CRITICS’ CHOICE
Back to the garden?
Eden — Paradise Lost (C4, 10pm)
In March 2016, Channel 4 sent 23 volunteers off to build a new society in the Highlands and the results were so boring that they were taken off air after only four episodes. Filming continued, however, while the world went on without them. The participants emerged in the spring of 2017 to Brexit, Trump and the crushing realisation that they were not, in fact, celebrities. The thought that it may actually have been these 23 nobodies keeping the world on its axis is not explored.
This week, Channel 4 finally broadcasts five episodes gleaned from a year’s filming, and we first join the lost souls after two months: they are damp, miserable, slowly starving and desperate to catch a fish, while the camp is morphing into Lord of the Midges. “This is where we find out who we really are,” one bright-eyed enthusiast said as the project began. Tune in all week to find out how tediously self-serving that turned out to be.
Helen Stewart
Inside Heston’s World (Good Food, 9pm)
In 2015, Heston Blumenthal closed his garlanded restaurant The Fat Duck, in Bray, for refurbishment and relocated the business to Melbourne for six months. This enthusiastic four-part series follows the project closely and offers an insight into the workings of “one of the most unique restaurants in the world”. No stars for the use of English, then, but this first course is moreish. (MJ)
Tornado — The 100mph Steam Engine (BBC4, 8pm)
Well, the title rather gives the game away, as much of this charming film is a “will they won’t they?” story of an attempt to do a ton in, and behind, Peppercorn Class A1 60163. Wheels are tapped, dignitaries and media get on board, brows are mopped and speedometers anxiously studied as Tornado pulls out of Newcastle and builds up steam towards Doncaster and railway posterity central. (MJ)
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Animal Rescue Live (C4, 8pm)
As anyone who watches The Supervet already knows, 8pm is around the time Noel Fitzpatrick really starts to get going for the day while his exhausted surgical staff scrub in for another late shift, so it is a promising slot for a new week-long show live from the Newcastle Dog & Cat Shelter. Steve Jones and Kate Quilton are in attendance, and the singer Leona Lewis joins in for one night only. (HS)
Make Or Break? (C5, 10pm)
For those suffering withdrawal symptoms from Love Island, Channel 5 has come up with a show in which couples going through a rocky patch are sent to a beach resort, immediately separated and made to share a hut with the other contestants’ partners. Hate Island, if you like. Paul Dolan, a behavioural scientist brought in to provide an ethical dimension, believes that by dating each other the participants will learn if the grass really is greener. (HS)
FILM CHOICE
Once Upon A Time In Anatolia (2011)
Film 4, 1am
If you are in the mood for a slow, contemplative drama, an ideal candidate is this film by the esteemed Turkish writer/director Nuri Bilge Ceylan. A portrait of a group of policemen and officials searching a rural area for the body of a murder victim, it creates a rich atmosphere while examining the quiet but profound ways in which some members of the party are affected by their task.
Salt And Fire (2016)
Sky Cinema Premiere, 11.05am/9.40pm
Werner Herzog’s most recent dramatic movie is at its best when it resembles his nature documentaries. Its story of an ecologist (Veronica Ferres) abducted by a strange CEO (Michael Shannon) is ridiculous but does provide haunting views of the Uyuni salt flat in Bolivia.
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The Smallest Show On Earth (1957)
Talking Pictures TV, 4pm
A nostalgic comedy about a couple (Virginia McKenna and Bill Travers) who inherit an ageing cinema, this hymn to old-fashioned movie-going features two stars sure to stir up affection for a bygone era of British films: Margaret Rutherford and Peter Sellers. Dir: Basil Dearden (B/W)
The Heat (2013)
Film 4, 9pm
Beyond the fact that its two leading characters are women, this action comedy about a pair of mismatched cops does nothing remotely new with its familiar template. Its selling point is simply that it gives two capable stars, Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy, a supply of pretty good jokes. Dir: Paul Feig
Previews by Edward Porter
Radio pick of the day
Alone On A Wide Wide Sea Radio 2, 1.30pm
Jason Donovan and Toby Jones star, and Michael Morpurgo narrates, in a great rarity — drama on Radio 2 (see Radio Waves). Just A Minute (R4, 6.30pm) is back. Radio 4 Extra has two notable repeats both set in the 1490s: Sarah Dunant’s papal intrigue novel Blood And Beauty (2pm), from 2013, and Ross King’s account of Leonardo And The Last Supper (2.45pm), from 2012.
Paul Donovan
Sports choice
Test Cricket (SSME, 10.30am)
Cycling (Eurosport 1, 2pm)
WTA Tennis (BT Sport 1, 4pm)
Athletics (BBC2, 6pm/10pm; BBC1, 8.30pm)
You say
What a disappointment Fearless and The Loch (ITV) were: the latter was a ludicrous hotchpotch of murders and idiots and the former a stretch too far in the “ex-wimmin are angry” lachrymose lawyer overinvolved with her dim client and living with a Scouser. I feel cross I invested time in both.
Helen Lewis
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The Loch … unbelievable! Surpassed in its direness only by BBC Breakfast.
John Yarnall
What a load of bolloch.
John Bryant
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