For someone with just about the most boring hair routine imaginable — wash, air-dry, and generally collect my medium-length locks up into a messy bun that has been referred to as “jellyfish-esque” and “makes you look like a palm tree” on more than one occasion — I have an extremely high level of coif envy whenever I see someone pulling off a style that I could never make work. That’s why, when I saw my queen Florence Pugh rocking the teeny-weeniest ponytail possible at the Valentino show this week, my heart fluttered:
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Is this look something I’m about to run out and recreate for myself? No (mostly because I, unlike Pugh, am not growing out a buzz cut), but that’s why celebrities exist; to give us something to look at and say, “Wow, I feel both awed and inferior.” While Shiv Roy’s wedding ponytail was sloppy and somewhat out-of-character, Pugh’s tiny pony — which is giving both “Founding Father” and “your extremely sweet stoner high-school boyfriend coming over to meet your parents,” somehow — is punk-rock chic threaded with just a wee bit of celesbian swag (I’m not casting aspersions on Pugh’s sexuality, but I think any reasonable person would be forced to conclude that the buzz-cut-into-tiny-pony look is sending out huge “Let’s do drinks at the Ruby Fruit” vibes.)
This look doesn’t seem particularly easy to recreate at home, unless you’re blessed with Pugh’s exact bone structure and colourist on call, but given her talent for turning nearly everything she wears (including sheer gowns) into a capital-O Occasion, I wouldn’t be surprised if half of Brooklyn suddenly turned into a sea of TLPs (Tiny Little Ponytails.)
Thank you for the styling inspo, Miss Flo!