Famous beds are seldom tidy. Tracey Emin, Hugh Hefner and John Lennon won no prizes for their hospital corners. But that’s no excuse for leaving your duvet in a crumpled, unwashed heap in the morning. As the obsession for styling our homes spreads to the bedroom, the art of bed-making is being revived in all its taut flat-sheet glory. This time, however, the look is more boutique hotel than boot camp, involving the kind of indulgence that would raise Matron’s eyebrows.
You can blame the romantic minibreak. Ever since Bridget Jones rebranded what used to be known as a dirty weekend, we have been padding about in terry robes, cluttering bathroom shelves with miniature shampoo and even plumbing in roll-top baths to re-create the fantasy.
At centre stage is the bed. Sheets must be Egyptian cotton. Pillowcases should be in several shapes and sizes, while the duvet cover is not presentable unless draped in a cashmere throw and scatter cushions.
Our new-found love for dressing up what used to be a private part of the home, off-limits to even the most prying dinner party guest, means that your bed linen’s thread count is now as eagerly scrutinised as celebrities’ red-carpet dresses. Anything under 200 and you may not be invited back.
Getting the look has become such an exacting job that John Lewis is offering lessons on how to get it right. Over the next few weeks shoppers at the Oxford Street store will be treated to “hotel bed-finishing” classes. Customers will be taken through the entire bed-dressing process and learn to create the ultimately comfortable and luxurious bed.
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It is all in honour of the Sleep Council’s National Bed Month, an annual event run by the bed industry. This year’s theme is the nasty-sounding “toxic sleep” — sleep deprivation caused by dodgy bedding.
There is no chance of that with Dan Wilson, visual merchandiser at John Lewis Oxford Street, in charge of the bed-making. “With a flat sheet you get a much smoother finish,” Wilson says. “It may sound strange but you don’t get a proper fit with a fitted sheet. A flat sheet gives you a much tauter finish that is much more luxurious and comfortable.”
For best results, use an oversize sheet with plenty of leftover fabric to tuck under a hefty mattress. Start at one of the corners by the head of the bed and tuck the side of the sheet under like an envelope before doing the opposite side. Only then do you move to the foot of the bed. Give the linen a tug before tucking it in the middle and moving to the final two corners.
The real trick to this part-wrestling part-origami technique is economy of movement. One tuck, one swoop under the corners is all it should take.
Next, the pillows. Wilson starts with two completely square pillows. These ones, however, are not for sleeping on. Think of them as base-line pillows, dress them in a contrasting colour and prop them up vertically against the headboard.
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Layer on one plump pillow such as the Polish duck down (£45) swathed in an Oxford pillowcase, the kind with the flaps round the sides, before adding a much flatter hollowfibre pillow (£8) in a plain housewife pillowcase.
Experts are divided on the best technique for putting on a duvet cover. One approach involves laying the cover flat on the bed before sliding in the duvet. But Wilson swears by the inside-out method. “It’s best to wash your duvet cover inside out,” he says. “Your duvet will not only last longer, it’s much easier to match the corners and then flip the duvet over.”
One of the store’s bestsellers is the all-season duvet. A thin summer one at 4.5 togs buttons on to a mid-season 9 tog one to give you a winter warmer of 13.5 togs.
The lighter the duvet, the higher the price. A synthetic three-in-one costs £75 for a double, a white duck down one is £120, while a winter snow goose duvet costs a hefty £440 but feels like sleeping in a cloud.
The rest is decoration. For the ultimate luxury, a cashmere throw (£280) is hard to beat. Silk cushions complete the effect. But before you rush out and invest in half a dozen, consider whether your other half shares your enthusiasm for them. Your bed might look glorious but there is nothing alluring about the sight of your partner chucking them on the floor in a huff.
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To book a bed-finishing class, e-mail: events_oxford_street@johnlewis.co.uk