I have a recurring dream. I’m driving a car when I suddenly remember I don’t know how. The realisation comes the moment my dad asks me to find somewhere to park. Like many dreams, it makes little sense. Surely, my dad would never let me get behind the wheel in the first place. And I would certainly not be so bold as to operate a vehicle with zero experience. Yet, research suggests that it could relate to my reality.
Dreams are far from random. Looking at multiple dreams and when they occur in a person’s life, you can see how the dreams embody their ongoing concerns, how they view themselves and their relationship with the world, says Antonio Zadra, professor of psychology at the University of Montreal and co-author of When Brains Dream. One recent example: during lockdown in 2020, people dreamed about social distancing, PPE and other pandemic themes, according to research in Frontiers In Psychology. While unsurprising, it shows that our dreaming and waking minds are closely linked.
But if dreams imitate life, why do some of them defy common sense, such as my driving dream? The answer to that is found in neuroscience. Most recalled dreams happen during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. During this phase, your secondary visual cortex, which forms images from memory and imagination, is way more active than it is when you’re awake. The prefrontal cortex, where logic and censorship lie, is significantly tamped down, as are the language areas of your brain, says Deirdre Barrett, author of The Committee Of Sleep and lecturer of psychology at Harvard. The result? ‘We have our usual thoughts and concerns and hopes and fears, but they’re expressed in a visual story way rather than a logical, verbal reasoning way,’ she says.
Your brain strings together the plot by going through memories loosely related to your worries. Then, it presents them to you in a dream one after another to see how you’d respond. (Yes, your mind is actively testing you.) ‘The brain creates these unusual dream narratives so that you have an experience that you react to,’ adds Professor Zadra. ‘Then, it uses these feelings to make sense of the world around you.’ Using my recurring dream as a case study, I go from feeling happy and free to scared and resentful when I’m given an impossible task. But I never argue – I always do what’s expected of me, which is my norm.
Dreams can be a fountain of ideas, and artists throughout history have derived inspiration for their masterpieces this way. Mary Shelley dreamed of two key scenes in Frankenstein – when the inventor tries to bring his creation to life with electricity, and later when the monster walks in and stands over him while he’s asleep. Paul McCartney first heard the tune for Yesterday in a dream.
That your dreams are based on your memories and emotions means you can learn a lot about yourself from them, too. ‘If you stop and reflect, “Why would my brain select this? Why would it put them together in this way?” It can lead to insights about what’s on your mind, things you haven’t thought about or given enough attention to,’ says Professor Zadra.
It means that even if you and your friend have similar dreams, the meaning is different for each of you. You need to examine your dreams in the context of your life to decipher them. That’s why Amy Lawson, the host of the podcast The Stuff Of Dreams, adds this disclaimer when she interprets dreams on Reddit: if her read doesn’t ring true for you, then it’s not right. ‘You have to go where the inner energy is because you’re the one that’s in your head,’ she says.
Think you’re one of those people who rarely dream? News flash: everyone dreams. But you may not remember your dreams if you don’t wake up during REM sleep. Your short-term memory is active during this stage, while the mechanisms that convert short-term to long-term memory are not, explains Dr Barrett. Don’t wake up and you’ll simply lose that memory. But the fix is simple: tell yourself to remember your dreams. This is a legitimate technique called autosuggestion and, according to Professor Zadra, it really works.
Ready to unlock the wisdom that’s specifically for you? Experts lay out the questions to ask to help you make sense of unique symbols and metaphors.
Tune into the emotions
Pay attention to the feelings you experience in your dream, especially strong ones. Look at when, why and how these intense emotions are experienced. And write it all down as soon as you wake up. Think about what’s happening in your waking life that inspires feelings similar to the ones you have in your dream.
Focus on the who
The characters in your dream are important. Try to pinpoint when specific individuals appear. Do you know them and do they show up often in your dreams? Consider the nature of your interactions with them. Do they pop up when you’re facing a specific stressor? Do you have a good time with them? Or do you fight? In my dream, my dad pressures me to find somewhere to park. I often worry about disappointing him, and I tend to have this dream when I go through work stress, such as starting a new job.
Look at all dreams
You can learn useful things from a single dream, but Professor Zadra believes observing a series of them to spot patterns is crucial. ‘Because these patterns reoccur over time, they’re even more significant than any individual experience,’ he says. See who you dream about most often. Then think about the nature of your relationships with them. Who initiates the interactions in your dreams? How do they end? And how do you feel when you wake up? Back to my driving dream: losing control of your car typically means not being able to guide your life where you want, shares Professor Zadra. So my dream could be telling me that I push myself to fulfil my dad’s expectations – even if they’re not entirely doable.
Ask your friends
Ever heard the expression, ‘You’re too close to it’? That applies to dream analysis, too. ‘I’m pretty good at interpreting other people’s dreams, and I still often don’t see stuff in my own until I talk to my dream group,’ says Dr Lawson. ‘They’ll point out something, and I’m like, “Yeah, that should have been super obvious.” But because it was mine, I couldn’t see it.’
Try gathering a few trusted friends who have known you for quite a while and are also interested in interpreting dreams. They have knowledge of you to work with and can offer their reads to help you pick out threads you may have missed. Meet regularly so you
can all get some practice in.
Dream tracker
The best way to make sure you remember your dreams is to jot them down in a dream diary ASAP. ‘People who keep dream journals almost always remark that just writing down the dream fixes it in their mind much more clearly,’ says Dr Barrett. These tips from the pros will help you keep a detailed record.
Dig deep
As soon as you wake up, ask yourself: what are you dreaming about? Who are the characters? How do you interact with them? Where do they take place? How do they unfold? Do this every day, even if you only recall a fragment of your dream.
Take it slow
You’ll remember your dream much better if you think about and replay it again after getting up. This commits it to your long-term memory. Give yourself a minute or two in the morning to recollect any images from the previous night.
Hit refresh
If nothing comes back, try changing positions in bed. ‘If you woke up on your back, turn on to your side to see if anything returns. If you can remember anything, even a vague feeling
or a static image, write them down and do this on a daily basis,’ says Professor Zadra.
Try speaking
Not a writer? ‘Dictating them to a speech-to-text programme makes it fast and easy to record your dreams,’ says Dr Barrett. It boosts your recall, too. You can also use apps such as Dreams and Oniri, which will even help you sort and analyse your dreams.
Look back
If you have a problem you’re stuck on, think about if any of your dreams are about that, says Dr Barrett. Your dreams are good at presenting new ways to approach issues. That may be the solution you’ve been looking for.
What do your dreams really mean?
Dream dictionaries can provide basic guidance on interpreting experiences. (Dr Lawson suggests Inner Work by Robert Johnson for this.) That said, the answer comes from your own experiences. But dream researchers have identified some common themes, which can send you down the right path. Here are the ones they see all the time...
Being chased
'You could be scared for your physical or mental wellbeing', says Professor Zadra. You could also be worried about a deadline or a relationship that you want to get out of. This dream could also convey a sense of suffocation. The identity of the pursuer matters, too. You could be running away from someone you know or parts of yourself that you dislike.
Discovering a new room
'This is almost always a positive dream', says Professor Zadra. A house represents your mind. Finding an area you didn’t know existed could mean that you’re discovering new parts of yourself – either new facets or skills that you didn’t think you had or didn’t think you could develop.
Running late
The dominant emotions are anxiety and disappointment, such as rushing to catch a flight and missing it. The meaning depends on why you’re behind schedule – is it a result of your actions (you misplace a ticket) or outside of your control (such as running into traffic on the way to the airport)? This could mean that you’re missing out on something in your life because of something you’re not doing or being proactive about, or because of the inactions of others.
Being unprepared for an exam
This could express a sense of self-doubt. Maybe you’re unsure if you’re up to the task at work or whether you can deliver a project on time. Perhaps you’re worried about how your colleagues or a spouse views you. Or it could be that you don’t know how well your relationships with those around you are going.
Teeth falling out
You may be preoccupied with how others perceive you or how you view yourself. This may also be related to how you’ve been eating. Losing your teeth could be related to feelings about getting older, too, as it’s a sign of ageing, or it could be a linguistic metaphor (think: the common expression of biting off more than you can chew).
Jackie Lam is the senior health editor at Women’s Health where she oversees health and weight loss content for the website and the Mind section of the print magazine. Originally from Hong Kong, she’s a journalist with more than 10 years of experience and a proud graduate of Cornell University and the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University. When she’s not at her laptop, she can be found experimenting with Japanese recipes in her kitchen with her husband as her main taste tester, discovering the latest in K-Pop, and dreaming up her next trips to Japan.
