I can feel the pressure mounting as my whisk whirrs vigorously around the mixing bowl and I agonise over whether my egg whites will pass the stiff peaks test for a perfect pavlova.
The words of celebrity chef James Martin, telling me to have fun and learn from the experience, are ringing in my ears as I try to create two of his signature desserts — a raspberry and caramel pavlova, and a white chocolate and whisky croissant butter pudding. But I am distracted by the view as the island of Guernsey suddenly looms on the horizon through the floor-to-ceiling windows.
You see, this isn’t your usual cookery class. I’m test-driving P&O Cruises’ first cookery school at sea on the 17th deck of its new ship Britannia, which was named by the Queen in Southampton this week. I’m at one of 12 workstations for 24 people in a kitchen with real wow factor. It comes with a long table at which we will eat the creations whisked up under the guidance of the affable Martin and a band of top chefs, including Marco Pierre White, Atul Kochhar and Mary Berry.
The cookery school and onboard food is the headline attraction on what is the biggest ship built for the British market, holding 3,647 passengers, and it’s a game-changer in the cruise industry.
Not that you have to be a foodie to appreciate Britannia, which is designed to embody the very best of Britishness with a contemporary twist. From the moment I embark, it is obvious that this isn’t your typical cruise ship; it’s more a floating Four Seasons or Ritz-Carlton with open spaces, high ceilings and wide corridors that lend a more classy hotel feel than any cruise ship I’ve set foot on.
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In an unprecedented move, P&O brought in the designers Richmond International, which has put its distinctive stamp on luxury hotels such as The Langham in London, to inject a sophisticated ambience more in keeping with Park Lane than ports across the world.
The result is surroundings that simply ooze glamour but in an understated way. Palates of muted shades and clean lines are signature features, with art deco influences and more than 6,000 pieces of art, worth more than £1 million, representing Britain’s largest floating art collection.
The ship’s atrium is a dead-ringer for a glamorous hotel reception area and my eyes immediately gravitate to the striking Starburst chandelier-come-sculpture, a mass of acrylic shards in blue, gold and silver lit from above and within.
Cabins are similarly stylish and while space constraints mean they can never match hotel rooms, they have flat-screen TVs and huge comfortable beds (unfortunately, though, there are no individual bedside lights, and no switch to turn off the air conditioning — just a temperature gauge).
There are no climbing walls, dodgem cars or waterslides on Britannia — it’s just not that type of ship — but there are four swimming pools and some very impressive kids’ clubs, divided into four age groups. There’s even a dedicated deck for teens, who get their own small pool.
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Curious to discover what P&O describes as the largest wellness facility in its fleet, I plunge into the depths of the Oasis Spa and its maze of treatment rooms, aromatic showers, steam rooms and sauna, bunched around a bubbling thalassotherapy pool. Outside, this sybarite’s paradise is matched by the VIP Retreat area where, for a small fee, passengers can lie back on sunbeds or opt for an alfresco massage. It’s impressive, though I think the automatic addition of a 10 per cent tip in the spa isn’t terribly British.
New technology has been brought into play in the Headliners Theatre where I watch as LED screens and surround sound add a new dimension to Britpop-style productions. Live bands keep the beat going in Britannia’s Crystal Room; its wooden dancefloor is the setting for the line’s Strictly Come Dancing-themed cruises, when stars from the popular BBC TV show put passengers through their paces.
It’s all good stuff, but the primary appeal of Britannia lies in its culinary offering. Up in the Crow’s Nest Bar, I leaf my way through the impressive menu of 20 British gins, ranging from an intriguing dark chocolate gin from Cambridgeshire (it smells more chocolatey than it tastes and if mixed with orange juice resembles a liquid Terry’s Chocolate Orange) to the mysterious-sounding Silent Pool gin from Surrey. A few decks below, Brodie’s pub boasts a collection of 70 UK beers, ales and ciders.
There are opportunities to expand your girth at every turn. In the elegant atrium at teatime, I tuck into one of master patissier Éric Lanlard’s exquisite creations, a delicious creamy vanilla cheesecake with a crunchy Oreo cookie base (£2.95 each). Later I move on to one of Marco Pierre White’s formal dinners, where choices include New England split lobster followed by prosecco-poached strawberries.
There are Charlie Turnbull’s cheeses and Atul Kochhar’s curries, as well as Olly Smith’s selection of wines — all for supplements, though the food in the main dining room is a cut above that served on your average cruise ship with the likes of breast of Gressingham duck, sea bass and goat’s cheese soufflé to tempt the taste buds.
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The cookery school comes as the icing on Britannia’s cake, although you need to be quick to book the two-and-a-half-hour classes, which go on sale 120 days before each voyage and cost from £45 each or £100 to cook with the likes of Martin or his celebrity friends (eating with them at a chef’s table will set you back between £150 and £200). Classes with Martin and baking queen Mary Berry reputedly sold out in minutes, and Martin looks rather bashful as he tells me that there is a waiting list of 1,600 eager hopefuls to join classes on the five cruises he is joining this year.
I hope they are more successful than me. My pavlova peaks flop and I have to start afresh, but eventually I have two delicious desserts that I can tuck into along with the rest of the group. As I leave, I’m feeling guiltily over-indulgent. Luckily, it’s not far to the impressive gym — it’s next door to the cookery school. Now that really is forward thinking.
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Sara Macefield was a guest of P&O (0843 374 0111, pocruises.com), which has a seven-night cruise to the Norwegian Fjords from £849pp, departing May 16. The price includes a complimentary upgrade to a balcony cabin, all meals, £45pp onboard spending money and a free bottle of bubbly.