Welcome to Delicious or Distressing, where we rate recent food memes, videos, and other decidedly unserious news. Last week we discussed the latest drink of the moment, Beaujolais Villages, the wine in The Last of Us.
This year’s Grammys, raucous as ever, provided plenty of fodder for a postmortem. A record-breaking Beyoncé was ultimately snubbed for the award show’s top prize in favor of Harry Styles (or,as he’s known in these parts, Olivia Wilde’s ex-boyfriend). Ben Affleck’s sour disposition spawned rumors that he was counting down the seconds until he could ditch and that he also potentially hates JLo. Yet my gaze lie elsewhere, upon the 125 seemingly untouched yet incredibly elaborate charcuterie boards that adorned attendees’ tables. We can only hope that the celebs noshed off-camera. Gouda to soothe your Grammy misgivings, Ben?
Also, if you’ve been yearning to try Eleven Madison Park’s soups in the comfort of your own kitchen, you’re in luck—if you’re ready to shell out a cool hundo for a set of three soup starters (and pouches of beans, black rice, and beluga lentils), that is. All power to you if so; I’ll be tuning into Pamela Anderson’s newest cooking show instead, outfitted with my new Panera purse specifically sized to fit a baguette.
Eleven Madison Park launches a Soup Box for $117
Since the pandemic started, Michelin-starred vegan restaurant Eleven Madison Park has expanded with “Eleven Madison Home”—for a watered-down version of the luxury restaurant for home. The newest addition: soup! Or rather, three soup starters, a pouch of heirloom beans, a pouch of black rice, and a pouch of beluga lentils for the low, low price of $117. Bonus number one: It costs less than the $365-per-person regular EMP meal. Bonus number two: If it’s a home box, surely there’s less likelihood of the process of meal assembly becoming a The Bear-style terror for the staff? Maybe fine dining enthusiasts can feel less guilty about engaging with EMP in this form since its allegations of food waste and labor issues? Maybe?! I do not know, but the restaurant does note that if you buy a Soup Box, some portion of the revenue “helps provide meals to New Yorkers experiencing food insecurity.” The downside…they’re providing meals in partnership with Rethink Food, a nonprofit that has faced its own recent allegations of staff mistreatment. That is what I call 5/5 distressing. —Serena Dai, editorial director
Pamela Anderson will star in a new cooking show
It’s the ’90's again! Everyone is doing thin eyebrows! The Fresh Prince of Bel Air is on TV! My parents are getting a divorce! Pamela Anderson is dominating news cycles! Okay, it's not actually the ’90's, but Pam Anderson is once again in the spotlight due to, in large part, her book and documentary, both of which were released on January 31. Now it's been announced that the Canadian star will also be starring in her own cooking show, titled Pamela's Cooking with Love, which will reportedly start filming this summer from her home in Vancouver Island. The show will focus on plant-based recipes that Anderson will prepare alongside guest chefs. "Pamela Anderson?" You might ask, eyebrows raised. "A cooking show?" Yes! And, in fact, this isn't the first time she's hosted a vegetable-focused cooking show—her first foray was in 2015, with a web series called The Sensual Vegan, though only one episode remains on YouTube. I, for one, love to see a queen keep winning, so I'm rating this news a vegetable-based, Canadian, 4.6/5 delicious. —Sam Stone, staff writer
Panera is selling a baguette bag
Sorry to my friend and colleague Sam Stone but it is actually the early aughts. At least in Panera-land. Timed to hit during New York Fashion Week, the brand recently dropped a lime green oblongular purse perfectly shaped for carrying its new Toasted Baguette—or, you know, a much more delicious sandwich. It’s a clear riff on Fendi’s Baguette bags, which first launched in 1997, were popularized during the 00s, and were also designed for carrying one’s daily bread. The main difference is that Fendi’s will set you back $4,200 and Panera’s BAGuette cost $39.50 (and comes with a gift card!).
There is no way in hell I would buy a Panera-branded bag, which is sold out anyway. I’m simply agnostic about its appeal and deeply exhausted by food brands leeching off the fashion industry to seem cool and relatable to the youths. Stay in your bread-paved lane, Panera. But, like Eater writer Jaya Saxena, I do dig the subliminal messaging here: Hot girls will be conjuring entire-ass hoagies from their purses. 2.7/5 delicious, with bonus points awarded for the pro-carb propaganda. —Ali Francis, staff writer
No one ate the gorgeous charcuterie boards at the Grammys
Actually gang, we’re in the 2020s—specifically, 2023. Even more specifically, it’s the week of the 2023 Grammy Awards. There were winners at the ceremony and there were losers, but less expectedly, there were massive, stunning plates of charcuterie that no one seemed interested in touching.
And sure, the Grammys are supposed to be about the music. But as a frequent dinner party haver and snack board enthusiast, I’m fixated on the charcuterie. From a food waste standpoint alone, it’s pretty horrifying, but I wonder—what could the organizers have done differently? Did they leave out a cheese knife so guests knew they were welcome to cut their own slices? Did they ask what kinds of treats the attendees would want to nibble on? Did they even stop to consider their sweet-savory balance? Cheese plates have rules, people! And also! Beyoncé was robbed! 3.9 distressing, America Has a (Food Waste) Problem. —Alma Avalle, digital production associate