DISPATCHES
Channel 4, 8pm
The documentary-maker Sorious Samura spends a month working as an orderly in a Zambian hospital where most of the patients have Aids. He bears witness to an endless stream of misery and suffering, and — in the bleakest quote of the week — says: “Today we are lucky. All the freezers in the mortuary are working.” But even the most modern hospitals could not hope to contain an epidemic that continues to spread across Africa, and Samura discovers why it exercises such a powerful grip on the continent. In this honest and uncompromising programme, he points out that cultural mores and inadequate education are only part of the story.
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GELDOF IN AFRICA
BBC One, 7.30pm
Bob Geldof travels down the River Congo on his own journey into the Heart of Darkness. He does everything he can to look on the positive side, but he finds that Conrad’s vision remains “unbelievably and unpardonably” true to this day. Four million people died in a civil war the West barely noticed. The country once plundered for rubber is now pillaged for diamonds, copper, cobalt, zinc and gold. Small children boast of being “witches” and eating human flesh, and now the UN has the unenviable task of persuading an electorate that they have a future different from the nightmare of their past.
TIME TEAM SPECIAL
Channel 4, 9pm
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Time Team follows a six-week dig in the Witham Valley of the Fens, where archaeologists uncover artefacts from a 3,000-year-old settlement. The use of metal tools in the Bronze Age led to a flowering of woodworking skills, and the waterlogged peat has preserved much of the timber. This is a vintage episode of Time Team, displaying all the qualities that have made the series so popular. Tony Robinson is enthusiastic and informative; the ground is sodden, the weather freezing and the archaeologists look bonkers. It is hard to imagine how a programme of this sort could be done better.
FRONTLINE FOOTBALL
BBC Two, 11.20pm
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Even as Bob Geldof travelled through the bleakest parts of the Congo, he expressed admiration for the resilience of its people. This programme, which acts like a shot of pure, triple-distilled happiness, shows why. In the first of a new series, Ben Anderson follows the Democratic Republic of Congo’s national team in the run-up to their World Cup qualifying match against South Africa. Everything is against them. The training facilities are pitiful; the coach hasn’t been paid, the star striker fails to show up and Congo have already been beaten four times in a row by South Africa. They don’t stand a chance — or so you would think. Next week Anderson visits Bosnia-Herzegovina as the national team prepares to face Serbia.
MULTICHANNEL CHOICE
By James Jackson
TRAFALGAR’S FORGOTTEN HERO
History Channel, 7pm
A sober, dramatisation-free profile of Lord Collingwood — a character rendered intriguing through his overlooked contribution to Britain’s history. He was Nelson’s best friend and inspirational enough a leader to take charge during Trafalgar after his mate’s demise and finish the job. Respect is due.
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WHEN TOBY MET JULIE
BBC Four, 9pm/12.45pm
In 1990, on a day trip to Thorpe Park, three media hotshots — Julie Burchill, Cosmo Landesman (then her husband) and Toby Young — cooked up the idea of a magazine that would provide “low culture for highbrows”. So the Modern Review was born, lasting four turbulent years — written about more than it was read, one imagines — before self-destructing in 1995. In an orgy of mythologising, the trio indulge (separately) in their juicy, contradictory memories of the ambitions, drugs, feuds and affairs that fuelled what became a literary soap opera. Typically, Young and Burchill are as irritating as they are entertaining.
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ENGLAND’S 50 GREATEST GOALS
Sky One, 9pm; concludes tomorrow, 9pm
Geoff Hurst’s World Cup clincher, John Barnes’s samba through the Brazilian team, Michael Owen’s charge past Argentina’s defence at World Cup ‘98 — a few of the feel-good moments that’ll undoubtedly feature in a fun exercise in soccer nostalgia.
BADDIEL AND SKINNER UNPLANNED
ITV2, 9pm; repeated on ITV1, tomorrow, 11pm
A new series of improvised chat from the slobs on the sofa, prompted by a live audience’s questions. It remains a no-frills affair, one that usually provides a chuckle — even the occasional guffaw — but,as ever, it’s dependant on how amiable or irksome you find the lads.
THE MINOTAUR’S ISLAND
History Channel, 9pm
The Nigella-esque Bettany Hughes enjoys the scenic pleasures of Crete as she investigates the story of the Minotaur and explains the “fierce, uncontrollable sexual longings” of this half-man, half-bull beast. As the myth goes, the creature roved its labyrinth demanding human sacrifices before being slain by Theseus — Hughes discovers the reality of the legend, rooted in the 5,000-year-old Minoan civilisation and the palatial structure found at Knossos.
KENNETH TYNAN: IN PRAISE OF HARDCORE
BBC Four, 10.30pm/1.45pm
Another chance to see this tidily dramatised biopic of the corrosive theatre critic (played by Rob Brydon), focusing on the censor- troubling days of his erotic revue Oh! Calcutta!