This is my experience of love. We were friends, it was simple enough, he was a good laugh and I enjoyed his company. Despite his background, my parents had to accept that not all people are the same. We were no longer in South Africa; after all, I believed in choice. Why should I blame his colour for crimes committed against mine?
I realised that behind people’s friendly smiles, they are fake. The bombshell came and I was in love. There was nothing I could do about it. I don’t know when it happened but it happened.
He was with someone else. At first I believed there was something odd about her but all she ever did was treat me nicely, with respect. Days went by, then months. Their relationship strengthened. I was left in the shadow. We were still friends but each passing day it got harder for me to look at him and not say a word.
The last straw came when he wanted me to become not his “best man” but his “best woman”. I was shocked. How could I say no? He would think that something was up.
So I did the last thing I thought I would ever do — I ran. I got on a plane and headed to the States. My sister had agreed to take me in, not knowing the reason for my sudden departure.
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All I told him was that I would be back soon.
A month before the wedding I phoned with a stupid story about why I wouldn’t make it. He begged me for hours before he accepted that I was not coming back. After all, we met at the age of 16 and we were still friends ten years later. So he wanted me there — but not for the reason I wanted to be there. It’s one thing to love a person, another to see him say “I do” to someone else.
You’re probably wondering what happened. I met him again two years and five months later — two years without a phone call, two years without writing, two years without anything. It was painful. He was happy, with a kid on the way. He never asked me why I left; deep down I knew he knew.
We are now distant friends. It was painful letting go. But that’s life. I later found my happy ending. He was my first experience of love but my husband is my true love till the end.