Watching the Labour song about the impact of the higher minimum wage might have inspired you to cut off your own ears.
But it inspired Philip Collins, Times columnist and former speechwriter for Tony Blair, to write his own version. Enjoy:
Do you know it’s Christmas time, Nuttall?
It’s Christmas time, there’s every need to be afraid
At Christmas time, we let in Tories as Corbyn stayed
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And in our world of Lefties, we can kill all hope of joy
Throw a party in the bin
At Christmas time.
But say a prayer and pray that the leader goes
At Christmas time; we know that the country knows
There’s a fate beyond the election; the PLP in one Uber
Jez and Diane in the back seat; no stopping till Cuba.
And the Christmas bells that ring here are tolling now for you
The party of the many prefers the few.
And there won’t be hope for Labour in this Brexit time
Ukips in the North; Liberals in the South
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The only star karma there
Comes from Keir Starmer’s hair
Do you know it’s Christmas time, Nuttall?
Here’s to Ukip
And where has Corbyn been?
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Here’s to death
Pro-Castro and hates the Queen
Do you know it’s Christmas time, Nuttall?
Weed the allotment, let us know it’s Christmas time again.
(Repeat until the Labour party fades from view)