Why bother? I’d hope that he’s already explained before inviting you to lie on your left side with your knees up and your pants down, while he lubricates his favoured index finger. If not, you’re in for a surprise because that digit is about to explore your rectum. There are two main reasons why your GP might subject you to this indignity. One: you have some symptoms suggesting a bowel problem, such as anal pain, lumps, bleeding from the back passage or a change in the way your bowels are working. Two: in a man, signs of prostate trouble, such as a poor urinary stream or passing water frequently.
Will I live? On the bowel front, trivial problems such as piles or splits in the back passage may be seen or felt. Rather more significantly, 90 per cent of rectal cancers can be detected by the probing digit, although most of these examinations uncover nothing untoward. In men, the finger can also examine the prostate, directly beside the front wall of the rectum. A gentle feel may reveal the very common benign enlargement, or, occasionally, a cancer.
Bullshit factor? Zero. The GP doesn’t like performing this examination any more than you do enduring it. And the old adage from medical school still resonates: “If you don’t put your finger in it, you’ll put your foot in it.”