WHAT THE ANCIENTS DID FOR US
BBC Two, 8pm
Adam Hart-Davis, who is tremendously good value when he is not being irrepressible, begins a new series by looking at a few of the inventions of the Arab and Muslim world. The astrolabe, for example, was a timekeeping device so ingenious that even Hart-Davis has to hand it over to an expert to explain. They also invented the camera obscura, a crank-and-gear system for pumping water, windmills, soap, incendiary devices and the first torpedo. And as if that wasn’t enough, they preserved — and then translated, refined and improved — knowledge from the ancient world, without which our civilisation would be immeasurably the poorer.
THE APPRENTICE
BBC Two, 9pm
In this new Pop Idol for the business world, 14 aspiring entrepreneurs perform a number of gruelling business tasks for Alan Sugar in what amounts to a 12-week job interview. “I don’t like liars,” he says menacingly, “I don’t like cheats. I don’t like bullshitters, I don’t like schmoozers and I don’t like arse-lickers.” The contestant who survives this ordeal and demonstrates the most talent will win the opportunity to work in one of Sir Alan’s companies, the lucky thing. It follows the much-hyped US version of the show with Donald Trump — which was a big ratings winner and turned “You’re fired!” into a national catchphrase — and is every bit as entertaining.
LIFE BEGINS
ITV1, 9pm
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More often than not the phrase “comedy drama” is a contradiction in terms. Slapstick is enjoyable because no one gets hurts, but when an elderly person slips on the equivalent of a banana skin and gets carted off to A&E, it stops being funny. Mike Bullen’s great achievement is to stay truthful to ugly subjects (marriage breakdown, redundancy and Alzheimer’s) while being light and funny and engaging — and, what is more, making it all seem effortless. This is entertainment rooted in truth and performed by actors who don’t play for laughs. “Wisdom comes with age,” says Grandpa (Frank Finlay). “Unfortunately, so does senility.” It is good to have it back.
WHY MEN WEAR FROCKS
Channel 4, 9pm
“I’ve been a transvestite all my adult life,” says the Turner prize-winner Grayson Perry in his introduction to this programme. “This is what wearing frocks has taught me . . .” The vast majority of transvestites, it seems, are married and heterosexual. They are driven by a compulsion that often leaves their wives feeling inadequate and confused. It allows them to relax, to experience a sexual charge, to cross the rigid divide between the sexes, and to escape from drabness in much the same way that a dandy escapes into a world that is “all cashmere soft and velvety smooth”. The difficulty facing the viewer is that large, hairy men rarely make convincing women.
MULTICHANNEL TELEVISION
by Gabrielle Starkey
GARDENS BY APPOINTMENT
UKTV Bright Ideas, 1.30pm
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If you’re lucky enough to be at home watching the television at 1.30pm on a Wednesday afternoon, then you can indulge in this superior gardening show hosted by the Chelsea award-winning designer Richard Sneesby.
UNDERWORLD AT WAR
History Channel, 8pm
This is another of those treasure troves in which pensioners who remember the darkest days of the Second World War recount their experiences, this time on the specific and interesting subject of the criminals who used the conflict as a means of making money. Unfortunately, it is confusingly put together so that in the middle of some great anecdotes about looters and the black market the presenter Peter Williams veers off into stories about spying and unsolved murder mysteries. It’s the first of a seven-part series, though, so let’s hope the format settles down. Next week’s subject is the conman Neville Heath.
CHURCHILL’S FORGOTTEN YEARS
BBC Four, 9pm/11.55pm
Professor David Reynolds offers a compelling new portrait of the British Bulldog, basing his interpretation of Churchill’s life on an early experience that shaped the leader’s vision. As a young pilot, Churchill learnt that a propeller aircraft must face into the wind to keep lift and momentum, and this metaphor of battling adversity, not only to keep going forward but actually to prevent from falling, informed the dogged determination that helped to win the Second World War. Once the war was over, though, and Churchill was ousted from power, he refused to land. Reynolds explores the postwar years with insight and precision.
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POINT PLEASANT
E4, 9pm/midnight
While a meteor shower over Point Pleasant causes more than just fireworks at Boyd’s dinner party, Christina meets an admiring do-gooder.
THE OSBOURNES
MTV, 10pm
How times have changed. The Osbournes used to be outrageous, a peek into the extravagant lifestyle of the all-swearing Brits in Beverly Hills, and as notable for pranks, tantrums and incontinent dogs as it was for Ozzy’s mumbling incomprehension. Nowadays, the kids have grown up, Sharon has fought cancer and become a television star in her own right and the show is more endearing than shocking. No wonder tonight’s new series is going to be the last. Nothing much happens in the first episode — Ozzy can’t sleep and Jack gets another tattoo; Kelly is nowhere to be seen — but it still raises the odd chuckle and a warm, fuzzy feeling of familiarity.