Joey Chestnut Ate 200 Boneless Wings In Under 38 Minutes Proving That He Might Get Knocked Down, But He'll Get Up Again, You Ain't Never Gonna Keep Him Down
It's always rare to see someone do exactly what they were put on this Earth to do. And when you see it, it's a beautiful thing. Michael Jordan playing basketball, Tiger Woods playing golf, Jimi Hendrix playing the guitar. You see them do things that seem like they should be impossible, yet somehow they make it look as easy as could be. Like they've unlocked some sort of secret to achieving greatness.
That's Joey Chestnut when it comes to shoveling sustenance down his throat hole.
The man was put on this Earth to eat an obscene amount of food in an astonishingly short amount of time. It would take most people 8-10 years to consume 76 hot dogs, and Joey Chestnut was able to do it in 10. So just because he was banned from the hot dog eating contest this year doesn't mean that he's going to stop using his gift. He's not just going to stop eating a ridiculously, and wildly unhealthy, amount of food in a preposterously short amount of time. You can take the man out of the eating contest, but you can't take the eating contest out of the man.
Keep in mind he just ate 57 hot dogs on the 4th of July. So I'm sure at least half of those were still in his stomach before taking down all those boneless wings.
And a quick sidenote on boneless wings here--I know a lot of people like to shit on boneless wings. They say there's no such thing as boneless wings, there's just chicken tenders. And to that, I probably agree. You can call them buffalo tenders, but they sure as shit ain't wings. With that being said, however, "boneless wings" or buffalo tenders are fucking delicious. Sometimes even better than actual wings. You get more chicken, there's way less of a mess, and you get to avoid having to navigate through the drums and flats while sharing an order. The best wing in the world will always taste better than the best buffalo chicken tender in the world, but sometimes the "boneless wings" just get the job done in a way that wings can't.
P.S. -- I don't see Kobayashi putting up these numbers come Labor Day. He better start getting in the lab.