The City loves a big name. The chance to parade a former political big-wig or ex-captain of industry in front of suitably awe-inspired clients is enough to convince most deal-hungry bankers that the takeover they’re plotting is as good as in the bag.
And the recent history of the Square Mile is so littered with A-, B- and C-list celebrities that many of its venerable institutions would probably fare passably well in an audition for Love Island, or Get Me Out of Here, I’m a ... Royal Banker.
To whit John Major, the former bus conductor-turned-Prime Minister who worked for a short while at private equity house Carlyle; then there was James Archer, son of Lord Archer, who managed to disgrace himself as a “Flaming Ferrari” while at Credit Suisse First Boston; and then there is Sir Alex Ferguson’s son, James, who is still holding down a successful career as a fund manager.
And now, the City of London is preparing to receive one of the biggest names of them all. Prince William, the reluctant royal, is preparing to take a few months’ sabbatical by working in the Square Mile, or possibly even at the City’s erstwhile home in Canary Wharf.
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But where will William go? And when he makes his choice, will his favoured firm actually be happy to have him?
Rumours are already sweeping through the client suites of the City’s top firms about where Prince William might end up, although Clarence House is for obvious reasons keeping tight-lipped. Natural candidates include the blue-blooded bankers Cazenove, or Schroders, the stockbrokers to the Queen, or Coutts, the family’s bank that is now owned by Royal Bank of Scotland.
Lazard or Rothschilds, both natural homes for any well-connected Man about the City, would also be appropriate landing places for the versatile young royal. Barclays is being named, where Williiam’s uncle, Lord Fellowes, is chairman of the private bank.
He may even find himself at an American-owned institution. William would welcome the secrecy of Goldman Sachs, for example, where the royal minders could probably learn a thing or two about preventing any embarassing leaks from finding their way into the public domain.
Goldman’s offices in Peterborough Court, off Fleet Street, would also afford Prince William more protection, now that the press pack has entirely moved on - excepting, of course, that he might run the risk of being doorstepped by the Beano, which still has offices nearby.
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If he is prepared to leave the City for Docklands, he could do worse than Morgan Stanley. In fact, isn’t the Wall Street securities firm looking for a new chief executive to replace the departing Philip Purcell?
Merrill Lynch is another candidate - his old school pal Edward van Cutsem works for its fund management arm Merrill Lynch Investment Managers.
All of which is tremendous fun, of course, and once decided, Clarence House will not be able to keep the name of Prince William’s chosen City firm quiet for very long. The City is famously gossipy.
But the reality is slightly more sombre. The truth is that Prince William is highly unlikely to end up at Barclays, HSBC, Morgan Stanley or Credit Suisse First Boston - all of which have enormous offices in Canary Wharf. The security issues make it all but unfeasible to offer the prince the kind of round the clock protection he requires.
And the truth is also that, although it would clearly be prestigous to be named as Prince William’s temporary professional home, the sheer headache of having the paparazzi chasing him wherever he goes makes a poisoned chalice of whichever firm is chosen. All those photographers will doubtless also interfere with the serious business of the bank making large sums of money.
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No, far more likely that the prince’s advisers will alight on a much smaller operation where, although working, the prince has a lot less chance of being noticed. Here at the Times Online, we are loath to commit ourselves. But, helpfully, spreadbetter Cantor Index has already opened a book.
Here are the odds:
Merrill Lynch 5-4
JP Morgan Cazenove 2-1
Barclays Capital 5-2
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Schroders 4-1
NM Rothschild 6-1
Barclays Private Banking 8-1
Coutts & Co 25-1
You pays yer money...