe-induced parched-ness. Commenters are divided on the matter; glad the girlies are hydrating, though.
Also this week, In-N-Out is banning employees at some locations from wearing masks, in order to “show their smiles,” de-emphasizing legitimate health concerns for its weird corporate agenda. On Tinder, a woman asked out on an ice cream date turned it down for being supposedly too juvenile for her 26-year-old self. May we never age out of ice cream. Lastly, Burger King’s Barbie-themed burger, available in Brazil right now, is apparently not very good.
Here’s what else is happening in food moments on the internet this week.
American tourists claim Europeans “don’t believe in water”
Unpasteurized cheese, free health care, constant minor dehydration. These are just some of the incredible things you'll experience traveling in Europe, at least according to a few American TikTokers abroad, who claimed that Europeans “don't believe in water.” Some European commenters seemed upset at the generalization, but others seemed genuinely confused. “Water is basically all we drink round here, but usually sparkling,” wrote one well-intentioned commenter. My personal theory is that these thirsty Americans aren’t used to walkable cities, and the increased activity is making them feel thirstier than they normally would, but that’s just one humble genius’s opinion. Regardless, I’m rating this news a thirsty, positively parched 2.7/5 distressing. —Sam Stone, staff writer
Burger King’s Barbie-themed burger is gross, apparently
This summer the Barbie campaign has threatened our communities and livelihoods with approximately 5984 pink-tinted products. I’ve seen so many Barbie ads that the word Barbie doesn’t look like a real word anymore. One of the latest among them: the Burger King Pink Burger, launched on menus in Brazil this month. “Hi Burger! Hi Barbie! Hi Burger,” reads the chipper product description on Burger King Brazil’s website. You know that famous sentence “Colorless green ideas sleep furiously” that’s supposed to make grammatical sense but bonkers regular sense? “Hi Burger! Hi Barbie! Hi Burger” has the same effect for me. As part of the BK Barbie Combo, you also can get the Pink Burger alongside Ken’s Potatoes and a Barbie Donut Shake. I’m losing my grip on reality, but I’m guessing Ken’s Potatoes are fries.
Apparently, the burger itself is grossing people out because it oozes a pink sauce reminiscent of last summer’s viral Pink Sauce, which we all should have recognized as the omen it was. Meanwhile, the product description calls the burger’s sauce “incredible” and “smoky.” At this point in Mattel’s world takeover, I feel like we should just try to embrace this burger and even eat it. Like, we are officially Barbie girls in a Barbie world by now. What have we got to lose except our trust in advertising copy and possibly our bowels? 2.1/5 distressing. —Karen Yuan, culture editor
In-N-Out bans employees from wearing masks in order to show “smiles”
Somehow, the legion of fans of mediocre (yes, mediocre) burger chain In-N-Out keeps getting surprised by the company’s questionable politics. The latest call to boycott: The California-based company is allegedly banning employees from wearing masks unless they have a doctor’s note citing a specific medical reason. The move was done to “emphasize the importance of customer service and the ability to show our associates’ smiles,” according to a memo. It is, of course, a ridiculous new mandate for the locations in five states, considering COVID remains a blanket concern. But y’all, this is not a surprise. It’s the same chain that opposed vaccine mandates and openly supports a political party with anti-LGBTQ policies. Boycotting a business is a time-honored tradition for consumers, but our brains have short memories and apparently will cave when faced with the appeal of a (worth repeating here) mediocre burger. Fortunately, there are some laws, like the ones in California and Oregon, that protect workers’ rights to wear a mask. In-N-Out locations in those states will not have this no-mask requirement. A 5/5 distressing for workers’ right to health. —Serena Dai, editorial director
A woman turns down a “bare minimum” ice cream date, sparking a debate
Do you like eating ice cream or do you hate joy? That’s the general question being debated under this viral post on the r/tinder subreddit. On July 11, a guy called Vance shared his melted dreams on the digital forum: Earlier, he’d proposed going for ice cream with a prospective date—there was a smiley face and everything—and was flat-out rejected. “I’m a 26 year old woman and a date like that sounds like the absolute bare minimum for me,” his virtual suitor responded, before signing off (in text message!!!) with a very WTF “best wishes.”
The commenters are mostly commiserating with Vance: “I would get ice cream w you (I am a dude tho but we can talk about dude stuff),” wrote one kind stranger. Naturally, others have made this about women’s rights, because we’re all very serious on Reddit. I literally had a brain freeze reading the exchange. I mean, who doesn’t want ice cream in this absolute hellfire of a summer? Not to mention, never in my life would I enjoy more than a lick of ice cream with someone I had never met in person. I want the room to bail fast as lightning if you order rum and raisin. At 26, this supposedly grown-ass person should know better. I just really hope Vance got to have his ice cream. That’s a 4.2/5 distressing for me, with exactly zero sprinkles on top. —Ali Francis, staff writer