As part of a new “nappy curriculum” for nurseries, toddlers are to be taught how to use a TV remote control. Despite some doctors’ concerns, this seems ideal training for today’s life. Perhaps young children should also be given early lessons in other complications of the modern world. How to microwave their first ready meal. How to set up a wireless broadband connection (helpless parents may be grateful for this). And, perhaps the most baffling of all, how to order the exact drink you want in a coffee shop: “Grande skinny mocha latte with an extra shot to go. In a trainer cup.”