When I heard that Jennifer Lopez would be canceling the United Stages leg of her This Is Me…Live Tour in order to “be with her children, family, and close friends,” my first thought was a predictable one: Oh God, she’s in full flop mode. (To be fair, she is going through it; over the last few weeks, Lopez has been hounded with questions about the possibly damaged state of her marriage to Ben Affleck, even while she simply tried to promote a movie.) My second thought, though, was a little more unorthodox: Good for her.
Allow me to explain. It’s certainly sad that Lopez feels “heartsick and devastated” about “letting [her fans] down,” as the singer and actor recently put it in her newsletter. But I’m glad to see her prioritizing family, friends, and her life in general—even if the real reason for her change of course is that the tour didn’t sell well, and/or Lopez simply doesn’t feel like putting on a sequined, shimmering show for two months straight while her marriage is potentially in trouble. Either way, I support it!
Obviously, Lopez isn’t exactly on the level of a regular person canceling social plans because it’s “all just too much.” But personally, I think we need to embrace the concept of knowing our limitations and not overcommitting, especially when we’re in a tough place emotionally or logistically. More of us—especially women, who are increasingly overworked and underpaid, yet continue to shoulder the majority of domestic labor in a country with little in the way of a viable social safety net—should be following J.Lo’s example and simply canceling that which does not serve us, from major tours to things as seemingly insignificant as a dinner party or a school event. When we don’t cancel things we have zero bandwidth for, is it because we actually feel a responsibility to follow through, or because we’re worried about being disliked or disapproved of if we demur?
Obviously, canceling commitments isn’t as ideal as, say, not signing on to do things you don’t think you’ll have the emotional or physical energy for in the first place. But I’m glad to hear that Lopez is “relieved” to have backed out of her upcoming shows. In these crazy times, I think we all deserve whatever measure of peace we can find for ourselves, whether we’re internationally famous multihyphenates or just regular bloggers bailing on Pride parties because we have a headache and we didn’t sleep well and we’re almost 31. (Okay, I’m just talking about myself here.)
