This story is part of Junk Food, Redefined, our new collection of snack recommendations, recipes, and perspectives that celebrate an undervalued food group. Read all the stories here.
Sure, Trader Joe’s sells shrink-wrapped heads of broccoli, but this so-called “grocery store” is really a paradise of snacks. Next to the broccoli, notice the cutely packaged prerinsed and trimmed baby broccoli. That’s snack broccoli! You know you’re in professional snacking territory when even the produce is packaged as a snack. The most wonderful, joy-filled food group.
In honor of BA’s junk food package, I’ve toiled in the salty recesses of my memory to collect the absolute greatest-of-all-time Trader Joe’s snacks, based on my four years of experience tasting and reviewing near every damn thing sold at that store. (As a side note: I’ve been overthinking the term “junk food” ever since I wrote this piece on diets, and I don’t want to suggest you eat these snacks full of guilt in a dark corner of your house. Snacks are snacks. You eat them for fun. You’re allowed to do that!) Anyway, chill out and open a bag of Saddle Potato Crisps and see if you agree on my list below. If you don’t, eat your way through that grocery store and make your own list!
Peanut Butter Filled Pretzels
I asked my wide network of Trader Joe Heads what TJ’s greatest snack was and the peanut-butter-filled pretzels were the most mentioned, by far. They’ve been around forever. They’re salty and crunchy and yield to pasty sweet peanut butter. You can’t top that textural experience. Also: They’re bite-size. HOWEVER, I’m more fond of the newer almond-butter-filled pretzel nuggets, which are a little bigger, with a greater pretzel-to-almond butter ratio. Check them out too.
Elote Corn Chip Dippers
Inside—and outside—the halls of Bon Appétit, these are legendary. Like I’ve said before, imagine sprinkling Cool Ranch Dorito seasoning on giant Fritos. A perfect chip.
ANY OL’ NUT!
I don’t want to argue about which flavored nut mix is the best at Trader Joe’s, but I’m fond of classic Honey-Roasted Peanuts and super salty and oily Guara Almonds. Maybe you like the Chile-Lime Cashews or the Sweet and Spicy Pecans? Either way, the nut aisle is a gold mine.
Baked Cheese Crunchies
Another classic, these are akin to baked Cheetos, albeit with more muted cheese flavor since Trader Joe’s doesn’t allow MSG (wah!). The baking process gives them extra crunch. You know how people like to eat apples with cheese as a snack? I like to do a sliced apple and some cheese crunchies, turn on a rerun of Cheers, see where the night takes me.
Sea-Salted Saddle Potato Crisps
It’s really hard to pick a favorite chip. These not-Pringles are phenom.
PB&J Snack Duo
One of the most innovative snacks ever innovated! Sugary wafer straws are filled with peanut butter and you dip them in a little tub of jelly. When else do you get a snack AND an activity?
Buffalo Chicken Dip
Controversial. I was first turned off by the wet and creamy cold chicken dip that you’re apparently supposed to consume warm. Everyone I polled said they eat it cold, and they eat it like there’s no tomorrow. I tried it again and have to concede: It’s disgustingly good.
Let’s not forget those 20¢ BANANAS!
If you aren’t buying the cheapest bananas ever at Trader Joe’s, you’re missing the point of going.
Sour Jelly Beans
Truly sour, they make me pucker my lips and curse my dentist. I like to pop them when I’m on deadline and racing to the finish.
Mac and Cheese Bites
The spanakopita at Trader Joe’s used to be my favorite of the frozen snacks, but they’re not as good as they used to be. My last batch was rock-like. The Mac and Cheese Bites, however, could go against any hors d’oeuvre in a 12-course tasting menu and I swear they’d come out on top. The crispy breadcrumb exterior contains gooey mac and cheese, and I take them to expert level by dipping them in pepper jelly or drizzling with hot honey.
Mousse Cakes
Where did the melt-in-your-mouth ube tea cookies go? Since I can’t find those little cookies anymore, I’ll have to go with my beloved mousse cakes as the best sweet snack at TJ’s. They change flavors with the season, keeping you on your toes (or maybe that’s the sugar making you levitate). They’re adorable petit fours with a cake layer topped with fluffy mousse, coated in a frosting that’s always in some cute shape, like lemons with little green leaves. These are the type of snacks you’d pile on a three-tier tray and serve to a reigning monarch. That’s the standard we should be holding our snacks to, folks! The queen is you. Happy snacking.