Just think of the words — French kissing. If love has a mother tongue, surely it’s the language of Alain Delon, Maurice Chevalier, Juliette Binoche, Simone Simon and Emmanuelle Béart.
French cinema, in particular, has long been synonymous with sensuality and eroticism — while in Hollywood married couples had to keep one foot firmly on the floor, Brigitte Bardot was bronzing her assets in Technicolor. And though French music then had the same pull — think of Jane Birkin breathing “Je t’Aime” to Serge Gainsbourg — it has not adapted to modern love nearly so well as le septième art.
So for all you would-be partners in passion out there, here are the lessons in love to be learned from the likes of Bardot and Belmondo, Deneuve and Depardieu, masters and mistresses of the form:
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1. Eyes on the prize
Start with the opening scene of Betty Blue — two great-looking actors (Jean-Hugues Anglade and Béatrice Dalle) engaged in several luxurious minutes of naked writhing, all under the distracted smile of the Mona Lisa. No, there are no pickup tips here, but this scene is an inspiration in itself; it’s important to have something to aim for.
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2. Setting the scene
When it comes to seduction the French have a built-in advantage, and it’s called Paris. As anyone who has gone out on a first date knows, the right location can make all the difference. The combination of the Eiffel Tower, the Seine and the night is pretty unbeatable (see our Paris supplement in today’s Times). In Les Amants du Pont-Neuf, Denis Lavant impresses Juliette Binoche by stealing a police boat so that she can waterski beneath the fireworks marking the Republic’s bicentennial. You may not be able to reproduce this effect in your home town, but with soft lighting, the right soundtrack (we recommend Georges Delarue or Maurice Jarre), and lots of premier cru, you might at least approximate the mood.
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3. Go with a game-plan
The French were quick to realise that while spontaneity can be charming, it may not get the job done.
The master in this respect must be the Vicomte de Valmont (John Malkovich in Dangerous Liaisons). Challenged to seduce Madame de Tourvel, France’s most virtuous woman (Michelle Pfeiffer), Valmont sees to it that she seduces him. (“You see, I have no plans to break down her morals. I want her to believe in love and virtue and the sanctity of marriage, and still not be able to stop herself. I want the pleasure of watching her betray everything that is important to her. The sentimental old fool!”)
That the scheming Marquise de Merteuil (Glenn Close) ultimately bests Valmont, when he falls for his target, only shows that women can often be more skilful at such love games than men generally appreciate.
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4. Open your mouth
It’s not just for kissing. If French cinema tells us anything, it’s that you can talk your way into anything (or anyone). Eric Rohmer has devoted a whole career, nearly 50 films, to exploring the eroticism of good conversation. Hone your eloquence with the aid of Cyrano de Bergerac, passion’s poet laureate; or if that’s a bit debonair for a Saturday night, you could always bone up on the eager teen negotiations in À Ma Soeur: “On the edge doesn’t count . . .”
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5. Follow your heart
In the merry dance that is Amélie, the lovestruck waif played by Audrey Tautou is smitten by a curious young man who hangs around photo booths. We know it’s a coup de foudre because the director, Jean-Pierre Jeunet, flashes to an X-ray of her thumping incandescent heart.
Clearly a student of movie love, Amélie keeps her eyes on the prize. She sets the scene — inviting him to a rendezvous in beautiful Montmartre — and pulls him into an elaborate charade involving a Zorro mask, human statuary, hastily scribbled billets doux and don’ts and a photo booth repair man. It’s a treasure hunt and she’s the treasure. And it works.
Admittedly, Amélie does not talk to her Nino — thus bypassing lesson 4 — but, then, maybe she knows something we don’t. This is Paris, after all, where a kiss is never just a kiss and love conquers all.