The man clearly had his tongue in his cheek. He wanted the Any Questions panel to say when it thought Tiger would be out of the woods? None could.
Easier to answer is when Woods is likely to return to playing competitive golf again. Best guesses at this stage are at the Buick International at Torrey Pines on the cliffs north of San Diego, California, in February, a tournament where he has enjoyed great success.
As a result of what has gone on these past few days, Woods will not return next year as his former self. The public will not regard him as they once did and nor will the players. Indeed there is even a possibility that he may not play as well as he has done in the past because some of the previous certainties can no longer apply.
Since so many things will have changed by February, here are a few more alterations Woods could make to his personality, behaviour and entourage in an attempt to rebuild his image.
Stop swearing, spitting and throwing and banging golf clubs Tiger must realise how many people find spitting to be unattractive, even if he does not, likewise his obvious inability to control his temper. A reader calls him “the US’s spitter-in-chief”.
Advertisement
He is normally good at understanding the rhythms and rituals of the countries he is visiting. For example, when in Britain he understands why it is wrong to talk of the British Open and traps when he means the Open and bunkers. He knows it is good manners to remove his cap when he shakes hands with an opponent.
No one admires his swearing — neither the regularity of it nor his choice of words. It is a widely commented on aspect of his game. There are those who say that Woods’s use of the F-word on a golf course is the dark side of a man with his enormous gifts as a golfer. Have one and you have to have the other. One question: if Woods can, on occasions, almost will a putt into a hole, how is he unable to will himself to stop swearing?
Smile more Woods must interact more with the spectators and, dare one say it, the press. Be more humble. Sign autographs. This could make spectators change their minds about him and show genuine affection towards him as crowds in the US clearly do for Phil Mickelson, for example, and as they do here for Padraig Harrington and Rory McIlroy. Woods is respected; Mickelson is liked, loved even.
Until now Woods has seemed pretty indifferent to almost everything. He looks as though he is intent on playing golf with as few distractions as possible. He hides behind a mask of inscrutability, declining to engage with the people who have paid to watch him.
Stop behaving as though he is not bound by the normal rules A friend of mine calls this Woods’s “I am God” attitude. “He believes he can control almost everything, hence the tantrums. If that inner conviction is broken, he won’t win the major championships he needs to overtake Jack Nicklaus’s record of 18.” Beating this total is tantamount to being Woods’s life work.
Advertisement
Sack Steve Williams Woods needs to find a sympathetic caddie who is not rude about his player’s peers as Williams was recently when he referred to Mickelson as a p***k. However good a job Williams does for Woods, and one assumes it is very good because otherwise he would not still be working for him, it is bad for Woods’s image to have such an abrasive man as his caddie.
Working for the world’s best golfer has given Williams a manifest air of superiority to which he is not entitled.
Billy Foster, presently working for Lee Westwood, would fit the bill as Woods’s new caddie. He has worked for Woods before, albeit briefly. Foster is very knowledgeable and does not seek the limelight. He has a deft touch, knowing when to goad his man on, as he did to Westwood on the eve of the Dubai World Championship that Westwood won so convincingly last month, and when to stand back. Foster would be the perfect employee for the completely professional player.
Mind you, so might Fanny Sunesson. If she was good enough to be selected by Nick Faldo when he was the best, she is certainly good enough to carry Woods’s bag. Sunesson is discreet, loyal and hard-working. In view of what has happened, however, it may be a little too soon in the minds of many for Woods to have a Swedish female bag carrier.
Seek new professional advisers Woods has been shaped into a bland, aloof and clean-as-a-whistle athlete, good enough to attract huge sponsorship deals reported to be worth an annual $100 million (about £60.7 million). He entered into a pact with his advisers. If he undertook to try to play his best golf as often as he could, to work hard, to appear to be as clean-cut, then in return they would control his image, marketing him skilfully and building him up into world’s best-known, highest-earning sportsman.
Advertisement
Although Woods has become very rich and famous, his image is in tatters. The man who was trained to become the best golfer from the age of 2 has been marketed and presented as something he might have once been but no longer is. So the policy has not worked. Woods needs help now and the people in Team Tiger who have advised him have not earned the right to continue to advise him in future.