Make a friend of your mind. Free your mind, and your bottom will follow — The Duchess of York on her slimming technique
I hate being on my own. I don’t sit well with myself. I’m not comfortable in my skin. I stare at the wall. I haven’t got a clue who I am — Michael Barrymore
I don’t get disorientation because I’ve never stayed in one place long enough to feel odd about leaving it — Naomi Campbell
We do not accept the justice of any of the verdicts in the trial — Lady Archer on her husband’s conviction for perjury
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Going on the game is more profitable than taking in washing — Jilly Bywater, the so-called Harlot of Hovis Hill, who took up prostitution to enable her daughter to stay at a fee-paying school
There’s a kind of side-by-sideness — or at any rate, on-top- underneathness — that makes man and horse as thick as thieves when called upon to defy oppressive legislation — Roger Scruton on the suppression of hunting
I am not bitter. Yes, I am angry I didn’t get justice. I got rough justice — Tony Martin, after his release from prison for shooting a burglar
I never took any liberties, you know, I wasn’t trying to get off with them — Denis Thatcher on US presidents’ wives
Surprise me — The late Bob Hope, when his daughter asked where he wished to be buried
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What the police did amounted to state-created crime — Judge George Bathurst-Norman, halting a drugs trial
Oh God! Mum’s going to kill me — Euan Blair, who has just passed his driving test, after being involved in a collision
It would seem that the departure of Alastair Campbell from No 10 will be spun out — David Brancher, of Abergavenny, in a letter to The Times
I knew that if I was going to be a successful boxer, I might suffer from memory loss — Former heavyweight champion George Foreman, explaining why he called his five sons George
We are not deserting Tortie. We are handing him on because we felt we were just his keepers — The owners of an Edinburgh house, about why the resident tortoise is included in their house sale
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Freedom of expression is always the first casualty when politicians are on a witch-hunt against the press — Andrew Neil
Fines are still small change for big business — Baroness Young, Environment Agency boss, on blue-chip companies which simply ignore anti-pollution laws
Marauding mademoiselles — How the BBC refers to violent female teenage gangs
I’m back, I’m fighting and I’m going to make the case — John Prescott announces that he is running the country while Tony Blair is on holiday