Advertisement

"He Can't Hit a Golf Ball 50 Yards!", Presidential Debate Devolved Into a Full Blown "Who's Better at Golf?" Argument

We’re not really supposed to talk politics at Barstool. As I understand it people think it’ll cause more problems than the pageviews are worth. That's very likely true. But you might be surprised to learn that contrary to popular belief, we are still allowed to blog about sports. As luck would have it, we got ourselves a truly classic politics/sports crossover. A crossover that far exceeded any time Barack Obama shot a basketball, or filled out a bracket. It may have even edged out the George Bush, "Now watch this drive" moment. Because for at least a minute there, the presidential debate did not have a thing to do with politics. Whatever issue they were talking about couldn't have mattered in the slightest. Trump and Biden didn't give a damn where they were. They were both downright appalled at the idea that the man at the podium next to him thought he was the better golfer. It was, "Fuck you. Your golf game is shit. Mine is better. Let's meet on fucking course and battle it out."

A moment that will go down in history. The only thing we can do now is play the match. We'll get both candidates to agree on a neutral course. Somewhere warm. Maybe somewhere with a dry heat. No handicap bullshit. We'll let them take cart (because who the fuck is Joe Biden kidding they're not walking, and they're certainly not carrying their bags). The logical thing to do would be have the vice presidential candidates caddy for them, but does anybody really want to see that? No shot. They need real caddies. Maybe real golfers. I'm sure John Daly would caddy for Trump at the drop of a hat. Biden will find someone. Then we'll have 18 holes (or maybe 9 for safety) of Donald Trump vs Joe Biden from the senior tees. Winner gets the presidency. Winner gets America.

Advertisement