Jon Stewart The Lord Almighty Has News for Biden ... You Can't Be Resurrected!!

President Joe Biden said the only one who could change his mind on running for re-election is The Lord Almighty ... well multiple Lords Almighty have spoken ... with the help of Jon Stewart, and the news isn't good.

7/5/24
WAITING FOR THE LORD...
ABC News

"The Daily Show" host hilariously spoofed Biden's Biblical challenge with Gods of all shapes and sizes. There's the traditional God with the white beard, then there's Jesus, then Black Jesus and the most hilarious ... Ozempic Buddha!

They're message is pretty clear -- quoting from their New York Times Best Seller, The Bible -- "To everything there is a season ... turn, turn, turn."

Louisiana Thou Shalt Hang Ten Commandments Law Kicks In for Schools

Louisiana's getting back to basics in its education system, 'cause a new law requiring schools to display some of the oldest written rules in every class just kicked in ... and holy cow!

The new law demands a poster-sized display of the Biblical laws hung in every public classroom in large, easy-to-read font. The bill went into effect Wednesday after the period for Governor Jeff Landry to sign or veto the bill lapsed.

The posters -- which will also include a four-paragraph statement to put them in context by explaining how the Ten Commandments used to be a core tenet of American education -- must go up in the classrooms by the start of 2025.

Carly Pearce Denies Supporting Satan After 666 Pic ... 'I'm a Devout Christian'

Carly Pearce is proclaiming her Christian faith, loudly and proudly, after fans accused her of being a Satanist in response to a controversial photo posted online.

The country singer fired back at her critics with an X post designed to shut down any notion she might be associated with ol' Beelzebub. Carly says she noticed several comments suggesting she rolls with Satan after she posted a photo standing on top of what appeared to be the number "666."

Yet, as Carly told her followers, the implied Satanic imagery was not intentional ... and not really accurate, either.

POPE FRANCIS Repeats Homophobic Slur Keep Gay Dudes Out of Seminaries!!!

Pope Francis has yet again used a disparaging slur against gay people behind closed Vatican doors -- less than a month after apologizing for doing the same thing.

According to ANSA -- the leading news agency in Italy -- the pontiff reiterated the vulgar term while speaking to Roman priests Tuesday ... stating, "There is an air of fa****ness in the Vatican," as he expressed it'd be better for young gay men to steer clear of seminaries.

No doubt, it's all a bit disappointing -- and with no repeat apology as of yet, it'll be interesting to see how this situation is handled moving forward.

'DANCING FOR THE DEVIL' DOC ALLEGED Villain Was Investigated by Cops ... Cases Closed, No Charges

The alleged villain covered in Netflix's 'Dancing for the Devil' was the subject of two previous criminal investigations, but neither resulted in any charges ... TMZ has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell us two sexual battery cases were filed against Robert Shinn and reported to LAPD in August 2023 -- which tracks with what was covered in the doc ... with some of his accusers coming forward and noting they'd gone to cops.

We're told one of the cases was filed by former 7M member Kylie Douglas, whose story was featured in the doc. Our sources say the LAPD conducted an investigation, and the case eventually landed at the L.A. City Attorney’s Office.

India Oxenberg Miranda Derrick Deserves Sympathy ... I Was Brainwashed Too

Former NXIVM sex cult member India Oxenberg says folks need to cut TikTok star Miranda Derrick some slack ... 'cause she may well be in a cult and not even realize she's been brainwashed.

India, who broke free from NXIVM after 7 years under the cult's spell, tells TMZ ... she's known about Miranda's alleged cult, 7M Films, for years and thinks it's likely Miranda doesn't fully understand the influence the group is exerting over her life.

Miranda denies 7M is a cult, and says she's not some mindless zombie under founder Robert Shinn's control -- pushing back against a narrative seen in the new "Dancing for the Devil" Netflix doc -- but India says groups like 7M and NXIVM have perfected the art of controlling communication with those on the outside.

Harrison Butker Helped Save Seizing Teammate ... Chiefs Trainer Says

Kansas City Chiefs trainer Rick Burkholder says Harrison Butker is a hero ... revealing on Friday the kicker helped save a teammate who was having a medical emergency on Thursday.

Burkholder told a roomful of reporters that just moments after BJ Thompson suffered a sudden seizure during a special teams meeting at the Chiefs' practice facility ... it was Butker who raced out to get aid.

to the rescue
Kansas City Chiefs

Burkholder said Butker "immediately ran toward the training room" to make staffers aware of the situation ... allowing the professionals to rush to the scene before things got dire.

ACTRESS MASSIEL TAVERAS Cannes Security Guard Needs Jesus ... I Had To Stand My Ground

SETTING MY BOUNDARIES
TMZ.com

Massiel Taveras is still fuming at the security guard who tussled with her at the Cannes Film Festival ... telling TMZ the woman needs to take her butt to church, or at least open a Bible.

We got the Dominican actress Tuesday in Los Angeles and our photog asked her about her incident with the Cannes security guard -- which, as we all saw, got a little testy ... not to mention handsy.

Massiel tells us she was just trying to get a photo of her dress, the one with a huge image of Jesus Christ, when the security guard intervened ... rushing her along up the stairs.

'DANCING FOR THE DEVIL' DOC MIRANDA DERRICK BLASTS CULT CLAIMS ... My Family's Off Base!!!

6/4/24
ADDRESSING THE DOC

A new Netflix doc has made people believe that TikTok star Miranda Derrick is in a cult -- but she's calling BS ... and putting out a totally different narrative, suggesting she's just fine.

Miranda hopped online Tuesday to clap back at claims made in 'Dancing for the Devil' -- which characterizes her and others involved with 7M Films as brainwashed sheep that are beholden to an alleged cult leader ... but Miranda says that's simply not the case.

In a short clip on her IG Story Tuesday, Miranda first thanked everyone for their support since the 3-part doc dropped last week ... and then teased a lengthy written statement in the following slides, saying she couldn't spill all the tea due to legal reasons.

Katy Perry Here's Harrison 2.0 ... I Love Gays, Women's Rights, The Whole Thing!!!

KATY PERRY'S PRIDE VERSION

Katy Perry knows how to switch things up ... she has turned Kansas City Chief's Kicker Harrison Butker into a butt-kicker in support of women's and LGBTQ+ rights!

Katy posted an extreme edit of Butker's Benedictine College commencement speech, where he essentially said a woman's place is in the home and the movement for LGBTQ+ rights was downright dangerous.

5/11/24
Harrison's og speech
Benedictine College

You gotta listen to Katy's version ... Harrison sounds like AOC!

LENNY KRAVITZ I'VE BEEN CELIBATE FOR 9 YEARS!!!

Lenny Kravitz might be a well-known sex symbol ... but that’s kinda fading in light of this news -- namely, him being celibate for a whopping 9 years while on his spiritual journey.

The music icon says he's ditched casual flings for nearly a decade until he finds the right woman -- a move inspired by his dad, NBC news producer Sy Kravitz, cheating on his mom, Roxie Roker, a well-known actress famous for her starring role in "The Jeffersons."

Reflecting on the infidelity, Lenny told The Guardian his dad predicted he’d end up living the same lifestyle, and it turned out to be true. After his marriage to Lisa Bonet fell apart in 1991, Lenny acknowledged he began acting like a player.

POPE FRANCIs Gay Slur Ain't Really a Big Deal ... Says Openly Gay Priest

FATHER KNOWS BEST
TMZ.com

Pope Francis' homophobic slur is being dismissed as no big deal, especially considering most seminaries are mostly made up of gay dudes ... so claims one priest anyway.

Father James Alison -- a practicing Catholic and theologian in Madrid, and who's openly gay -- shared his POV on "TMZ Live" Tuesday ... explaining when the Pope speaks to Italian bishops behind closed doors, he's most likely addressing a group primarily composed of gay men -- with FJA theorizing he's likely fully aware of their sexuality 'cause he lives with them.

Therefore, Father James says he likely used the term in a positive/light-hearted context, among people he knows, rather than in a negative way typically associated with the term.

Pope Francis Hurls Gay Slur in Private Meeting with Bishops ... Too Much 'Fa**otness' in Seminaries

Pope Francis got all homophobic behind closed Vatican doors, referencing "fa**otness" in defending the Church's ban on gays becoming priests.

The Pope mused ..."There is already an air of fa**otness" in seminaries.

The Pope was talking to his bishops last week when he used the slur ... unnamed bishops who were present reportedly said Francis used it "jokingly."

Harrison Butker Stands Firm In His Values ... Claims Catholicism Is Hated

Harrison Butker was back before a podium Friday in his first public appearance since his controversial commencement speech – and he stood firm in his beliefs without giving an inch to his detractors.

Last evening, the K.C. Chiefs kicker gave another sermon onstage for the "Courage Under Fire" gala at Regina Caeli Academy – a traditional Catholic institution – in Nashville, Tennessee.

As a member of the school's board of directors, Butker leaned in heavily on his message from Benedictine College two weeks ago that rubbed many people the wrong way.

City Of Kansas City Fires Employee ... Over Harrison Butker Tweet

After two weeks of outrage, Harrison Butker's controversial commencement speech finally resulted in someone's firing -- it just wasn't the Chiefs' placekicker who lost his job -- but instead, a member of the City of K.C.'s social media team got the axe after doxxing the Super Bowl champ.

On Thursday, Kansas City Mayor Quinton Lucas revealed the city "separated" from a K.C. staffer who publicly roasted 28-year-old Butker after his Benedictine College speech, tweeting, "Just a reminder that Harrison Butker lives in the City of Lee's Summit."

The message was deleted shortly after ... and an apology put up in its place -- "We apologies (sic) for our previous tweet. It was shared in error."

Patrick Mahomes Defends Harrison Butker ... 'That's A Good Person'

JUDGE HIM BY HIS CHARACTER
Kansas City Chiefs

Patrick Mahomes is sticking up for Harrison Butker ... praising the kicker as a man of good character following his controversial commencement speech earlier this month.

Butker is at the center of a ton of criticism after speaking at Benedictine College's graduation ceremony ... in which he shared his views that many considered sexist, anti-gay and politically divisive.

5/11/24
Harrison's og speech
Benedictine College

The Kansas City superstar addressed the Butker backlash with reporters at Chiefs practice on Wednesday ... and while he said the two might not see eye-to-eye on every issue, he still understands his teammate to be a good guy.

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