MASTERCHEF GOES LARGE
BBC Two, 6.30pm
“Masterchef returns,” says one of its new presenters, “but it is nothing like it used to be.” The 30-part series, which continues every day for the next six weeks, borrows from the Pop Idol format. Loyd Grossman’s gentle charm has been replaced by the chef John Torode and the foodie Gregg Wallace, who are encouraged to be ruthless because the contestants want to turn professional and, hey, it’s a tough world out there. Ambitious contestants and rude judges make good television but the amateur ideal of the best ingredients cooked with care to make people happy is somehow lost along the way.
DISPATCHES
Channel 4, 8pm
With a new law about to come into force making incitement to religious hatred a criminal offence, this timely programme looks at the clash between artists and organised religion. Whether the controversy involves Salman Rushdie’s The Satanic Verses, the BBC’s (unbroadcast) Popetown or Jerry Springer — The Opera, the issue is always the same — when, if ever, does an artist have the right to offend against beliefs that millions hold sacred? It is a clash of irreconcilable values that often resemble a conversation between the deaf. The programme, not surprisingly, does not offer any pat answers, but it does provide plenty of deeply felt arguments from both sides of the divide.
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AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 TREASURES
BBC Two, 9pm
Dan Cruickshank begins a new series travelling around the world looking at treasures. “I hope to learn something about human aspirations,” he says. “About the secrets of life and death and ultimately about myself.” He begins his journey (sorry, his epic voyage, his grand quest, his odyssey) at Machu Picchu. He strikes poses. He wags his fingers. He points to the views through the windows to the divine landscapes beyond. He examines the architecture. “The size of those blocks of stone! Good Lord! It’s absolutely superb.” Later, he goes hang gliding. “I’m a condor!” he exclaims as he floats through the sky. “Amazing! Absolutely amazing!” It certainly is.
WIRE IN THE BLOOD
ITV1, 9pm
Robson Green reprises his role as the maverick psychologist who is involved in one of those unspoken and complicated sub-textual relationships with Hermione Norris’s Detective Inspector. Together, the two of them race against time to solve serial killings of extreme nastiness — in this case, murders involving the abuse of children. The fact that it is beginning a third series is depressing for many reasons. Apart from being formulaic and implausible, what makes it especially nasty is its reliance on sadistic cruelty to provide a short-cut to entertainment — third-rate trash sexed up with the pornography of violence.
MULTICHANNEL CHOICE
by Gabrielle Starkey
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WHAT NOT TO WEAR
UKTV Style, 6pm
Repeats of the enjoyable series in which Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine bully feeble normaltons into smartening up start tonight with two celebrity makeovers (both long overdue), for Jeremy Clarkson and Lesley Joseph.
CASTLES WEEK
History Channel, 7pm
Over the next four evenings, fans of stony keeps and mossy moats can indulge their passion with a programme per day at 7pm. Tonight’s offering, Britain’s Finest Castles, follows Richard Holmes on a romantic tour; tomorrow’s looks at the works of the architect James of St George; Wednesday’s investigates the bloody reality of castles under siege in the 14th century; and Thursday’s examines their medieval use as prisons.
VICTOR BOGORAD: CARTOONISTS ON THE FRONT LINE
BBC Four, 8.30pm/2am/3.30am
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Part two of this quirky little series examines the work of Victor Bogorad, an award- winning Russian cartoonist with a philosophical bent to his satire.
SPECIAL: CHAVS
Sky One, 9pm
As readers of Friday’s T2 will know, Julie Burchill can’t resist leaping to the defence of chav culture (think of Little Britain’s Vicky Pollard and Danniella Westbrook). And to be fair, her argument that middle-class derision of the working class stems from fear, envy and incomprehension makes sense. In Burchill’s film, a wide range of entertaining interviewees, from the Shameless creator Paul Abbott to Jimmy Savile and Lizzy Bardsley, stand up for all that’s good about chav culture — community, attitude and a love of fun — while wearing their Burberry with pride.
TREE OF GUNS
BBC Four, 9.30pm/3am
This optimistic film follows a sculpture, made out of guns left over from Mozambique’s bloody civil war in 1991, as it travels to its new home at the British Museum.
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YOUR LIFE IN THEIR HANDS
UKTV Documentary, 10pm/12.35am
It is impossible to describe the wonder and intensity of this programme. A brain tumour has been disgnosed in a 30-year-old man and the neurosurgeon Henry Marsh presents him with a stark choice. Unless the tumour is removed, he will be dead within five years. If it is removed, there is a danger of brain damage. To minimise the risk, the operation would need to be performed while the patient is awake. Dr Marsh describes neurosurgery as “thrilling, exciting and rather wonderful”. This overwhelming documentary shows why that is an extreme understatement: here is humanity at its most brave and brilliant.