Growing up as a little boy, it was never an issue to have my shirt off as a kid. It was just part of being assigned male.
But once I became a woman in my teens, all of a sudden it was illegal to show the exact same nipple.
Trans women, and women in general, have so many constraints placed on our bodies. As women, we are told not to show our bodies, and as trans people, we've been told not to exist. There is something so liberating and beautiful about being naked on your own terms.
Keeping a roof over my head in NYC as a young adult with no family was a tough task.
I worked in nightclubs and hustled and did many things to survive.
I like to think that all I have been through only adds to my strengths as an actor.
My body has carried me a long way and has had many evolutions. I honor it, flaws and all.
I came out to the public after I landed my role in ‘Transparent.’
Being in the public eye and coming out was like setting myself free and kind of saying, "I don't give a fuck anymore about what you guys think about me. If you're wondering if I'm trans, if you're not, if you don't know or if you do, this is me and this is my truth.
By the time I started working in Hollywood, I had already been through hell and back with my body—surgery, being sexualized, working in the sex industry.
I didn't expect that type of trauma to carry over into Hollywood, but looking back, maybe I was just being naive.
[Editor's note: In 2017, Trace Lysette became the second woman to accuse her Transparent co-star Jeffrey Tambor of sexual misconduct.]
After everything went down, I felt this deep sorrow for myself and for my body. This vessel did not deserve to be sexualized in that way.
Sadness came through me, but I also found strength in speaking out. I didn't want to look back in 10 years and think that I didn't do the right thing.
When I landed my role in Hustlers, I was like ‘Oh my god, this is the part of Hollywood I need to be working with.’
When I heard about the movie Hustlers, which tells the story of a group of strippers conning their clients, a I sent out a tweet that said: "I danced at SCORES in NYC (the club that this movie is about) for 8+ yrs... I cannot wait for this film and I would absolutely LOVE to be part of it somehow, someway."
I tagged Lorene Scafaria, who wrote and directed the film, and we had lunch and hit it off. I landed a part in the movie.
It felt like home to be working with so many powerful women—Lizzo, Cardi B, Jennifer Lopez, Constance Wu. I felt so welcome and loved.
As a trans woman, I still feel pressure to fit into a mold that cis-hetero society deems ”beautiful.”
Trans women should be accepted and celebrated, whether they look a little bit more on the masculine side of the spectrum or they're the femme of all fems.
Over the years, I've had a lot of pain and struggle, and moments of looking in the mirror at myself, crying. I'm still on that journey of self-acceptance and love and loving my body for all of its curves and imperfections and just everything that makes me me.
But I always try to remind myself that I'm not the only one who has gone through this. I'm not the only trans woman that has had to try and figure out self-acceptance, self-worth, and self-love. I'm not the only one who has navigated survival—or who has fallen to sex work and come out on the other side.
Speaking about our journeys can sometimes be a roadmap for other people who haven't quite figured it out yet. I'm always trying to look beyond my own experiences and think, "How can I help someone else?"
As told to Amanda Woerner.
Read more about the women featured in our Naked Strength package in the September issue of Women’s Health.
