Be it David Brent or Gandalf, Martin Freeman is often drawn to follow men with beards, and the Office and Hobbit star has now found another. He backed Ed Miliband in May in a slick video — having then to dodge questions about backing Arthur Scargill’s Socialist Labour party in 2001 — but yesterday transferred his allegiances to Jeremy Corbyn. Discussing Jez at the Edinburgh International Television Festival, TV’s Dr Watson said: “If it means that we are in a wilderness then it is no good at all. However, I happen to think he is the most impressive one of the four.” It doesn’t take Sherlock to work out that that’s not saying much.
Michael Fabricant and his blond mop have been on holiday in Japan during recess, tweeting about encounters with wild bears and complaining about chilled red wine. The Japanese must have seen him coming, laying on a plane from a company called Air Do. As Fab Mike said: “Shame they dropped the ‘h’.”
Mersey mouthpiece
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When Lord Birkenhead, a chum of Churchill, was still FE Smith, a rising young barrister, he was defending a company whose tram hit a child. He objected to the judge asking the boy to stand on a chair for the jury to get a better look. “Perhaps your honour would like to have the boy passed around the jury box,” Smith quipped. Judge Willis boomed: “You are an extremely offensive young man.” Smith retorted: “As a matter of fact, we both are. But I am trying to be and you cannot help it.”
Giving secret briefings is pretty much the most fun an MP can have, so pity the Lib Dems. In a Financial Times article on Corbyn stealing support from Tim Farron, the FT’s anonymous quote read: “‘There is no way Tim can compete to the left of Labour if Jeremy Corbyn wins,’ said one Lib Dem MP.” Given that, apart from Farron, there are only seven of them, I suspect Tim’s hunt for the briefer may be brief indeed.
This charming man
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Brace yourselves: Morrissey, the misanthropic miserabilist, has written a novel, List of the Lost. The only clue to its content comes from the singer’s own pretentious ramblings, writing: “Beware of the novelist . . . intimate and indiscreet . . . pompous, prophetic airs . . . here is the fact of the fiction . . . an American tale where, naturally, evil conquers good, and none live happily ever after, for the complicated pangs of the empty experiences of flesh-and-blood human figures are the reason why nothing can ever be enough.” Makes Girlfriend in a Coma sound like a summery rom-com.
Helen Mirren’s legs
The Queen has known 12 prime ministers during her reign, but Helen Mirren, who has played the monarch in both The Queen on screen and in The Audience on stage, measures her career in stocky footballers. She told Woman & Home magazine: “I wouldn’t be seen dead in shorts. I’ve just got terrible legs. I have these short footballers’ legs. First they were my Kevin Keegans, now they’re my Wayne Rooneys. They were never my David Beckhams, because he has great legs.”