So what did you think of Benedict Cumberbatch’s performance as Haml . . .
Stop! You’re missing the story here.
I don’t think I am, actually, but go on.
The story is his wife and the mother of his baby, Sophie Hunter.
Fantastic! She’s an intelligent and beautiful woman with a degree in modern languages from Oxford and a successful career as a theatre director. I’m thrilled that she’s the story.
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Oh dear. I’m afraid you’re missing the point again.
I am?
Yes. It’s the dress she wore to the opening of said production of Hamlet.
Oh, god. “Accomplished woman fulfils her destiny by acting as arm candy while wearing a frock’’? Has it come to this?
Apparently so.
Tell me more about the dress. I believe it’s orange, with one sleeve?
Why do you think that? It is clearly, as any fashion editor will tell you, a directional, coral Osman Resort 2016. But yes, we can at least agree that it’s definitely got one sleeve.
Why?
Why not? You can have one-shouldered dresses, so why not one-sleeved?
Because we’ve got two arms. For the same reason, you don’t get trousers with one leg.
You have a point.
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Surely the point is not how many sleeves there were, but what Hunter looked like in it?
Classy, as always, not least because she paired it with some excellent, punky studded Valentino stilettos.
Any accessories?
I’m so glad you asked that. Yes. She accessorised her dress with Benedict Cumberbatch.