Here, have you heard the one about Prince Harry’s pal, the so-called Boar Terminator?
The what?! Who on earth is that?
His real name’s Prince Franz Albrecht zu Oettingen-Spielberg, of course.
Well, I can see why they shortened it, but Boar Terminator? You’re sure it’s not the “Boor Terminator” instead? I can imagine he comes across plenty of them. Or “bore’? Even more of them in the circles he must move in.
No no, more the grunty, tusked variety.
Look, there’s no need to be rude about them just because they’re posh.
No, the animal. Prince Franz is the star of several online hunting tutorials that showcase his skills with a shotgun, pitted against boars in the snowy wilds of Bavaria. Terminating living things is one of his favourite pastimes.
What’s this got to do with Prince Harry?
Well, Harry visited the Oettingen-Spielbergs recently for a hunting weekend . . .
And? He’s been shooting since he was knee-high to a boar himself.
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. . . and his girlfriend Meghan Markle is a part-time vegan who owns two rescue dogs.
Ah. That’s awkward isn’t it? Californians have never understood the special relationship between Englishmen and things they enjoy killing.
Well, should any future visits be in the diary, Meghan might get on with Franz’s wife, a baroness. She’s also an actress — you know, Cleopatra von Adelsheim von Ernest.
And what do they shorten that to?
Just Cleo.
How boaring.
