To nobody in particular: you can take your Glastonbury wristband off now. Thanks.
Monzo Bank
Banking
London, England 467,709 followers
corporate content never felt like Monzo.
About us
corporate content never felt like Monzo.
- Website
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http://monzo.com
External link for Monzo Bank
- Industry
- Banking
- Company size
- 1,001-5,000 employees
- Headquarters
- London, England
- Type
- Privately Held
- Founded
- 2015
- Specialties
- Digital Retail Bank, Fintech, digital banking, and smartphone
Locations
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Primary
Broadwalk House
Appold Street
London, England EC2A 2AG, GB
Employees at Monzo Bank
Updates
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THINGS THAT HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE AS IMPRESSIVE AS THEY ARE - OFFICE EDITION: - being able to book a meeting room at short notice - making cups of tea that are slightly above average - whenever you call a lift, it comes within 15 seconds - knowing where the brand swag is kept - not asking "can everyone see my screen?" when sharing your screen - using the printer without any issues
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THINGS YOU CAN SAY IN THE OFFICE *AND* WHILE PLAYING GLASTONBURY: - Looking at my Greggs lunch: "You want me, I want you baby" (Dua Lipa) - Talking to the office printer: "I will try to fix you" (Coldplay) - Trying to find the share screen button: "Why d'ya have to go and make things so complicated?" (Avril Lavigne) - Using the lift: "Push the button" (Sugababes) - Having to use Microsoft Teams: "If you wonder if I hate you, I do" (SZA) - When Greg comes in with a new haircut: "That don't impress me much" (Shania Twain) - Attending a 9am meeting: "Has it come to this?" (The Streets)
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OFFICE RED CARD OFFENCES 🟥 - microwaving fish - sitting in my seat and adjusting my monitor - putting the empty milk back in the fridge - taking your shoes off in the office (flip-flops are an immediate yellow card) - not instantly reacting with the 'crying laughing' emoji to my latest slack message 😂 - trying to start a conversation in the lift - making a cup of tea for yourself without asking your colleagues first - commenting when someone pushes on a pull door - booking a meeting over lunchtime - taking a video call without headphones - not noticing my haircut - leaving your mug on the kitchen counter when the dishwasher is RIGHT THERE
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DIARY OF AN... OFFICE PRINTER 🖨️ 8am: I start my day by saying some positive affirmations out loud: BRRR BEEP BEEP SHHH CRRRR 9am: Breakfast - toast with paper jam 10am: Everyone's swearing because I'm out of magenta. I don't like it when they use that tone with me. 11am: My paper tray 2 is empty if you even care. 12pm: Lunch - 6x A4 paper reams 😋 1pm: I’m stuffed (paper stuck in tray) 3pm: Another day, another person getting confused trying to print double-sided again. I'm so misunderstood. 4pm: Eavesdropped on some office gossip. Apparently there's something called a 3D printer?? Not sure how to feel about that 🫤 5pm: Greg wants to print out labels for his Vinted orders. That doesn't sound very work essential, Greg. 6pm: Time to grab some dinner and unplug for the evening. Good night!
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