On Sir Paul McCartney
“He announced in October 2001 that he had proposed marriage to Heather Mills after he received instructions from an owl . . . It has been said that, if you are ever tempted to keep an owl as a pet, think twice.”
On the Queen
“[Her] snobbery extends to the royal stables. She rejected one likely stallion as a suitable mate for a royal mare because it was owned by a bookmaker. She is thought to be as tight-fisted as Queen Victoria.”
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On Jeffrey Archer
“A moral philosopher. . . has pointed out that, since punishment can never be justified for its own sake but only by reason of its deterrent value, Mr Justice Pott’s purpose in sending Archer to prison must have been not to punish him, but to discourage deputy chairmen of the Conservative Party in future from commiting perjury in libel trials.”
On Manchester’s ex-Chief Constable Sir James Anderton
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“He is proud of the fact that he arrested his first wrongdoer at the age of 6 — a neighbour’s 4-year-old daughter who had stolen an orange. She became a Sunday school teacher 21 years later. Satisfied that the infant criminal had learned the error of her ways, Anderton married her in 1959.”
On the Misuse of Drugs Act
“[In 1971] the law was changed to ensure that the production and supply of dangerous drugs should henceforth be in the hands of criminal organisations.”