UNION JACK: A BANNER FOR BRITAIN
BBC Two, 7pm
The silly season has arrived with a vengeance. This year, the Chancellor, Gordon Brown, asked Britons to fly the Union Jack in every garden to show what it means to be British. In the aftermath of the London bombings, the idea of uniting under one flag is said to be back on the political agenda. But many people have difficulty in seeing the flag as a unifying nationalist symbol. The singer Billy Bragg believes it was forever tarnished by racist organisations in the 1970s. British Muslims also have difficulty with it. According to the radical cleric Omar Bakri Mohammed: “They see it as a flag that was used to justify the bombing and killing of civilians in Iraq.” No doubt The Sun also has a robust view.
GORDON RAMSAY’S F WORD
Channel 4, 8.30pm
The fact that Gordon Ramsay happens to be a stunningly good cook makes up for all the hype, the swearing and the macho posturing that accompanies his media persona. This is the start of a new series of his popular magazine programme, billed as “more than just meat and two veg”. During the series, he will shout at amateur cooks, befriend piglets before slaughtering them, incinerate celebrity cookbooks and try to persuade the British to embrace such classic local produce as eels and snails. But what he does best is cook, which is amply demonstrated when he shows a group of junk food guzzling Neanderthals in Clapham how to cook a Malaysian curry in less time than it takes to fetch a takeaway kebab.
THE CONVENT
BBC Two, 9pm
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The four “ordinary” women — who appear to have been carefully selected for their restless and neurotic self-obsession — have now spent ten days with the nuns at the Convent of the Poor Clares. The nuns hope that by adapting to their routine the visitors will be able to “enter a place within themselves where there is no noise” and thus develop a relationship with God — or at least a better understanding of themselves. But instead of trying to adapt, the visitors flout the rules and behave with a total lack of consideration and respect, to which the nuns respond with patience and kindness. The visitors are reminded gently that if they don’t take the opportunity on offer, they are the ones who will lose out.
WORLD CUP WATCH
PORTUGAL v MEXICO
ITV1, 2.30pm (Kick-off 3pm)
Mexico insist they will not hold back in their crunch clash against Group D leaders Portugal, despite needing only a draw to go through. Both teams have been disappointing so far.
IRAN v ANGOLA
ITV2, 2.30pm (Kick-off 3pm)
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Despite Iran already being out of the tournament, they will probably have more supporters than Angola, who reside 46 places lower on the GDP table.
HOLLAND v ARGENTINA
ITV1, 7.30pm (Kick-off 8pm)
This has the makings to be one of the games of the tournament. Argentina were reminiscent of the legendary Brazil 1970 side as they swept aside Serbia & Montenegro in their last game. Imperious enough to look the favourites against a decent Dutch side.
IVORY COAST v SERBIA & MONTENEGRO
ITV4, 7.30pm (Kick-off 8pm)
After their mauling by Argentina, Serbia & Montenegro will want to claw back some dignity against an entertaining Ivory Coast side.
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MULTICHANNEL TELEVISION
by Gabrielle Starkey
ASTERPIECES OF THE BRITISH MUSEUM
BBC Four, 8.30pm
This is a valuable series for anyone without ready access to London and the treasures of the British Museum. Part two looks at the Assyrian Lion Hunt reliefs, a magnificent work of such delicacy that a modern-day sculptor charged with re-creating it finds the details impossible. The film also tells the story of the Iraqi archaeologist who found the tablets and his Victorian British colleagues, who took the credit.
MUMS WHO LEAVE THEIR KIDS
Sky One, 9pm
The number of women walking out on their families is rising, so The Sun columnist Jane Moore, a mother of three who is horrified by the concept and has written columns pillorying the perpetrators, investigates. It is a taboo and emotive subject — one father who was left holding the babies says that it would have been easier to explain if his wife had died — and the interviews suggest that mental illness, particularly postnatal depression, and low self-esteem could offer an explanation. But Moore cannot bring herself to see this maternal failure as anything other than selfishness, and her lack of empathy leaves her paddling in the shallows of an important investigation.
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BIRD IN THE AIRPUMP
BBC Four, 9pm
No animals were harmed during this examination of Joseph Wright’s celebrated painting An Experiment on a Bird in the Air Pump, but the birth of vivisection is just one of many subjects that come up. Continuing BBC Four’s excellent The Century That Made Us season, Benjamin Woolley presents a fact-packed documentary that ranges over Wright’s life, the history of modern science and its attendant problems; the painting, completed in 1768, encapsulates both the scientific excitement and philosophical terror of the Enlightenment. To add even more drama to his story, Woolley re-creates some of the 18th century’s seminal experiments along the way.
PHOENIX NIGHTS
E4, 9pm/9.30pm
Yet another chance to wallow in the northern comedic brilliance of the second series. In the first episode, Brian (Peter Kay) watches the Phoenix club burn to the ground and dreams of a resurrection.
THE ORIGINAL AUTOPSY
More4, 9pm
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As part of their Gunther von Hagens week, More4 is repeating the stomach-turning event from 2002 — controversial at the time for being the first public autopsy in 170 years.
ABBA
Biography, 9pm
A fairly serious-minded analysis of the supergroup and their multimillion-selling sound begins with the success of the musical Mama Mia, before going back to the first meetings of a rocker (Benny), a jazz singer (Anni-Frid), a folkie (Björn) and a Swedish national sweetheart (Agnetha) — two marriages made in pop heaven.