When? February 24-March 11.
Why? Climb into your tightest trousers and prepare to clack those castanets at the Festival de Jerez, this year’s feistiest, flounciest, most ghetto-fabulous celebration of Andalusian song and dance. The whole city snaps awake to the stomp of the tacones and the twang of the gypsy guitar, and this year’s 10th-anniversary festival will be the biggest ever, cramming 50 shows, 36 courses (18 of them for beginners) and frightening amounts of sherry-swigging into 16 passionate days.
Headliners Joaquin Grilo and Sara Baras will rock the Teatro Villamarta, while 25,000 visitors flit between old-town flamenco bars in search of the near-holy duende (spirit).
How? Call 00 34 95 632 7327 for bookings; for a programme guide in English, visit www.flamenco-world.com. Fly to Jerez from Stansted with Ryanair (www.ryanair.com).
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BARCELONA v CHELSEA
When? March 7.
Why? Barcelona will be Spain’s sporting capital in 2006, with the homecoming of the Formula One champion Fernando Alonso at the 50th Spanish Grand Prix (May 12-14) and this clash of footballing kingpins in the Champions League. Barça meet the Blues for the second year running, and it deserves to be the final. Last season’s tie finished with nine goals, match-fixing accusations and the ref handing in his cards.
It’s not cheap: £200 or more for a ticket alone. You could just book a flight and watch the game live at P Flaherty’s pub, off La Rambla.
How? For tickets to this and domestic La Liga matches (from £30), visit www.barcelona-football-tickets.com. Fly to Barcelona with EasyJet (www.easyjet.com), BA (0870 850 9850, www.ba.com) or Jet2 (0871 226 1737, www.jet2.com).
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LAS FALLAS
VALENCIA
When? March 15-19.
Why? Processions, paella and papier-mâché: the ingredients may sound unpromising, but make no mistake, Las Fallas is the biggest, baddest street party in all Europe.
The madness begins on March 15, when hundreds of grotesque monsters march on the city — house-high effigies of politicians, celebrities and others deserving of public ridicule. The next five days are lived outdoors and without sleep, in a whirl of bullfights and barbecues, flower parades and firework contests on Plaza del Ayuntamiento.
Then, at midnight on March 19, the climax: the papier-mâché celebs are torched in a city-wide bonfire of the vanities. Now that’s what you call satire.
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How? For details, call 00 34 96 360 6353 or visit www.fallas.com. Fly to Valencia with EasyJet (www.easyjet.com) or Ryanair (www.ryanair.com).
RUSSIA!
GUGGENHEIM MUSEUM, BILBAO
When? March 29-September 3.
Why? Think of it as the latest cold-war peace dividend. The Guggenheim has raided the Hermitage Museum and the Tretyakov Gallery to assemble the tastiest trove of Russian art yet seen in western Europe. The show promises to deliver a complete cultural history on canvas — eight centuries, 275 works and a chance to trace lines of aesthetic influence all the way from the early religious icons of Andrei Rublev to the idealised Soviet soldiers of Alexander Deineka. They’re not as different as they first appear.
The Guggenheim is worth a visit just for Frank Gehry’s building. Russia! should just about be big enough to fill it.
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How? Call 00 34 94 435 9080 or visit www.guggenheim-bilbao.es. If you fancy some brawn with your brain, go during the Basque festival (August 20-28, www.bilbao.net/astenagusia), with its strongman games. Fly to Bilbao with Iberia (0870 609 0500, www.iberia.com) or EasyJet (www.easyjet.com).
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SEMANA SANTA
SEVILLE
When? April 9-16.
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Why? Seville is sensational in April, its mazy medieval lanes soaked in sun and scented with orange blossom. But it must be hell trying to get your car fixed or your bins emptied. The city downs tools for most of the month, beginning with Spain’s most affecting Easter pageant.
Each evening during Holy Week, bands of costumed clansmen — hooded, barefoot and swaying to songs of repentance — process towards the cathedral. They carry 500 years of history on their shoulders — and sacred sculptures depicting scenes from the Passion, many of them bona fide works of art. Hearts are rent, people weep. It’s not just moving, it’s miraculous.
After all the solemnity, the splurge: from April 25 to 30, the Feria de Abril kicks in, a round-the-clock booze-up in a lantern-lit tented village beside the river, with equestrianism, funfairs and flamenco.
How? Call Seville’s tourist board (00 34 95 422 1404, www.turismosevilla.org). Fly there with Iberia (0870 609 0500, www.iberia.com) or Ryanair (www.ryanair.com).
FESTIVAL OF MUSIC AND DANCE
GRANADA
When? June 23-July 9.
Why? Maybe there’s a better-sounding music festival than this in Europe. It’s possible. But there is no better-looking one. The genius of Granada’s long- running classical-music bash is to use the city itself as its exotic star: everything from bill- topping concerts to intimate recitals is conducted in the sensuous Alhambra palace. Previous years have seen Herbert von Karajan wield his baton at the Renaissance palace of Charles V, and Nureyev pirouette among the pools and patios of the Generalife gardens. Already confirmed for 2006: a slew of shows marking Mozart’s 250th birthday, including his early opera Mithridates, King of Pontus; and a trio of concerts by Daniel Barenboim and the Staatskapelle Berlin.
How? Call 00 34 95 822 1844 or visit www.granadafestival.org. Fly to Granada with Monarch (0870 040 5040, www.flymonarch.com) or Ryanair (www.ryanair.com).
BATTLE OF WINE
HARO
When? June 29.
Why? The Spanish in holiday mood can be a terrifying prospect. If they’re not worrying bulls or doing inappropriate things with firecrackers, they’re probably chucking stuff over each other. Best known among the messy fests is La Tomatina, a two-hour tomato-slinging war in Buñol, near Valencia (August 30) — but there’s also a village-wide water fight at Villagarcia de Arosa in Galicia (also in August), and even a baby-powder battle on the island of La Palma in the Canaries (February 27).
In Haro, capital of the High Rioja, the weaponry is wine. At daybreak, the combatants process to the hermitage of St Felices. There’s a mass, then hostilities begin, with thousands of litres of red stuff sprayed, squirted and flung from all manner of ingenious armaments. They only stop when the ammo runs out — then it’s back to town to bang drums and ingest more of the same. This year is the 100th staging of the Batalla del Vino, Europe’s merriest (and most wasteful) wine festival.
How? Haro tourist office (00 34 94 130 3366, www.haro.org). Fly to Bilbao with Iberia (0870 609 0500, www.iberia.com) or EasyJet (www.easyjet.com).
PICASSO: TRADITION & AVANT-GARDE
MADRID
When? June-September.
Why? Madrid’s “art boulevard”, already one of the world’s top-five art destinations, goes from strength to strength, with multimillion-pound expansion plans under way at all three of its main museums. This summer’s big show, timed to coincide with the 125th anniversary of the artist’s birth, is split between the Prado and the Museo Reina Sofia, and promises new perspectives on Picasso’s place both in the history of art (at the Prado) and in contemporary happenings such as the Spanish civil war (at the Reina Sofia).
A smart time to see it, assuming you can stand the high-summer heat, might be during Madrid’s juggernaut of an arts festival, Veranos de la Villa (July 1-August 13) — six sultry weeks of opera, dance, theatre and circus.
How? Museo Nacional del Prado (00 34 91 330 2800, museoprado.mcu.es). Fly there with BA (0870 850 9850, www.ba.com), BMI (0870 607 0555, www.flybmi.com) or Aer Lingus (0818 365000, www.aerlingus.com).