The Belgravia mansion owned by an oligarch that was invaded by squatters yesterday has a history of attracting disruptive visitors as a result of war. No 5 Belgrave Square was once owned by Chips Channon, the socialite and Tory MP, who decorated it in a modest style recently described as “pitched between Liberace and Donald Trump”. During the Blitz, Channon gave sanctuary to RA Butler, the Foreign Office minister, hoping to use it to schmooze one of his party’s rising stars. It soon palled when Butler stayed for two years. Not only did Rab keep Channon awake with his snoring, but he had expensive tastes. “He offers me £14 per month [about £750 today] towards expenses,” Channon grumbled in his diaries. “He costs me at least £30 to keep.” A bomb fell on the house during a dinner party. As a sign of the circles in which they moved, the first air raid warden to reach them was an Austrian archduke.
The mayor of Greater Manchester and the government’s former chief Brexit negotiator had a dispute on Twitter at the weekend about energy policy. In a victory for nominative determinism, the opposing scenarios for heating homes were given by politicians called Burnham and Frost. If only there were a Lib Dem called Tepid to take the middle ground.
Getting up Putin’s nose
Things are getting serious in the sanctions war. The National Mustard Museum in Wisconsin has removed Russian gorchitsa, a paste said to be extremely pungent, from its display of 6,000 varieties. “They will return once the invasion of Ukraine is over,” a sign says. That will get up Putin’s nose like a spoonful of gorchitsa. Russians take condiments very seriously. It’s because of their Tartar source.
Jamie Njoku-Goodwin, Matt Hancock’s former special adviser who now heads the UK Music lobbying body, wants Rishi Sunak to cancel a promised VAT rise on tickets for live events. “It would leave music fans facing a cost of gigging crisis,” he says. Fortunately for him (and me) the chancellor hasn’t introduced a tax on puns.
Castration for beginners
A news story on Saturday about Benedict Cumberbatch being taught to castrate bulls on the set of his latest film led Peter Sergeant to email me about the farmer who taught his son how to do it with two bricks. “Won’t it hurt, pa?” the concerned lad asked. “Only if you get your finger between the bricks,” his dad replied.
Kittens’ brush with Emin
Two years after losing her beloved cat, Docket, a muse for 18 years, Tracey Emin has found new love with a pair of kittens that enjoy running up and sliding down her canvases as she paints. “It’s so funny,” she told Ed Vaizey, the former arts minister, on his Break Out Culture podcast. “As soon as I get the brushes out they’re at it.” Vaizey sympathised, since he is potty about his dog. “I come home and it’s ‘lick heaven,’” he said. “We communicate with snuffles.” How sweet, if possibly unhygienic.
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As minister, Vaizey convinced Emin to break a lifetime’s habit and vote Tory. No more. “How the government’s treating the arts has never been worse,” she said. Emin, below, has asked Boris Johnson to remove from Downing Street her neon installation that says “More Passion”, which she gave to David Cameron. Explaining that neon creates a party atmosphere, Emin said: “I don’t think No 10 needs any more help with that stuff.”
