Hannah Saunders, 32, a PR manager in the NHS, and Paul Joseph, 34, a chartered surveyor, were married on December 3, 2017, at Finchley United Synagogue, north London
Paul did some unconventional groundwork before approaching Hannah’s father to ask for her hand in marriage. He asked Hannah first. “I wanted to know that Hannah was on board before involving her parents,” he says.
Aware of Paul’s tendency to swing into action, Hannah wondered how soon he would propose after receiving her parents’ permission. At the end of that week she turned up at his north London flat for the traditional Friday night dinner and noticed that he had bought flowers. He had also made a side order of her favourite fried halloumi.
They ate unusually quickly, barely speaking. Then Paul produced a ring box. He was so overwhelmed that he forgot to go down on one knee. “I tried to ask her to marry me, but the words didn’t really come out,” he recalls. “I handed her the ring. She said, ‘Are you asking me if I want to marry you?’ ”
Paul first heard about Hannah through her friend Emma, whom he met at a communal Friday night dinner in 2016. Emma described Hannah as “really lovely, intelligent and pretty”, and put them in contact. Hannah and Paul met at a bar in West Hampstead.
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The conversation flowed and they continued to meet, trying to impress one another with interesting experiences. One trip, arranged by Paul, was to the Geffrye Museum followed by a walk around Columbia Road Flower Market in east London.
“We had both always hoped to get married one day, but had been waiting to find someone we wanted to spend our life with,” Hannah says. Raised in Kenton, northwest London, she studied natural sciences at the University of Cambridge before moving into marketing and communications.
“We share many of the same values and hopes for the future,” Paul says. He grew up in East Finchley, has a history degree from the University of Edinburgh and is an associate director at Strettons, a firm of chartered surveyors.
It turned out that Hannah and Paul’s grandfathers were stationed at the same airbase in west Africa during the war. “No one has got any idea whether they actually met,” Paul says, “but certainly our fathers like to think they did.
“That day, particularly, Hannah embodied the meaning of her Hebrew name, meaning ‘grace’
“Hannah is far more considered and reasoned,” he adds. “She is very supportive and makes me laugh.” He particularly enjoys her impersonation of Manuel from Fawlty Towers. She describes Paul as loyal and smart. “He has always got something intelligent to say.” Where he jumps into action, she tends to overthink. “When we are tackling things together, we balance each other out,” she says.
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Hannah and Paul invited 250 guests to their wedding and reception at Finchley United Synagogue, also known as Kinloss Synagogue. In keeping with Jewish tradition, they kept apart in the week before their wedding.
On arrival at the synagogue, they went into separate rooms, Hannah with female family members and Paul with the men to sign the ketubah, or marriage contract. Arm-in-arm with his father and Hannah’s, he was then escorted by their two rabbis to join Hannah.
“She looked wonderful,” Paul recalls. “It was very emotional from that moment on.” He lowered Hannah’s veil before they processed into the synagogue, each with their own parents. Under the chuppah — a canopy to symbolise their new home — and surrounded by family, they felt contained in a “bubble of people who were important”.
The celebrations started with wild traditional Jewish dancing, with men and women in separate circles. Paul was thrown around so much that he had to change his shirt, having lost buttons. “I had never seen him that dishevelled,” Hannah says.
Paul delivered his speech while he still had enough breath before the second round of dancing. A three-tier wedding cake with the newlyweds’ initials in silver on top took centre stage.
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“That day, particularly, Hannah embodied the meaning of her Hebrew name, meaning ‘grace’,” says Paul. On their return, Hannah moved into his flat. “My life is better with Hannah,” he says.