Looking for a helping hand
BMJ 2024; 386 doi: https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.q1006 (Published 11 July 2024) Cite this as: BMJ 2024;386:q1006
I used to enjoy drinking alcohol in social situations, and it was a regular part of my life. But following some family problems I started to drink more often, and my friends and family were worried. My son was upset to see me intoxicated, and it was painful to hear his criticism of me. As my relationships suffered, I was growing anxious and depressed, experiencing panic attacks.
I went to see my GP. I had physical symptoms such as shaking in my hands, and I thought it would be obvious that I was unwell. I told him I was drinking a bottle of wine on most days. My GP told me that I wasn’t alone, and that a lot of people did similar. He advised that I should do what I could to cut back, or to stop drinking alcohol entirely if it was affecting me badly. But he didn’t suggest how I might do that.
I felt frustrated and hopeless. I was aware of the serious health problems that alcohol caused and I knew I needed help to stop.
Reaching a crisis
I self-referred to a local alcohol and substance recovery service. They offered talking therapies, and I was relieved to have found help. But my drinking continued, and I resigned from my job because I believed it was causing me anxiety. Looking back now, I think it was the alcohol that was making the anxiety worse.
The covid-19 lockdown pushed my drinking to crisis levels. Whereas before I had abstained on occasional days, now I drank every day. When lockdown ended, I realised that I needed to get back to work, but I had lost the confidence to do so. I no longer trusted myself. If I opened a bottle of wine, I didn’t know when I might stop drinking, and where I would end up.
Compassion
Through the local service, I referred myself for a detox programme. The waiting times for this were long, but support groups, online and in person, kept me going. A place on a programme became available, and a doctor phoned to let me know. When he called the following day to confirm some details, his first question was to ask, very gently, if I remembered our conversation from the previous day. I was shocked that he thought I might not remember, but the question was asked without judgment, and he listened patiently during our conversation. This helped counter some of the shame I felt about my situation.
During that period I sometimes had suicidal thoughts, and it was the kindness of a particular nurse that helped me. She undertook the routine tasks of taking my blood and monitoring my medication, but she also noticed my low mood and was able to ask questions about suicidal thoughts that people close to me might not have felt able to. She quickly understood the situation and sought my permission to call the GP on my behalf. As a result, my antidepressant medication was adjusted and the crisis eased. I am so grateful for her compassion.
I had good healthcare once I was “in the system” but it wasn’t easy to make that first step to get help. I would like healthcare professionals to be aware and on the lookout for signs of addiction. There are some excellent places and resources for support, but a person at their lowest point might need a helping hand to find them.
What you need to know
Discussing addiction can provoke feelings of discomfort or shame. Reassuring the person that you are not judging them can help
Specialised support groups can be a helpful resource for people seeking support with addiction
Education into practice
What might you suggest to someone who asks you for help to moderate or stop their alcohol intake?
What local services can you recommend for someone seeking support?
Footnotes
Competing interests: none.