Wouldn’t it be good if the one-stroke penalty inflicted on Ross Fisher for slow play at the Wales Open last Sunday proved to be a watershed moment for the game? For too long a number of professionals have played at their own pace, unconcerned that they have a responsibility to their fellow players to get a move on, or to entertain those unfortunate enough to have paid to watch them.
It was John Paramor, the chief referee of the European Tour, who imposed the penalty on Fisher at Celtic Manor and it is to be hoped that his action (which was not taken lightly) sent a message to all and sundry that deliberate slow play is no longer to be tolerated.
Fisher was lying second at the time, just one stroke off the lead, and heavily in contention. But from that point on he lost his momentum and his peace of mind and could not get them back. In the past, players have taken warnings for slow play with a pinch of salt, assuming that nothing more than a fine will be imposed after play has finished.
Well, Fisher pushed his luck too far last week and paid the ultimate penalty for his inexorable, excruciating pre-shot routines, finishing sixth instead of first. He had been told to speed up, but seemed to slow down as he chased his first win since 2010. I bet he won’t do it again.
If Fisher’s folly does indeed lead to one, overdue, change in the way the professional game presents itself, then how about a few more?
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Here, in no particular order, is a little list to be going on with:
1. Caddies’ dos and don’ts
Stop the caddies lining up players or reading their putts. Not only would this speed up play, but it would make the player take responsibility for his/her own game. Which is as it should be.
2. Legalised cheating
Two clubs should be taken out of the bag — the 64 degree wedge and the broomhandled putter.
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The wedge, almost flat to the ground, too often allows players to get away with bad shots. Faced, say, with a difficult shot out of rough, over a steep-faced bunker, to a pin cut tight to the edge of the green, a player is able to take an aggressive approach, flopping the ball high into the air and landing it softly, often with exaggerated spin.
The ugliest club in the bag (and embarrassing to boot), the long-handled putter can only be used if it is “anchored” to the body.
That is against the rules, but a blind eye is being turned to the fact. It’s time to do something about it.
3. New balls, please
When some drives are being recorded at well over 350 yards, it is time to consider introducing a ‘tournament’ ball, one that will not fly so far. A number of famous old courses have been emasculated by the modern-day ball — or have been lengthened in an attempt to keep their integrity. It’s the reason why new courses have so many long and boring holes and why, next week, the US Open in San Francisco will have the longest hole in its history — the 16th at the Olympic Club having been stretched to an eye-watering 670 yards. And that is plain daft.
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4. Speed awareness
Get caught speeding in your car and you may be offered a chance to attend a speed awareness course. Why not do the same for golf’s persistent offenders — those who take too long to play the game? They should then be put “on probation” for three tournaments in succession and every shot they play should be timed. If, after three events, they have improved their ways, they lose the time-keeper. If not, they stay on the clock.
5. Less is more
Why not have a few 54-hole tournaments, run over three days, instead of the endless diet of 72-hole strokeplay events dished up on a weekly basis? They could start on a Friday, finish on a Sunday, and could still have a cut after two rounds. And let’s have only two-balls on the final day instead of the three-ball groupings that slow down play and can kill the excitement. There’s nothing better than seeing players going head-to-head.
6. The end game
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Fabulous tournament the US Open.So why spoil it with an 18-hole play-off in the event of a tie? Either take the players to sudden-death or, like the Open Championship, settle it over four extra holes of strokeplay — and all on the same day. You expect to see a champion crowned on the final day of four, not to witness an anti-climax and then be asked to come back the next day. Tradition is fine and dandy, but not in this instance.
7. Damage limitation
Why not allow players to tap down spike marks on the line of a putt? They didn’t put them there, the players ahead of them did.
8. Hats off
If you didn’t know any better, you might think that golfers were born with baseball caps strapped to their heads. We all know why they never take them off, equipment suppliers having turned them into walking billboards, but at what cost? Too many of them look the same, automatons without personalities, especially when hidden behind sunglasses as well. And that’s not good for professional sport. If nothing else, make them take them off in their televised press conferences.
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9. The wow factor
Too quiet, too serene. That’s one of the drawbacks for the crowds following any professional golf event. It’s time to take a leaf out of the Phoenix Open and have one “stadium hole” on every course. It’s a place where the crowds can cheer, jeer and get rowdy. That’s the lifeblood of most sports, so why should golf be any different?
10. The non-wow factor
Anybody noticed how most of the television commentators have started to greet any shot slightly better than average with one exclamation: “Wow!”
Where Butch Harmon led, others have blithely followed. It has to stop.