What I’ve learnt: Geri Halliwell

Geri Halliwell, now Horner, 43, was Ginger Spice in the Spice Girls and has written a number of children’s books following the adventures of nine-year-old Ugenia Lavender. Last year she married Red Bull Racing team principal Christian Horner, with whom she lives in north London. She has a nine-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.

When somebody very close to you dies, you can get what I call death energy. When my father died, I was 21, a student working six jobs part-time – behind a bar, cleaning somebody’s house – so I could save enough to go into a recording studio and become a singer. That pain was petrol in my tank. His death taught me life is here and we’d better make the most of it.

Being a mix of nationalities teaches you to adjust to your environment, wherever you are. My mother was a Spanish immigrant. My father was English, with a splash of Swedish and French, but completely patriotic. I have a real sense of the world, but I have always felt incredibly British and I love British values.

Human beings naturally want to be part of a community, a gang, a tribe. The essence of the Spice Girls was always “we” rather than “I”. You belonged.

Everybody puts on a mask. The bank manager puts on his suit and tie; when a woman puts on her lipstick and black dress, she’s putting on her suit of armour. It’s a bit like a first date – you don’t give everything away, just your best first impression.

Writing can get you out of a rut. If you’re stuck with the housework or looking after the kids all day, it can feel like you will never have the chance to be imaginative again. Even writing a small story can change that.

Sometimes you need a push to get over your pride. My daughter said I should do The Great Sport Relief Bake Off. I thought, “Oh God, I’m going to humiliate myself on national TV.” I was shocked when I won it.

Most people are much more relaxed than you think. I didn’t pinch Prince Charles’s bum, as was reported. I patted it. Patting him on the bottom was against royal protocol but we’re all human. It was the premiere of our film, Spice World, in the late Nineties. There was a lot of nervous energy – young women, happy antics.

Experience makes you too hesitant. I went to a skating rink once for a charity party and there were a lot of sick children there with life-threatening illnesses. But they were whizzing around the ice while their parents were clinging to the sides. And I thought, why is that? Because they’ve fallen over before. They know what the pain feels like.

Bulimia for me was an unhealthy tool I used instead of talking things out. It taught me to be honest when I was struggling, to find balance, be kinder to myself.

A parent is just a shepherd. You don’t own the child. One minute I think I’ve cracked it and the next my daughter, Bluebell, has moved on to a different stage. All I can do is be a good example; try to be an honest parent, to say sometimes I don’t know.

As I get older I’m less angry towards other people. It’s more, “Oh dear, that was silly.”

The people around me are my teachers. Everybody’s got something to say and a view that has value whether or not you share the same opinion.

When they’re first in the spotlight, a person is untainted and a bit less guarded. Like Adele: she’s so unairbrushed. After a few years, the things that come out of people’s mouths tend to become more political, diplomatic, homogenised. Eventually, you come out the other side and think, you know what? I’m not perfect, but I’m all right.

Geri Horner is partnering with Netmums to invite budding authors to create a story for Barbie (netmums.com/activities/barbie-dreamtopia)