I would be on another planet if I wasn’t aware of a little of the post-match talk after Twickenham on Saturday, so these are my thoughts.
When you are playing at fly half, you are obviously in the spotlight. If you help to make things happen and they go well, you get a lot of credit, and if they don’t, you take the heat. I never bought into the credit, I’ve always said a rugby victory is a 15-man victory, and it’s a 15-man game when we lose, as well.
That’s not to say that I shirk responsibility. I know I was involved in some passages of play on Saturday which I wish I had executed differently. Early on, I thought I directed the game quite well, but in the second half, I did a couple of things which put us under more pressure rather than less. The idea was right, but the execution wasn’t. The problem we had was that these mistakes snowballed.
I guess I should fast-forward to that pass late on in the game. The way I saw it was that we were short of numbers. Danny Cipriani had just come on, he has two great feet and he had more space and time than I did. Outside him was Paul Sackey and, between the two of them, I thought maybe we could have had a mismatch out wide.
As I saw it, it was a no-lose decision. Wales were flying up on me, but not outside, where Danny and Sacks were. I saw that the Welsh were moving up on me so quickly, I thought I needed to get the ball away quicker and that’s why I misjudged the weight of the pass.
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As I threw it, I felt it was about right, but I just put too much into it. Wrong execution, but the decision? These are decisions you make throughout a game. We’re in that England team because week in, week out you are making those decisions productively and positively.
People say we should have played for territory. To me, that’s like telling someone to go out and make some money. You can’t just go out and get it. What you need to deal with is the process.
Field position doesn’t grow on trees. Sometimes, by kicking, you end up under more pressure than before. You have to understand where your chasers are, you need to have created space. So, did we have the right opportunities? A lot of the time on Saturday the answer was no.
One of the pitfalls in coaching is people who come in and demand the final result without understanding the processes. Undoubtedly, when I watch the tape, I will see chances where I could have kicked for territory. When I didn’t, though, it was because the processes weren’t right.
You might ask: why didn’t you do this or that? Or kick for territory? We’re not stupid, we know what we want to happen, it’s just trying to make it happen. One massive kick just doesn’t do it any more - it’s not that simple.
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In order to control the game, you need to be able to influence it and in the second half we just had very little influence. When you are scrambling like we were, that is when the momentum goes.
I hate to talk about speculation over selection, but I realise that this has become a talking point. My attitude to this is that you can’t waste energy thinking about it. Being picked is fantastic, but if I’m not deemed the best person, then I’d understand. I certainly wouldn’t want to stop the person who is.
All I’d say is that, obviously, I’d hope to be playing for England again against Italy this coming weekend. You are always learning in this game and I am naturally aware that there are lessons I can take from Saturday.
Finally, I feel obliged to address the injury to Jonathan Thomas. There has been speculation that it was my tackle that led to it. I feel that it was not my tackle and I would add that it is always very sad to see a player going off injured.
I stand firmly against foul play in the game. It has never been my desire or intention to be involved in anything like that and neither will it ever be.